To find DH really embarrassing sometimes?

[CrispyEye]

It’s his interactions with other people. He has this infuriating habit of cutting people off when they’re talking and he does it continuously. Example - we were talking to a lovely woman about a very old town we were in, she was full of knowledge and so interesting :
Her: So this church …
DH : Have you lived here all your life?
her : yes, this church was …
DH : so you’ve never moved away?
her: oh yes, I’ve also lived in …
DH: where you born here?
her : yes, but I’ve also lived all over Europe
Me : sorry, what were you saying about the church?
her : oh yes, the church was built in …
DH : how many churches are in the town?

FFS shut up!!! I want to hear what she has to say!! In the end everytime he cut her up I subtly slapped him to shut him up, he knew exactly what I meant as he would stop whenever I did it and let her finish her sentance but I find it so stressful and embarrassing. He does it with everyone we talk to - even worse if he’s been drinking and I have seen people getting pissed off with him in the past so I know it’s not just me.

When we got home from speaking to this woman I told him his constant interrupting was embarrassing and ruined the meet up. He said he just gets excited and doesn’t mean anything by it but I need him to stop it. I’d infuriates me. Am I over reacting or would this annoy you too?

I do this and I hate it 😭
I don’t know what it is, but my mouth just opens and whatever words are in my brain come out, I realise as soon as I start talking I’ve interrupted or talked over someone and am mortified.

then I make a conscious effort to STFU, but then as soon as I’m not consciously telling myself not to talk I do it again!

Ive been called out on it quite a few times so I know I really annoy people and it’s something that is noticeable, and it definitely gets worse when I’ve had a drink,

So any suggestions of how to stop your DH doing it I will happily steal 😆

Has he always done this? Has it become worse with age? Are you noticing it more than you did? Have your lives changed ie retirement

One possible reason is he could have a hearing loss. Some people as a way of coping with their loss can try and drive the narrative to control the conversation content therefore making it easier to lip read of follow. Also can make reading conversational ques harder. A simple hearing assessment would tell you.

My Dad was doing this and it was his hearing. My Mother noticed more when they retired she was also far less tolerant of him in general 😁

My SIL does this all the time, it’s so rude and embarrassing and I now call her out on it every time.

what she’s got to say is not more important than the person speaking.

When she died it to me, I now say, I was speaking l, please let me finish. Stops her, she sits there with a face like thunder, but it works.

there’s lots of reasons people do this, it can be about wanting to make a connection to the person you are talking to so rather than listening you are thinking of what to say next. It can be anxiety, poor communication skills, hearing, processing. It can be a trait of autism and adhd.

interms of managing it, really self awareness is key, literally stopping yourself from butting in. But how successful you are depends on how self aware you are and how ingrained it is.

If he's always done this, how have you only just realised after (presumably) years of knowing him?

If he started doing it when he didn't before, there would have been a reason - people don't usually undergo this kind of personality change out of nowhere. DP doesn't do this but if he did I'd ask him why the first time!

My dad did it and I absolutely hated it so I get why you're annoyed. But that's why I didn't get into a relationship with anyone who did it..

My husband does it to everyone and it makes want to punch him in the face especially when we are talking to people about serious stuff ( a school meeting etc). His reasoning is bollox like "it popped in my head so I had to say it" or " what I had to say was more important "