To think its time to put the cat down?

[SkibbityBopBo]

DH will not agree.

Cat is 20 years old.

Positives:
Still has good appetite
Mostly mobile
Seems happy plodding about and sleeping
Very loving

Negatives
Occasionally vomits (has been to vets multiple times, had bloodwork etc. They say its just his age, no physical reason to be found)
His back legs give way occasionally
Is completely deaf
Can't see very wel
Meows a lot because he is deaf and trying to find people
Pretty sure he has dementia, he gets confused and sits facing the wall/wanders around aimlessly.

All this I have lived with for the last few months with no issue BUT

Now he is starting to shit outside his box. In the hall, on the carpets ect

And today was my last straw as he SHIT on my kitchen counter and pissed in my stand mixer jug 😭

I told DH that I think its time now and he got mad.

Because hes not seeming to be in physical pain he doesn't agree.

YABU- He is happy enough and not in pain so leave him be

YANBU - If hes pissing and shitting on the kitchen sides its time to PTS.

This is the Ikea boot try if you’re interested. £2.50 well spent! https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/baggmuck-shoe-mat-in-outdoor-grey-60329711/

No he won't go out.

Sometimes when it's sunny I carry him into the garden and he sits on my knee for maybe 5 mins but he always runs back inside very quickly, but I think he likes a few mins in the sun.

We have several litter trays all over the house.

Thankyou, the trays are all in similar trays with puppy pads around them for easy clean up :)

Our cat’s the same. He’s 19. DH wants to wait, but everything I’ve read says it’s nearing the end.

We’ve found that when we’re not readily available it’s better to shut him in the utility room with his bed, food, water and litter tray. There he eats, drinks, sleeps and uses his litter tray with ease. If we leave all the doors open, he wanders, gets confused and yowls, which is distressing for him. So he’s either on the sofa with us, or in the utility room.

It’s a matter of time, but my DH is slowly coming round to the idea. Far better to choose a time that’s convenient and let them die surrounded by those who love him, than waiting to long and having a stressful end.

A day sooner is better for your cat than a day too late. It’s the kinder option to have it put to sleep, and it will not know what you are planning.

Better a week too soon than a day too late OP.

Put the cat down. Animals can't tell you they're in pain. Why make the cat suffer?

I would PTS by now definitely. If your husband won't, he should be the one to clean up all mess

He does, but thats besides the point. Its not about the mess, it's about the cats quality of life.

I know its hard. We have had him 20 years. I can't imagine him not being around but it seems unfair on him

Quality of life is more than about physical pain (plus cats hide pain well anyway). There's quality of life assessments you can look at eg this one from the Blue Cross to help you reach a decision. https://www.bluecross.org.uk/advice/cat/wellbeing-and-care/time-to-say-goodbye-to-your-cat

OP, you and your husband have my sympathies. It is so difficult to know when to make the decision. To be honest, I’ve regretted a few ‘too late’ decisions but never thought we’d gone ‘too early’. This is the up and downside of being able to make the decisions on behalf of the pet.

Do try and come together over this with your husband. Some vets will give pointers – we had one who gently asked if it was XX’s final time to see her.