icks

[Createausername1234]

Hello, asking for advice please, as I would like to know if I am being very unreasonable.
There are certain icks that even after telling my husband about it, he carries on with the same behavior.
e.g the metal scrubber is left in the sink after a washup by my husband, I don't like to see the scrubber in the sink intertwined with food particles. I have asked him to put it back in a dry box, he never will.
There are small things like this that he carries on doing.
I prefer not to annoy people, so if something I do is annoying others, I will immediately stop doing it.
There are soo many such examples, that I am starting to feel he is doing it on purpose.
Is this a man-woman thing? Is it very common in relationships?
any advise is great, thank you.

God don't sweat the small stuff. Literally everyone has irritating habits.

If you’re expecting perfection from another human being then you’ll only end up disappointed. Relationships only work with compromise and letting some things go.

I understand. There are a few icks that I held in for a very long time and eventually told DH were making me unattracted to him to the point where I would have to leave the room over certain things. He seemed surprised but carried right on with them....I also feel like he's now doing it on purpose since he knows it bothers me because when he's told me that certain things bother him, I make sure to try not to do them anymore. It also tells me how little he cares about my opinion of him. One more ick!

I think there comes a point where, if someone has so many issues with things so trivial as a scourer being left in the sink, it just becomes controlling and nitpicky being told you have to pander to their tiny niggles all the time.

You say you don’t like to annoy people, but I would be really annoyed by someone telling me, a grown adult, where I had to put a pot scrubber.

I’d be seriously unimpressed if my DP complained about where I left the scourer after washing up. If you want it somewhere specific then feel free to put it there. Don’t micromanage other adults over stupid shit like this. It’s the road to divorce. If he wasn’t pulling his weight at all, fair enough, have a conversation but if you just don’t like the way he carries out the housework he does then do it yourself.

I had icks when I first met my FWB, now more than that, although won't ever live together. Now those icks have turned into acceptance of somebody else's quirks, which we all have.