To be getting annoyed with the child next door?

[YayGlitter]

My dog is a registered therapy dog, working with children and young people. Because of this he has to be very well trained and I have to be very consistent with him. Child next door, who is 10 or 11, repeatedly feeds him and throws toys over for him. I have asked her to stop. I have also asked her mum to talk to her about it. Child ignored me, mum rolled her eyes and said "lighten up, it's just a dog"

I have explained the food is because he is clicker trained and isn't allowed people food (he does lunch duty, it's important he knows not to just take food in case he steals or they offer something dogs shouldn't have) and the toys is because he is only allowed dog toys out of his toybox (to stop him running off with a childs toy).

She also keeps opening the gate and inviting him into her garden, there's a communal path so I'm not allowed to lock the gate, its bolted so the dog can't open it but the child can reach over and unbolt it.

I've just had to stick my fingers in his mouth to remove the little squishy foam ball she'd thrown for him coz daft dog tried to swallow it and was choking. It's the same foam ball I have already given back to her twice and told her he is not allowed.

Her mother is doing a poor job there. There’s a communal path, but is there part of your garden you can partition off, away from the child, so your dog can go out safely?

We may need a diagram 🤔

Chuck anything that comes over.

I'd stop giving the toys back. Just bin them and if she complains say the dog chewed them.

The dog cannot be left in the garden unattended then.

You cannot control the child, you can control the dog.

However at age 10-11 I'd expect them to be beyond that kind of nonsense.

I'd also consider locking the gate and providing them with a key to the lock which the child can't use.

As annoying as it is, I think you're going to have to not let the dog out in the garden on their own as your neighbours can't be trusted.

I’d have a solicitor send a VERY sternly worded letter to the parents. I’d also make sure my garden was totally covered by CCTV (webcams are very inexpensive these days) so that I had proof of the child’s actions. And I’d run my phone audio/video every time I had a conversation with any of them.

You have to be very aggressive with arseholes like this.

The mum is the problem entirely as she is ignorant and arrogant which is a toxic combination. Yanbu but I have no idea what can be done about this

I voted YABU for repeatedly giving back the toys she throws over. It’s just encouraging her! Bin them.

It might be “just a dog” but it’s also your dog not her plaything. Time for a fairly stark warning that the next time child feeds, touches or gives things to your dog you’ll be asking her to pay the vet bill when it chokes. And you regard leaving the gate open and letting the dog out of your garden as theft - what happens if it runs off or gets hurt, is her daughter going to take responsibility for that?!

I think dog needs to be supervised for a while though for its safety - preferably while glaring hard at neighbour’s child. Bin everything she throws over.

I’d get a really tall fence or top the existing one with trellis, netting or other to get the message across and if she complains, explain ‘It’s just a fence.’

This feels very ‘written in a specific way’

I would invite the mum over and explain about what kind of work the dog is doing for children in need and that's why you have to be very careful with his interactions so that he can work effectively. She must have a heart of stone not to comply and make her daughter comply with the ground rules after that.

Don't leave your dog unattended in the garden.

Sorted.

The communal path runs along the back of the house. I could potentially block off the rest of the garden though, I'd not thought of that.

What do you mean?

I have stopped letting the dog out unattended because I know that's what I have to do but it annoys me because it was nice being able to have the back door open and let him wander in and out.

I’d install a lovely tall fence inside the current whatever is there. It’s worth losing a slice of space to keep the dog safe. I’d fe furious personally with child’s behaviour. I repeatedly had to shoo people away from feeding horses or tipping their grass cuttings into the field (backed on their gardens) and leafleted them with info. They felt that the horses, because they could access them, were basically public property. You need to protect your dog.

Can your dog access the communal path when he's free-roaming?

Start putting toys in bin bag in your house if the mum is sat come and ask for them within the week, bin them

@YayGlitter You should be able to let your dog into your own garden and be sure it’s safe.

Definitely put a fence up between the access path and your garden. I’d also investigate erecting a “fruit cage” construction. This should stop anything raining down on your dog. I’d be very cross in your position but I think you have to protect your dog. Certainly get 2m high fences. Keep any toys that come over. Definitely.

There's gates between the gardens, so only the part of it that runs through my garden. It's a very rarely used path.

Then you need to fence it off, if anything were to happen with your dog, you'd be liable.

Could you add another bolt or fastening to the gate, so an adult could reach but not a child (hopefully by the time the child grows taller she's also matured more than her mother)? Also, threaten vet bills.

Disgusting behaviour from the stupid child and cretinous mother. I would be reading the riot act - at that age, the child should understand.

I think I would be mocking up a vets bill to the tune of several thousand pounds for the bad food or choking or some such and post it through their door threatening court action if they don't pay. Might make them think……

I get that, and you shouldn't have to. But I think (sadly and annoyingly) you don't have a lot of choice right now - otherwise you risk your dog choking or acting inappropriately during a therapy visit. Maybe the neighbours not being able to interact with your dog for a while will break the habit? But it'll also keep your dog safe while you try and resolve it somehow - by speaking to the mum again, or writing so it can maybe sink in, or creating a fenced off area away from their fence, or maybe putting a high net up).