Police claim sexual abuse was 'self defence'

7 replies

TheRoseBee · 10/05/2025 19:27

Hiya, bit of a head scratcher. I've had a police investigating my abuser provided 'another side of the story' (by way of text messages from me) that apparently suggest that blackmail, sextortion, threats and abuse were, what I believe the police are trying to insinuate, were in self defence.

I never mistreated my partner, I was always too terrified to breathe an unkind word to him.

Can anyone who knows how the police works advise? He has prior convictions for beating a woman.

OP posts:

Endofyear · 10/05/2025 20:36

Sorry, not sure I understand? Has the ex (abuser) shown the police text messages from you? What do they say?

BakelikeBertha · 10/05/2025 20:52

Sorry OP, but I'm afraid I'm not clear what you're talking about either.

Original poster

TheRoseBee · 10/05/2025 20:54

Endofyear · 10/05/2025 20:36

Sorry, not sure I understand? Has the ex (abuser) shown the police text messages from you? What do they say?

They aren't allowed to tell me but i have a feeling that he may have provided text messages that are falsified so that he can deny the allegations. I don't think it has been investigated very thoroughly.

OP posts:

Nothankyov · 10/05/2025 20:59

I’m sorry - but how can this be right? Have the police said they have closed the case? I’m assuming you are in the UK - there must be a way to complain of take this further.

Endofyear · 10/05/2025 21:05

Surely the police have forensic techs who can tell if text messages have been falsified/doctored? Have the police asked to examine your phone? I would ask for the whole case to be reviewed if they close the case without further investigation.

https://www.policeconduct.gov.uk/complaints/reviews-and-appeals

Reviews and appeals | Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC)

https://www.policeconduct.gov.uk/complaints/reviews-and-appeals

BakelikeBertha · 10/05/2025 22:32

I think that you need to tell us more of the history behind this if you want any proper advice OP. What makes you think he's falsified texts? Have the police told you that he's shown them texts which he claims come from you? If so, presumably if you haven't sent them, it can be cleared up quite easily by giving them your phone?

steff13 · 10/05/2025 22:37

I don't know what the steps are there, but I know our (US) justice system is similar to yours. Here the police generally don't decide whether to charge someone with a crime; they gather the evidence and present it to a prosecutor. Are the police telling you that there aren't going to be any charges against him?

Flip