to not want to host in laws 4 days before going away on honeymoon

[ihaterunning111]

It will be my only free weekend from now until I go on honeymoon in June - DH and I very busy up until that (finishing professional qualification/ working/children etc). It's MIL's birthday so a part of me feels bad putting up this boundary but have offered alternative dates this month or when we get back in July.

We will also have to organise their whole weekend (hotels/travel/cabs etc) so it's yet another thing for us to do when I am feeling stressed. We always do the travelling to them (6 hours), the only time they have travelled to us was for our wedding. I study for a professional qualification (think healthcare) full time and work evenings and weekends. I need one weekend to gather myself before we go away.

AIBU or is it fair enough?

Not unreasonable at all! Suggest a different date or just say a flat 'no, that doesn't work for us'

You could just not do any of that stuff? If you don’t want to be a doormat, get off the floor

If i could... I'd pay my way of this.
Find a cheap deal on somewhere 30 min or so from you and book it for the weekend as a surprise

Edit just saw you want time to prep.

Could you do a sat night stay over so you meet them in the day (you do stuff Am) then Sunday you bugger off after breakfast and leave your DH to entertain)

Failing that id send your DH to them and have a weekend alone

Why do you feel guilty about having personal boundaries? As a PP said you’re not a doormat - just say ‘sorry that weekend doesn’t work let’s arrange another date’

Honestly it’s not difficult

I'd be telling DH should they come you won't be doing a single thing. It's entirely on you.
And make a point of saying you will watch him struggle and still refuse to help.

That sounds pretty selfish and mean to be honest. Poor woman

Why do you have to do the organising? Is your husband incapable?

That aside, just say no. You are busy, and your professional qualification trumps anyone’s birthday. Tell your DH to rearrange with them for a time when he is able to organise the hosting.

Are you nuts? Or a professional doormat? MIL insisting on that particular weekend when OPs life is so pressured is what strikes me as selfish! And yes, I am a MIL and I’d never expect that!

It’s just unfortunate timing.

Much better to offer dates that work for all of you than try to accommodate and add extra stress.

To be honest if I’m expected to host, I expect to set the dates, rather than the other way around.

YANBU at all. I was very stressed between the period of my wedding and honeymoon, I would not have been able to stand this. I even had ti ask my sister for space, no way would I have hosted MIL.

No one would expect a young adult doing their finals to host people for three days, including arranging travel and food etc.

Nor would anyone expect a teen doing their GCSEs or A Levels, to cook and clean a house and entertain adults for three days mid-exams.

So why would anyone expect an adult who is working AND in the middle of critical exams to host.

Postpone the visit, you have a really good reason to.

Drop the "we" and let your husband organize their travel etc. He can do all the meal cooking / planning etc for their visit too, make up their bed, everything. Then in future maybe he'll plan when he invites them a bit more carefully.

@nopineapplepizza In the middle of critical exams? How did I miss that?

It's mil's birthday so I can see why she wants to come that weekend. But yanbu to want to have a weekend to yourself. As for the planning etc, that's down to dh. Does he want her to come? Then he does the organising, hosting etc. if he doesn't then he can explain, rearrange etc.

can they not come Friday night and Saturday night? Check out Saturday still spend time together and go and give you Sunday?
if you’re not working that weekend can DH go? Or DH and kids?

There are options to make this work.