To say that not everyone deserves closure - sometimes you just get left?

[TheOliveViper]

Closure is nice when you get it but it’s not a right. Sometimes people disappear, end relationships badly, or hurt you without a neat explanation. AIBU to think that demanding closure from everyone is unrealistic and that learning to move on without it is part of life?

yep just went through a situation like this recently. Cousin decided to ‘phase me out’ of her life, without explanation.

It would be nice to get closure on everything, but you can't demand it and sometimes you just have to accept you're never going to get it

Is it a ‘right’? No. But do they deserve it? Yes. Two didn’t things.

What's made you post this question? Dont think anyone thinks it's a right, just something that's good to have under certain situations

Why do they deserve it? Everyone? In all circumstances?

Just something I’ve seen a lot - people talking about “deserving closure” or expecting it as a given. I don’t think it’s always possible, especially when someone walks away without explanation. Some people treat closure like it’s something they’re entitled to from others, rather than something they sometimes have to create for themselves.

Closure isn't when you've said everything you want to say or have no more unanswered questions.
Closure is when you no longer care about the unanswered questions or unsaid things

Well if someone walked out of my life without explanation I'd be pretty hurt. An explanation would help to understand it rather than it being like being ghosted all of a sudden. If your a good person I think you deserve to be treated with respect.

Sometimes you see posts on here from someone whose old friend who left them suddenly gets back in touch apologising. Maybe doesn't change anything but at least you get that closure at long last to understand what went wrong.

'Entitled' and 'demanding'. I wouldn't choose either of these words...

But yes, I think we should treat people well and expect the same in return.

OP has set up a scenario in which the person wanting closure has been wronged (“Sometimes people disappear, end relationships badly, or hurt you without a neat explanation”). In those scenarios, yes, the person who has acted decently and without malice deserves closure.

Will they get it? Sometimes not. Doesn’t mean they aren’t deserving of it.

I agree, it’s not a ‘right’ although in an ideal world it would be a ‘nice to have’. An ex-friend was so cruel to me about 9 years ago and I’ve just never really understood why. If she didn’t want to be my friend anymore, ok…friendships end. But the things she said to me came completely out of the blue and were vile. Clearly to her they’d been brewing for ages but I was blindsided. Would I like closure? Yes. I know I’ll never get it and I’m ok with that.