To feel this resentful towards men

[PY1]

the patriarchy, institutions and traditions that uphold the patriarchy… etc

I am late 30s and qualified in a competitive profession. Ever since I’ve had a child it’s been a huge challenge to progress. Working life isn’t set up for women with children… which is absurd considering without women giving birth and being mothers, there would be no civilisation anyway for businesses to run or healthcare to be needed and so on.

I am just having a moan really. Even if I earn as much as my male colleagues one day, it won’t extinguish the cost I’ve incurred in bringing up a child with flexible working requests and slight cutting of hours to do the school run and having to miss out on a pay rise while on maternity leave.

What makes me even sadder is that there’s so many women who seem to think this is ok. It makes me angry and resentful of men and I don’t want to go through life feeling like this!

It’s the patriarchy keeping wimmin in their place innit.

The amount of female apologists is almost as bad. Not quite, but almost.

There’s an interesting article about medical research and almost all is done on the default male human.
Or the fact that crash test dummies have all got male anatomies.

The outcome for women is so much worse in both a medical setting and a car accident. There are so many other examples. It’s sickening really.

Try reading Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez! Or you might not want to as it might wind you up more. Fascinating read but infuriating!

I agree. I think even when specific men are not problem men they are ignorant of the reality which helps the patriarchy perpetuate. Same goes for female apologists.

and the women who praise men for doing a decent job like they are superhero. It gives the impression they have gone above and beyond when really they have just not oppressed women. That shouldn’t be seen as amazing and brave it should be the fucking norm!

It's my belief that we are all our own best advocate. I share your resentment of the inequality between men and women, but I don't think women should count on men to change that inequality. I know many women aren't going to like what I'm about to say, but women need to gain some control back. As it stands now, women are giving everything away "for free" to men, without making them work for it. We excuse their bad behaviour, we subside them, we raise their children from other women - and pay for the displeasure - and we accept responsibility for everything: paying bills, cleaning, cooking, looking after children, working full-time. Why? Why are we doing that? Well, I'm not doing that, but many other women are. And they are not better off for it, most of the time.

It is infuriating that women still have to work harded, smarter and better to be seen as potentially, as good as a man. I think that for a lot of men, and some women, men are people by default, and women are lesser. That women's rights are human rights still needs to be said is shocking.

My career suffered by having a child, and lising flexibility to work long hours, travel at short notice etc. I've seen women do well in my field, but very few of them are women with children, while for men there is no penalty for parenthood. I've been so thankful for being able to take unpaid leave to cover school holidays, but was always available for calls, because I felt I had to show my gratitude.

Invisible Women which a few PPs recommended is fantastic, but infuriating, there are ways women are discriminated against that I'd never been aware of.

A more fun read is The Power by Naomi Alderman, a novel about a world where men and women have swapped places in the hierarchy, and how it happened.

How is that any different to a single man raising a child?

Does your partner share the parenting?

“We raise their children from other women”

Eh?