Boys with long hair at secondary school

[Whateveryouwant1]

My boy has long hair and is off to secondary school in September.
I'm looking for other mums views on how their boys got on with starting secondary school with long hair. Did you find your boy was treated differently or not due to hair length?
Or did you encourage them to cut a short cut before they started?
It's up to him how he has his hair but he's very sheltered at primary school.
aibu - he'll be fine with long hair
Ainbu - he'll be a target with long hair

Not my son, but friends of his have been made fun of. Depends on the length and the child I feel, some can fend off the jokes and others will take it to heart. I think you should have your hair however you choose but sadly it can attract the wrong attention.

Both my sons have very long hair. No problems whatsoever, although I had to teach them to do a pony tail for cooking and DT. Some people thought they were girls initially and they just said ‘no, I’m a boy with long hair’ and that was that. Once puberty hit that wasn’t a problem of course!

My ds had long hair. It was never even commented on. He wasn’t the only boy with long hair either.

I'm a teacher at an inner city secondary school and I can think off the top of my head of at least ten boys in my school who have long hair. I can't say for sure they haven't been bullied (I don't know any of them well enough to know that information) but if I've ever come across any of them in lessons/at break time they appear confident, settled and with friends.
Let you son keep his hair how he wants it, it's part of his identity and he'll find there will be people that accept him as he is (as everyone should!).

Quite a few boys at secondary with long hair including one of mine. I don’t think anyone has commented really apart from when he was initially growing it and then not negative just inquisitive.
DS is very confident in what he likes though, he’s very quick at comebacks for any teasing.
Is long hair allowed though? DS’s best friends school doesn’t allow long hair for boys unless it’s for religious reasons.

My DS went through state seniors with slightly longer than shoulder length hair, as far as I know no bullying. Pretty tough school too.

It depends how resilient he is. Some boys don't deal well with any teasing, and will chop their hair off straight away, some are a bit more robust and ignore any teasing, and just get on with their lives. Presumably they have to have it tied up during sport, science, home economics, etc.

I’m a secondary school teacher and long hair on boys is fine

DS had long hair from Y7-10. A few idiotic kids made idiotic comments but DS has rock solid self esteem and didn’t give a hoot. The higher up the school, the hairier the boys seem to get so I’d say he’s ahead of his time!

My son is bullied for his long hair in secondary, but as he said if he cuts his hair it would just be something else they bully him for

He ties his hair back daily it's better for him

DS2 has long hair. During covid when they were wearing masks he was told more than once to get out of the boys toilets. He was called a 'transgender bitch'. Schools response was "there's no evidence that happened" and "well he could cut his hair couldn't he?"
To be fair, he's got a very "feminine" face anyway, although the facial hair helps these days!

I know DC at other schools who have had no issues at all though.

If that's in the UK that is illegal - they can't ban long hair for one sex while allowing it for the other.

Both of mine have shoulder-length hair by choice. As far as I know, no one has ever commented. I would guess that it’s something that a bully might pick on if they’ve already chosen a target, but not the reason for the target.

My DS has long hair. He has been genuinely mistaken for a girl a number of times, but it doesn’t bother him. I dont think he has been picked on for his hair although he wouldnt necessarily tell me. But he has plenty of friends, one also has long hair.

The only issue for me is when people assume he’s transgender, but that doesn’t seem to bother him either.

My DS has had long hair since lockdown he currently y10 at secondary and wears it in a pony tail to school. In the first few months at secondary he was occasionally miss-sexed but would say 'I'm not a girl, I'm a boy with long hair' as he had done at primary. As far as I am aware he hasn't had any bullying and now at 15 and 6'3" with his man face he doesn't get mistaken for girl anymore.

Hair may need to be tied back, check school rules, boys and girls

This is all good to hear.
From what I've read they don't have a separate boy/girl hair policy just that long hair is to be tied back in certain classes and no outrageous styles/colours

It depends on the school, and whether other boys will also have long hair. DS was fine in central London. We moved to East Sussex and it was a different story (though also it was a really rough school. We moved him to another, which is brilliant, but has a v, strict short hair for boys policy. So no more long hair for now... )

There are boys with long hair at DS1's secondary - don't seem to get any more stick for it than all the other varied hairstyles.

But yes, they have to tie it back during the school day, just like the girls with long hair do.

This is what worries me.
Not sure how I'd find out about if other boys have had trouble or even if alot of them have long hair 😕

my nephew has long hair and plays in a band. He’s very cool in an alternative way and can definitely carry it off. As far as I’m aware he’s never been bullied for it.

There are loads of boys where I teach with long hair. I always think that they are more creative than the girls, as any length goes, along with all sorts of interesting haircuts. Nearly all the girls have long hair which is quite boring, really.

Tell them their policy is illegal (unless it's an all boys school or girls also have to have short hair too. )

My 2 older boys have long hair. Ds1 has been affectionately called "Hagrid" because his hair is black and curly and he has a beard. Ds2 has never had any comments.

Loads of boys have long hair now, I'd be very surprised if he was the only one.