Should I Just Take a Step Back?

[OverVerdant]

I seem to be at the bottom of the list of priorities for my daughter - that is unless she wants something. I've ignored this for a very long time - partly because I want a good relationship with my grandkids and because I love her. I should step up and say something but know I will find it difficult to do this. I feel hurt but at the same time I know she has a lot going on for her with the kids and working. Is that a good reason for her to behave the way she does and would it be unreasonable for me to be a bit less available?

YANBU, have a word with her, she may not know how it’s impacting you.

And out in place boundaries. Don’t be so available. What does she want from you, childcare or money?

I think it depends, if you’re annoyed because you come below her children & work on her priority list then I think it’s a bit unreasonable. Assuming she needs her job & her kids are her kids those things should be priority so if you’re expecting too much when she doesn’t have much time then that’s unreasonable.

Can you give some more specifics.
What are you actually looking for here, and how much time/effort are you currently spending with her.

I no longer do regular childcare but take the boys out for days, treats etc, look after them when asked and often buy the football boots. It is my pleasure but I don’t always get thanked and sometimes feel a bit ’spare’ during visits. It does hurt at times; at others I think they’re just busy and don’t mean it.

Sorry OP, unfortunately this seems to be the way with a lot of families these days, and while I hate to say it, it's not always because they're too busy, some times it's just that they're selfish, as I know from my own experience!