to be surprised how much better I get treated now I have lost weight?

[Lossisgreat]

I was borderline obese and have now lost the weight. I did not use WLI.

Men would shout horrible things at me about my weight. Kids would snigger. All of that has stopped. I am treated much more nicely in restaurants and shops. I no longer get people giving my stares if I am eating on the street. I would always get looks of disapproval before.

I am pleased but feel a bit sad too that people felt like they could treat me horribly because I was fat.

People can be vile and unkind. Thus it ever was. I will never forget as a 25 year old going to a party with a slightly slimmer and prettier friend, and a man of about 45 - with a face like a bashed crab (context rather than anything that bothered me per se) - coming up to me and saying 'and you must be the ugly sister?!'. I often think about that moment 25 years later.

I'm sorry you ever experienced the behaviour you did. This is why the body positivity movement is so important. How can people who are shamed and feel marginalised or even hated drum up the energy and courage to go to the gym and pursue their goals for a healthier weight if people seem so determined to make them feel ashamed for where they are?

I'm surprised that you're surprised. Well done on your weight loss.

Im also surprised that you're surprised.
Well done on losing weight.
I've lost 2 stone steadily since December and have another 2 to go.
Not sure why you mentioned not having used WLI?

Yabu to be surprised. It is common knowledge that people are routinely poorly treated due to factors such as weight, colour, class etc.

Hello. Congratulations and I hope you are doing well.

I am sorry to hear how sad you feel. It was mean behaviour, I cannot imagine treating anyone like that.

It is interesting though isn't it, how people perceive us based on what we look like. Me personally, I put it down to biology. Males are disposed to sense women being fertile, so their seed gets spread and more life comes about. You only have to see how animals behave. We are not so different when it comes down to it. Men see a small waist and think, 'that one isn't pregnant.' It attracts them.

But perhaps it is more than that. Being attractive, being clean and healthy, must make us appear attractive to people because it is best case scenario. Health, logevity of the species, that sort of thing. I think it is the same with black eyes (Leave him love!), pregnancies (don't you look gorgeous xxx), self harm scars (whatever silly things get said) - basically, if people can see evidence of a 'problem' they want to comment and make it go away. I'm sure homeless people get shouted at - it is not good to be homeless and people want it to go away. Similarly with really overweight people - it is not healthy and people shy away from it, and they are right to, it is right to slim down and sort emotional things out a better way that doesn't hurt you.

I'm sorry you feel sad and I hope you feel better soon. It is a complex issue. I hope you come to really enjoy looking lush and that you enjoy your body now - less aches, more sex, more feeling great, nicer food, a better relationship with food and general all round happiness x

I think I’ve been lucky because I’ve never encountered that, even when I was obese. I was slim, fat and now slim again but actually I didn’t notice a huge difference in treatment.

ETA I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, I know it does, I was just fortunate that it didn’t happen to me!

I absolutely did use WLI and will shout from the rooftops about this miracle drug. I have gone from 103kg (16stone) to 60kg (9 stone) … I also treated my self to a tummy tuck after 6 months at ‘goal’ (just to make sure I didn’t put it back on again) .. and yes. The way people relate to me is completely different. I am aware of this because I was thin (size 8) from early teenage to early 40s.. but under active thyroid and steroids changed all that and boy did I notice the difference..fat means stupid, lazy, not worth talking to. not attractive or remotely fanciable .. thin is the polar opposite. People are so shallow.

It’s a sad indictment of how shallow people are.

Like the same arseholes who bang on about “amazing” someone looks when they’ve lost weight with no self awareness that at the same time they’re basically saying that that person looked like dog shit before.

…And like my narc boss who people fawned over because she lost some weight but she was still the same toxic, bullying, vile human being.

Beauty comes from within imo.

I'm afraid that this is quite common. Being fat is the last taboo. I was 7.5 stone (105 lbs) overweight until about 3 years ago and I have noticed people are so much nicer to me now. What really used to piss me off was that men who I wouldn't have touched with a 40 foot barge pole (i.e. ugly 😂) felt that it was fine to make nasty remarks about my size. I felt like saying to them well at least I can lose weight,what are you going to do? Have cosmetic surgery? 😂 I've still got another 2.5 stone to lose,but the difference between having a BMI of 44 and having one of 32 is remarkable.

I am obese according to the nhs calculator. Have been for a few years now since menopause.

I have never once had anyone say anything horrible about my weight. People treat me exactly the same now as when I was a lighter weight. I don’t know if I’ve been lucky or what.