To think that if you constantly need “good vibes only” around you, you’re emotionally fragile?

[SnappyPeachBiscuit]

“Good vibes only” sounds cute, but in practice, it often just means “I can’t handle discomfort, criticism, or reality.” AIBU to think that needing constant positivity is a sign of emotional immaturity, not health?

It isn’t dissimilar to “be kind” insofar as it is generally the most emotionally illiterate and unkind among us who seem to cling to it.

Not sure what to say......

Yes, good vibes only is toxic positivity nonsense. Trying to keep a positive outlook is fine and sensible. Not engaging with reality and insisting on the same from others is my arse.

I’ve never heard anyone say it tbh. Is it something that you’ve seen on a dating site or something ?

Good point. Nor have I, come to think of it.

It’s definitely a phrase I’ve seen pop up a lot in social media captions, dating profiles, even workplace posters. I get the intention but sometimes it feels like it’s code for ‘don’t challenge me or bring anything heavy.’

Yeah, code for make yourself small to avoid rocking the status quo.

Usually means “I only tolerate people who agree with me”

You are right about it being code for pretending that everything is great and not to bring up any problems or issues.

Precisely.

I’ve only ever seen it on a child’s T-shirt and for that purpose it’s fine.

It would not bother me if there was a gathering with the caveat good vibes only meaning no complaining about real life stuff.

In my experience, the people who push the 'be kind' mantra are the ones who do incredibly irritating things and don't like being called out on it.

In my experience too, most hippy, New Agey people who are all about high vibrations and manifesting, are some of the most miserable, aggressive, easily angered, intolerant, confrontational people. I don't mean to generalise, but, in general, that's been my experience. When people try to push a label for who they are, I always take note and try to work out what they're hiding.

it’s a heartless concept behind this. Aka ’I don’t give a fuck about anyone else’s problems’.

I take it to mean that it is a good idea to surround yourself with people who have good energy and don’t bring you unwanted drama or jealousy or try to bring you down. Ie it is encouraging having good boundaries. It seems like a good mantra to me.

In my workplace, it would actually be very heartless. Sure, we'd love to be "good vibes only", but then we'd be overlooking the very real suffering of so many of our men. We're not really a happy, good vibes sort of place, so preaching that would actually give out the message that we don't really care about the suffering in our midst.

To me, it means no time for anyone causing drama. Bad vibes and constructive criticism are two different things.

Well I don't know. My husband is quite negative all the time and it's v draining. I also have two v stressed, sad and negative work colleagues.

It's not that I don't have sympathy, but mood is contagious and I find it very difficult being around negativity all the time.

I much prefer to be around people who are generally upbeat and motivated. Sure, it's fine to support a friend or loved one who's down, and help them through it. But when it's all the time, or everyone around you that's negative, it does grate and get you down...

Yeah, it totally is. I really recommend Barbara Ehrenreich's "Smile or Die" ("Bright-Sided" in the US) on the whole toxic positivity thing.

I hope these people's friends are still there for them when their own vibes aren't so good due to a bereavement or some other awful thing...