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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Petty and pathetic things that wind you right up….

52 replies

tangerinemagic · 11/05/2025 22:36

I know this probably sounds petty, and I want to hear everyone else’s petty things that wind them up. AIBU is just for traffic and stories if anyone wants to join.

This evening, DH casually asked, “Can I borrow your phone?”

No reason given, so I handed it over (I have no secrets lol and he knows that).

He sat next to me and started tapping away, and when I asked what he was doing, he said he was returning a household item I’d bought that is not serving us well and is under warranty, but I hadn’t gotten round to sorting. I said, “No need, I’ll do it,” but he carried on.

And then, of course, literally 10 seconds later, a message I’d been waiting for and stewing over all weekend came in. I’d been quietly hoping for it, checking my phone constantly, which he knew and last night I said I’d given up all hope..

And instead of letting me have that moment, he looks up and blurts out, “X just messaged you!”

I thought he was joking and I know it’s not a big deal, but it felt like my little moment got taken away, and for no good reason. I would never have handed over my phone if I’d known what he was going to do. I was already on tenterhooks about it. I told him he’d ruined it for me, and he stormed off calling me pathetic.

He is not wrong but I was furious. lol.

OP posts:
Happyinarcon · 12/05/2025 08:01

OP I was going to chime in with something I find annoying, but after reading your post I feel you should be more self reflective. It’s abusive to make up random inexplicable things to get angry over. That’s what people are referring to when they talk about walking on eggshells around someone, meaning they have no idea what will set them off and cause an angry outburst.

MoonWoman69 · 12/05/2025 08:05

The continual toast debacle in my house! Toast crumbs in the butter, toast crumbs on the bread board and the none use of a plate, dropping butter and jam wherever he goes. Then he breezes off to work and leaves me with to wake up to it! I now open another butter for myself, leave the breadcrumbs on the board for him to sort when he gets home, (when I'm feeling chilled out enough!) and I grudgingly wipe up any drips. Doesn't matter how many times I bring it up, it still happens on a regular basis! 🙄

Titasaducksarse · 12/05/2025 08:09

MoonWoman69 · 12/05/2025 08:05

The continual toast debacle in my house! Toast crumbs in the butter, toast crumbs on the bread board and the none use of a plate, dropping butter and jam wherever he goes. Then he breezes off to work and leaves me with to wake up to it! I now open another butter for myself, leave the breadcrumbs on the board for him to sort when he gets home, (when I'm feeling chilled out enough!) and I grudgingly wipe up any drips. Doesn't matter how many times I bring it up, it still happens on a regular basis! 🙄

Lol...YES! Went to bed and all was tidy. Wake up, go downstairs and it's crumb armageddon...not helped that DP chooses this really seedy bread that gets everywhere.

amooseymoomum · 12/05/2025 08:12

If you were waiting for something you should have said no i need my phone at the moment but in all fairness he was doing something you admitted you had not got round to doing.
as for Liam Payne I guess he thought as you were not a girl but a grown up with a baby you would not be so worked up about a celeb

MoonWoman69 · 12/05/2025 08:28

Titasaducksarse · 12/05/2025 08:09

Lol...YES! Went to bed and all was tidy. Wake up, go downstairs and it's crumb armageddon...not helped that DP chooses this really seedy bread that gets everywhere.

Oh thankfully I don't have the seeded stuff going on, but I may as well with the amount of crumbs he leaves! 🤣
I never make food without cleaning up after myself, it annoys me that he doesn't, even after me constantly mentioning it and him constantly saying he "forgot"! 😡

changedusernameforthis1 · 12/05/2025 08:34

WhatsApp voice notes annoy me too, especially if I'm out an about without any earphones. DW got sent a 6 minute one last night and I'm sure her eye roll made sound 😂

I have a friend who does one specific petty thing, but it amuses me more than annoys me. Say she texts me, and I'm busy do I don't respond for 4 hours and 11 minutes. She will message me back 4 hours and 11 minutes later. It took me way too long to realise she was doing this. However, if I'm free and message her back instantly and she doesn't, she's weirdly apologetic and explains what she was busy with etc so I think she might have her own issues around that.

DontReplyIWillLie · 12/05/2025 08:49

Awobabobob · 12/05/2025 06:41

I kind of know what you mean re liam Payne and significant news. My dp went to watch a film with his dad - his sister knew they were at the cinema. Ofcourse when the news came in that Michael Jackson had died she texted dp to tell him - he glanced at his phone during the cinema and saw the message on his screen. Ruined the film. Why text that then? Why not wait until a suitable moment?

I always time giving significant news so that it doesn’t cause too much disruption to the receiver - especially if they’re working or sleeping

Why didn’t the silly sod turn his phone off?

Cherrysoup · 12/05/2025 09:04

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 12/05/2025 06:07

Dear god!
He shouldn't read your messages, but telling you some pop star who you do not know is dead without preamble is nothing to get worked up about.
What did you want? For him to have drawn all the curtains in the house? To light some scented candles, put on Barber's Adagio for Strings, place a box of tissues nearby and break it to you via the medium of mime?

You say that but when Michael Jackson died, there was a colleague sobbing hysterically in the staffroom. I asked someone who had died, thinking it was a family member but no, all to do with MJ. I think people become very embroiled in thinking they 'know' a celebrity, not my thing, but if you're a very keen fan, perhaps you feel pretty devastated? I find it odd, I mean, you don't know them, there are worse things going on closer to home.

WhySoManySocks · 12/05/2025 09:15

You seem to have more of a relationship with your phone than your husband.

Ceska · 12/05/2025 09:24

Awobabobob · 12/05/2025 06:41

I kind of know what you mean re liam Payne and significant news. My dp went to watch a film with his dad - his sister knew they were at the cinema. Ofcourse when the news came in that Michael Jackson had died she texted dp to tell him - he glanced at his phone during the cinema and saw the message on his screen. Ruined the film. Why text that then? Why not wait until a suitable moment?

I always time giving significant news so that it doesn’t cause too much disruption to the receiver - especially if they’re working or sleeping

How did it "ruin the film" ? How is the death of a celebrity " significant news "?

Was he particularly close to MJ?

Ceska · 12/05/2025 09:28

Lilly11a · 12/05/2025 07:34

This sounds so petty but there are 2 sensors to check in when you get to our station about 6ft apart .

If you use the first one , you block everyone else from getting to the second one .

  1. No body else ever uses the 2nd one even when there is a queue .
  1. I use the 2nd one if there is a queue and nobody ever says thank you
So so petty 😁
  1. I use the 2nd one if there is a queue and nobody ever says thank you

eh?
Why would someone say thank you to you for using the 2nd sensor

(I'm so confused on this thread)

notatinydancer · 12/05/2025 09:29

tangerinemagic · 11/05/2025 22:38

In similar fashion and I know this sounds even more ridiculous but another story of similar ilk.

When Liam Payne died (I was a bit of an older One Direction fan back in the day and this was big news to me), I’d been up all night with our 2-week-old.

I avoid my phone while awake all hours because I try to get straight back to sleep. So hours later, when I finally stirred, it was way past the time DC1 wakes so DH was up and about I was still in a pitch black room, baby curled up beside me, DH walks in and just says, “Liam Payne died.” That was it. No warning, no space to wake up or take it in, just dropped in my lap before I’d even sat up.

It’s not about celebrities or messages. It’s about wanting to feel something on your own terms. To have a bit of control over how you experience things even just for a second.

I’m pathetic, I know but anyone else..?

Edited

I’d have killed him for waking me up.

Shardonneigghhh · 12/05/2025 09:32

People who say they "did" a country. No Sharon, you didn't "do Italy" last year, you went there on holiday. For a week.

Trebormints74 · 12/05/2025 09:35

Mumdiva99 · 12/05/2025 06:02

What have voice messages to do with the OP? (Am I missing something).

OP you are being unreasonable. You partner didn't read the message jist told you it arrived. Your partner was just telling you Liam died. Not demanding he knew how you feel.

OP question was what things do you find annoying and she gave her examples first.

Lilly11a · 12/05/2025 09:45

Ceska · 12/05/2025 09:28

  1. I use the 2nd one if there is a queue and nobody ever says thank you

eh?
Why would someone say thank you to you for using the 2nd sensor

(I'm so confused on this thread)

Because then it means they can use the 1st one at the same time and the queue moves faster .

Eg 2 of us can tap in at the same time instead of 1.

KimberleyClark · 12/05/2025 09:52

People spreading their stuff out all over the bench in the gym changing room.

Thepossibility · 12/05/2025 20:52

I get irrationally angry if DH says whatever I'm eating (if he's not having the same) looks good. Like my the people pleaser in me thinks I should've made it for him and now I can't enjoy it properly without feeling bad. So silly, I know.

tanstaafl · 12/05/2025 22:21

professional tennis players using two hands when playing backhand.

Hallebere · 12/05/2025 22:30

The neighbours boys constantly kicking a ball at a net for hours and hours. The constant thud drives me insane when I'm trying to relax in the garden. Also the balls often come over into my garden. I'll never say anything because I know I'm being oversensitive but honestly the constant thuds but my teeth on edge.

MasterBeth · 12/05/2025 22:37

Awobabobob · 12/05/2025 06:41

I kind of know what you mean re liam Payne and significant news. My dp went to watch a film with his dad - his sister knew they were at the cinema. Ofcourse when the news came in that Michael Jackson had died she texted dp to tell him - he glanced at his phone during the cinema and saw the message on his screen. Ruined the film. Why text that then? Why not wait until a suitable moment?

I always time giving significant news so that it doesn’t cause too much disruption to the receiver - especially if they’re working or sleeping

Why look at your phone when you're IN A CINEMA?!

savuni27 · 12/05/2025 23:31

The kids putting their washing everywhere except the wash basket. Every. Single. Time. It enrages me daily 😂

NamechangeJunebaby · 12/05/2025 23:37

AgnesX · 12/05/2025 07:40

People who walk abreast hogging the pavement. So oblivious to the world around them.

So inconsiderate.

This! Lack of spatial awareness generally - it really burns my onions!

And don’t get me started on people who email then call you to make sure you’ve received the email….

Also when someone calls you from a withheld number and then doesn’t bother to leave a message. Then three days later says they’ve been trying to contact you. I have no crystal ball - how would I know?

Folk who put a big bag on the train seat next to them to stop others sitting down.

And so many people seem to be more entitled nowadays - if you don’t work hard you don’t get what you want. Someone who has only 1 year experience at work has demanded a pay rise or they’re walking out apparently - they want what I’m paid (I’m a supervisor with over 25 years experience and they ask for my advice multiple times a day). Mind you I just chuckled at that.

Awobabobob · 12/05/2025 23:37

MasterBeth · 12/05/2025 22:37

Why look at your phone when you're IN A CINEMA?!

To make sure it’s off?

AgnesX · 13/05/2025 07:14

NamechangeJunebaby · 12/05/2025 23:37

This! Lack of spatial awareness generally - it really burns my onions!

And don’t get me started on people who email then call you to make sure you’ve received the email….

Also when someone calls you from a withheld number and then doesn’t bother to leave a message. Then three days later says they’ve been trying to contact you. I have no crystal ball - how would I know?

Folk who put a big bag on the train seat next to them to stop others sitting down.

And so many people seem to be more entitled nowadays - if you don’t work hard you don’t get what you want. Someone who has only 1 year experience at work has demanded a pay rise or they’re walking out apparently - they want what I’m paid (I’m a supervisor with over 25 years experience and they ask for my advice multiple times a day). Mind you I just chuckled at that.

I've never been sure when the new grads start demanding pay rises, if they've been promised too much at recruitment or whether they've got overinflated ideas of their self worth.

ItsFineReally · 13/05/2025 07:36

People who look at their phone in a cinema...

People who message you on Teams just saying "Hello" and then wait for you to respond before launching into what they want. Drives me insane.

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