3-Year-Old Extremely Fussy Eater – Any Advice?

[BChanna83]

Hi all,

I’d really appreciate some advice or reassurance — especially if any professionals are around, or if you've been through similar with your child.

My 3-year-old son has always been a very fussy eater, even during weaning. His diet mainly consists of “beige” foods — things like plain pasta with butter, cheese, chicken nuggets, rice krispies, banana and strawberries, brioche, croissants, toast, fish fingers, oaty bars, smoothies and yoghurt. He completely refuses vegetables (won’t even try them) and seems quite suspicious if anything looks unfamiliar. Mushing or hiding veggies hasn’t helped much either. He really struggles with the texture of meat too — unless it’s something like a nugget.

He still asks for milk in a bottle regularly, especially in the evenings, and after work I’m honestly too tired to argue, so I often give in. He goes to preschool 3 days a week and apparently eats “ok” there.

I’ve been to the doctor, and they say he looks healthy and his weight/height are on track — so no medical concerns at this stage. But I’m still worried about his limited diet and long-term habits.

The added stress is my husband constantly making comments to others about how disappointed he is with our son’s eating, and making digs at me for “giving in.” It’s really wearing me down — I work full-time and I’m genuinely doing my best to offer him variety and keep things calm.

So — am I being too lenient? Does this sound like normal fussiness or something to worry about? Any tips or success stories would mean the world right now.

Thank you!

Your husband sounds incredibly unhelpful. It's not solely your job to get him to eat although I think making a battle over food is counter productive anyway so you are doing the right thing. Some kids are just fussy . It sounds pretty normal to me and like he is at least hitting the food groups. The only thing I'd change is not giving him as much milk or restricting it to morning/ evening (easier said then done I know!).

So what is your ‘D’H’s fabulous suggestion?(!) TBH I think his attitude sounds worse than your son’s diet….

I too have a fairly fussy 3 year old. We try to keep things relaxed, and gradually she is trying more foods. Sometimes she’ll just have a nibble of something she doesn’t normally eat (before going back to her plate of plain rice…). But I still take that as a win. She’s recently got into green beans and broccoli so I serve one or the other most days, and I feel like at least we’re moving in the right direction.
It sounds like you’re doing what you can, so I don’t think everyone getting more stressed is going to improve things any quicker.

If they are a fussy eater then try some free tips from specialists. There's lots of free content from professionals online.
If they are extremely fussy like you say then I would probably buy a course.
When my boy was in his most fussy phase I almost booked a course with this lady I had found on Instagram family.snack.nutritionist

But I followed her free advice like make sure the child always has "safe foods he likes" on every plate, and don't put pressure on eating but ask things like "do you think I can make a louder crunch than you can with this carrot?" And shockingly he would pick up the carrot and eat it!! Something that would never have happened otherwise. He actually got better without me having to pay. I'm still close to booking it though because I imagine she has a million more tips she could give me. I would hesitate to take random people's advice though, specialists are the way forward for sure

If you dont offer and have it in the house then he has no other options.

Inhave a 3 year old DS and he has tried it many times since atarting but simple you ewt what I cook or Starve. Of course qack a plate of nuggets and chips and haooy days. But nope I make a variety of foods from all over the world and ingive him healthy optiona. But I never give into demands for the plain basic junk foods. We dont have it in the house stockee. If we do but it it ie once in a blue moon.
It is the parents fault. How does a child onow what nuggets are? Who brings them inside the home?

Well aren’t you a smug delight. You just happen to have a child who will eat whatever is put in front of them. You’ve not cracked parenting, nor spelling and grammar.

@BChanna83 I have children who vary from ‘will eat anything that’s put in front of them’ to ‘wouldn’t eat solid food unless it was pizza’. My kids are ND but it was just a case of not making a war out of it. The worse thing to do is make food ‘the enemy’ at a young age, it’s about what feels safe to them. Multivitamin drops in drinks and take it one step at a time. And if your husband doesn’t like it, he can meal prep and feed your child every single meal since he knows better.

I have a now 11 year old with AFRID. From weaning age he was always ‘fussy’. As a toddler he would visibly shake when food that wasn’t his safe food was placed by him. Our dietitian told us not to make food into an issue, as long as he is eating something he will be fine. We were told, as he got older, to have him help with food prep, allow him to handle the uncooked / cooked food, put some on a separate plate by him but not on his plate and if he wants to try then he can.

Following this with interest. My youngest son was exactly the same. Would only eat certain foods or go hungry by choice. He's now 17, taller than me and this year has decided to eat everything!!! I just give him a small portion of what I'm cooking for the family. He can have his safe foods as long as he tries what we are eating. Don't give up op, you are doing a fantastic job. If your other half doesn't like it he can do all the cooking. M
So far this year my son has eaten katsu chicken with vegetable chow mein, roast dinner and he tried a bit of fried egg with his bacon sandwich yesterday. Don't give up on your little one, sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 ❤️

Agree your husband is being very unhelpful. Some things that work with my three year old (also a somewhat fussy eater) - offering her to try anything we're eating. There's been some surprising successes, e.g., olives. On her plate, we try and only offer one 'new' thing (usually something she doesn't like) with a plate of favourites. E.g. she might have plain pasta with sweetcorn and then needs to try green beans for example. She can always have fruit for pudding but needs to try all her dinner if she wants pudding. To make mealtimes pleasant, the thing she has to try is a small amount! We make having two vegetables on your plate a norm, so might offer her three and she needs to pick two (obvs you will need to build up to this - it's taken us awhile!). We offer cut up vegetables like carrot, cucumber, pepper when she's waiting for dinner and they're sometimes eaten. Having her help with cooking is really helpful - e.g. she was putting pesto on salmon for our dinner once and then since she'd cooked it, she tried it and liked it! Blew our minds. She also sometimes tries things when cooking that she won't try when it's made. E.g. she might try a chickpea but wouldn't try it in a salad for example. Talking about how food helps our body, e.g., carrots helping us see better. Talking about how our bodies need protein, etc. and then what's on our plates. Eating together whenever possible.

Hi! I hope you’re doing well and so is your son. This sounds like my son. I’m really struggling with him and was wondering if you had a breakthrough or any advice? Thank you