To be annoyed by DH napping!

[Donm999]

Slightly light hearted but am mildly miffed.

DH has good form these days for just busting a nap out at random times and places. I end up getting peeved and then being made to feel like an unreasonable cow for being annoyed he’s sleeping.

Today’s scenario; DH wanted to go for a walk with a friend. It was only day friend could do so asked if I would mind taking our DD to her hobbies this morning. Usually we alternate so that each get a morning off a fortnight. But of course I said it was fine which it was to be honest.

We did the hobbies plus a couple of other bits. He went for his walk and catch up. All got back home around 3:30ish. DH then decides to lie on the floor of the lounge and basically dozes off. Have woken him up twice but he keeps falling back to sleep.

It’s now 6pm, just finished DDs dinner. I’ve been mummy all day whilst he’s had a day with his friend (fine and planned) and now a 2 hour nap (not planned and not fine!). Was hoping to have grabbed 30 mins to myself today but no chance.

So..,AIBU? Considering kicking or attacking with wet flannel 😫

If he usually naps or tries to swerve parenting I'd be annoyed. If it's pretty new I'd wonder what was causing it. Could be a health condition, iron deficiency, taking on too much at work, depression etc.

It's not normal to nap like that, on the floor in the middle of day? He must be exhausted to be able to sleep like that - there must be something going on. He needs to see the GP.

It would annoy me too, if he was napping while I did everything.

Nope been going on for at least last 5 years, although he’s always been more of a napper than me (14years together). Not depressed, no known health issues (apart from being over 40 with a young child which makes us all knackered!).

To be fair he is generally very hands on and does his share in most scenarios; this is just one which is annoying 🙄

He’s had bloods etc checked before and all was fine. I can prompt for gp visit again but he then gets defensive and says he’s just tired.

I kid you not - he can sleep ANYWHERE! At any time if tired.

My DH of 29 years has always been able to nap at the drop of a hat, even on a flight before we’ve even taken off!

That would drive me crazy. DH is also a napper, partially because he prowls the house all night long. When he is home, he is always lying down on the sofa, sometimes even at 8 in the morning, never sitting up, and drifting in and out of sleep, which only adds to the poor sleep pattern.

I am so repulsed by the mere sight of him lying on that sofa that I can't even be in the same room when he is in this position. We have a large home and other living spaces, otherwise I'd have probably left him over it. It's so ick.

Mine are older now, but can vividly recall DD's 5th birthday party, all the classmates, exhausting. Come home from the party, and he is already snoring on the sofa before DD and I even get our shoes off and there was still tons of unloading to be done with gifts and cake, etc. I was furious that day.

So yeah, you have a reason to be mad.

I had a kitchen floor nap today with DS but it was only 29 mins and it’s the first one ever. So I can’t condemn him too much, but a la a regular occurrence would be irritating.

My BIL is like this. Can sleep anywhere. We joke that he is like a cow and one day we will find him asleep standing up.

FIL is like this. If MIL did the same, their lives would fall apart and no one would eat.

Write off today and plan for tomorrow. You agree with him that you'll get a lie in, and you get to go out on your own for a few hours, even if that's just to sit and read your book or scroll through your phone in Costa.

An "unplanned nap"? Do naps need to be planned in advance in your household? No wonder he's exhausted with this level of micro management!

Does he snore and/or regularly wake up with headaches? These symptoms along eith excessive daytime sleepiness can be a sign of sleep apnea which increases the risk of lots of things including heart attacks

It really is worth reading up on this and getting checked out in case it is actually a health issue rather than immediately assuming laziness

Selfish. Head out today and do something nice for yourself.

Unless he’s usually useless at home I can’t believe you begrudge him a nap. An unplanned nap?? Like not one you have put in the family planner? How bizarre.

I have narcolepsy and the urge to sleep is so strong.
He doesn’t have a ridiculous amount of REM sleep does he? Or dream during very short naps?

Both my DH and I are nappers, always have been. We’ve got a 2yr old who still has bad nights or likes an early morning wake up and we work full time so sleep is sometimes thin on the ground and a weekend nap is highly sought after. That being said, I wouldn’t have an issue waking him up after an hour and saying “hey, can we swap I’ve been on duty all day and I’m shattered”. If I’d woken him up intentionally and he dozed back off I’d be angry but wouldn’t stand for it - I’d just keep at him until he stood up and returned to the world. I also take objection to sleeping in the communal areas because it makes you feel like you need to be quiet/stop the child jumping around etc so I will always send him away if he’s napping. Napping on the sofa whilst I parent fills me with rage in a way him going to the bedroom for a nap doesn’t.

My friends cousin could sleep anywhere he fell asleep once against a speaker in a pub and the band were playing very loud music and he didn't flinch. Turned out he has pernicious anaemia, so now gets injection every 12 weeks to keep him awake.