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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Going on holiday AIBU

6 replies

PRM9909 · 11/05/2025 15:05

I 31F single for 4 years with 3 dogs go on holiday with divorced DF 2/3 times every year. We go on staycations in the UK which have activities that he enjoys there, and for us there’s walks nearby etc. The majority are lodge type holidays which stress my dogs out because if they see or hear anyone in the next lodge they will bark, this puts pressure on me and by the end I feel I need another holiday. My gripe is that when we get on these holidays he doesn’t even do the activities he literally sleeps for most of the day and I end up spending most of the holiday by myself trying to calm the dogs down which really isn’t fun. I can’t talk to him about it as I get shut down and told to either go home or stop moaning but we go to these places specifically for his interests. AIBU to not agree to go? After the holiday he will say he won’t do it the next time. I don’t mind holidaying alone or with friends and the dogs but the thought of him going alone or not at all really upsets me. How can we resolve this?

OP posts:
lnks · 11/05/2025 15:06

Is DF darling father or friend?

PRM9909 · 11/05/2025 15:11

Father

OP posts:
NotAntisocialJustAllergicToNonsense · 11/05/2025 15:13

Go for a weekend with him and have someone (kennel) look after the dogs, then go on a proper holiday you enjoy with the dogs/friends.

EuclidianGeometryFan · 11/05/2025 16:05

Simple. Stop going on holidays with him.

Sort out your own holidays, either solo, or with a friend.

Bunnyisputbackinthebox · 11/05/2025 16:06

Just tell him it's your turn to pick the holiday destination.. He can like it or stay home.

edwardcullensotherwoman · 20/05/2025 10:52

the thought of him going alone or not at all really upsets me

As hard as it is, he is not your responsibility. Besides, if he spends most of the holiday sleeping, what does it matter if he goes alone? I know it sounds harsh, but I’m speaking as someone who for a very long time felt endebted to my parents and should always do what they want even if it makes me miserable.
But that’s not true. Your father is an adult who can choose what he wants to do, you are an adult who can choose what you want to do. Neither of you is responsible for the other’s happiness, and it seems to me that you’d be better off holidaying separately 🙂

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