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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Regretting change in work hours...

33 replies

thenarnianna · 10/05/2025 09:44

I am in such a conundrum and feeling so panicky.

Two years ago I became part time. I had asked to work three days but was given two and a half as a compromise. I found this very difficult for various reasons, but mainly because I found the person I was job sharing with was a bit difficult. After several months I hinted/lightly asked if I could drop the half day, but was told no for various reasons.

So I made peace with my hours. I appreciated the extra money and gave myself a goal to save for to motivate me. It got a lot better.

Fast forward to now, and last week my boss offered me two days as she remembered I wasn't happy. She said to let her know asap. I was pleased and formally accepted. Then I found out that my job share person was moving department and they have put out an advert for the other three days.

Now a week has gone by and I've slowly regretted my decision more and more. I feel sick and panicky. I will be losing £350 a month. The goal I was saving for will now be completely unattainable. And hearing that the main problem with my hours (the person I was sharing with) has actually gone, has made me not actually want to drop my hours anymore.

It all happened so quickly and I felt pressured to make a decision without really considering it and without knowing the full information. Now the adverts out and they've had 20ish people come to look round. So I would be mortified to go to my boss and say I changed my mind.

Am I being ridiculous? I'm just so disappointed and upset. I'd made peace with my hours and would have been very happy to carry on if I'd known the other person was leaving. Ugh. Most of all, I'm just gutted about the money. I'd really got my heart set on the thing I was saving for...

OP posts:
IslandsAround · 10/05/2025 09:46

Just have a further discussion with your manager. Or apply for the 3 day a week job!

nottheplan · 10/05/2025 09:50

As pp says I'm sure your work will take you up on the offer of doing 3 days if you explain the situation

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 10/05/2025 09:50

You might not like the me job share in any case.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 10/05/2025 09:51

nottheplan · 10/05/2025 09:50

As pp says I'm sure your work will take you up on the offer of doing 3 days if you explain the situation

I'm guessing that they initially declined the request for 3 days because it would be hard to recruit a job share for only 2 days. This may still apply.

ButterCrackers · 10/05/2025 09:52

Apply for the three days. You should get the job.

LlynTegid · 10/05/2025 09:53

Have the conversation, hope your manager is a person you can have one with.

EBearhug · 10/05/2025 09:54

Speak to your manager. Say you might be willing to do 3 days if they can only find someone who wants to to two. Give them a bit more flexibility.

Didimum · 10/05/2025 09:55

You’re not being ridiculous for regretting it, but you’re being ridiculous for not speaking to your manager about the 3 days or applying for it. Were they aware of why you found the job difficult? It seems like you have issues speaking up at work – that will never serve you well.

thenarnianna · 10/05/2025 09:58

Thank you for the replies. I do find it very hard to speak up at work and find my manager tricky sometimes.

The big issue about talking to my manager is that they have already advertised the role! They've had so many people look round for it! Probably had applications too. I would be wasting everyone's time. I feel so embarrassed about that.

OP posts:
JDM625 · 10/05/2025 09:59

It doesn't sound like your boss gave you very long to make a decision.

There is no harm in asking about the 3 days or even suggesting a hybrid type thing with the new person. So you each work 5 days a fortnight, 3 days 1 week, then 2 days then next etc.

You'll never know if you don't ask your boss.

MuggleMe · 10/05/2025 10:00

Could you ask the manager to state that 2.5 is available when he makes the offer. They may prefer it.

thenarnianna · 10/05/2025 10:00

The person I currently work with is very popular so I've never been honest about why I found the two and a half days tricky. We are expected to have a long hand over chat each Wednesday and she's just so different to me.

OP posts:
delightfuldweeb · 10/05/2025 10:01

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 10/05/2025 09:51

I'm guessing that they initially declined the request for 3 days because it would be hard to recruit a job share for only 2 days. This may still apply.

This is likely to be the case

SummerHouse · 10/05/2025 10:02

I would say to boss, "I've been thinking... And while I will certainly do two days as agreed, I would actually prefer two and a half. I mention it now as once you offer the job they might prefer two and a half so it gives an extra option. Sorry for the about turn. I was a little hasty in my decision. But as said will go to two days as agreed if that's what's decided."

thenarnianna · 10/05/2025 10:02

JDM625 · 10/05/2025 09:59

It doesn't sound like your boss gave you very long to make a decision.

There is no harm in asking about the 3 days or even suggesting a hybrid type thing with the new person. So you each work 5 days a fortnight, 3 days 1 week, then 2 days then next etc.

You'll never know if you don't ask your boss.

Yeah it was all just so sudden and I said yes because it's what I had been wishing for in the past as a way to get out of my current situation.

I wish I had known the original three day job that I had wanted was going to become available.

OP posts:
thenarnianna · 10/05/2025 10:03

delightfuldweeb · 10/05/2025 10:01

This is likely to be the case

That's true, I guess they would get more applicants for a three day job than a two day job...

OP posts:
Marble10 · 10/05/2025 10:04

Doesn’t sound like your manager was aware that you had issues with the other person, rather than just wanting to work less hours. Unfortunately these things come round and bite us 😖
It’s definitely easier recruiting for 3 days a week job share rather than 2.5 days so I’d imagine that’s why you’ve been offered to drop down to 2.
Your going to have to talk to your manager - or just put up with it

delightfuldweeb · 10/05/2025 10:04

Two days a week can be really tricky to fill. So at the moment your workplace have the perfect solution by you taking the two days and them being able to advertise the more attractive three day a week role.
But that shouldn’t stop you talking to your manager or even applying for the three day job. That seems a bit ridiculous to me but needs must. Good luck, OP.

thenarnianna · 10/05/2025 10:08

Thank you all the replies. It's good to get it off my chest. The only answer is that I suck it up, or speak to my manager. I just hate making a U-turn when she thought she was helping me, and I hate making things difficult. If the advert hadn't gone up, I definitely would have spoken to my manager.

OP posts:
Gloschick · 10/05/2025 10:15

You originally asked for 3 days. If you don't feel comfortable mentioning the issue you had with a colleague, I would just say that you preferred working full days so agreed to the 2 days, but had your known 3 days was also a possibility you would have gone for that.

I would acknowledge that you have left it a bit late, but outline all the possible arrangements you would be happy with, as that gives your employer more flexibility with who they would recruit. It may well be they recruit someone who would like 2/3 days on alternate weeks.

fatgirlswims · 10/05/2025 10:16

They haven’t been transparent with you at all have they?

you can email and say “due to a change in personal circumstances and from a financial POV you would like to retain 2.5 days or take the 3 days that has been advertised.

is it teaching?

Deboh · 10/05/2025 10:18

Op you’re worrying far too much, just speak to your manager.

SwanOfThoseThings · 10/05/2025 10:18

SummerHouse · 10/05/2025 10:02

I would say to boss, "I've been thinking... And while I will certainly do two days as agreed, I would actually prefer two and a half. I mention it now as once you offer the job they might prefer two and a half so it gives an extra option. Sorry for the about turn. I was a little hasty in my decision. But as said will go to two days as agreed if that's what's decided."

I agree with this. Tell your boss before she starts interviewing that you would be open to 2.5 or 3 days - which would offer more flexibility to prospective candidates.

MiniCoopers · 10/05/2025 10:28

Your boss didn’t offer this thinking it would help you. They offered it knowing the other person was leaving and it’s much easier to fill a 3 day role than 2.5.

fatgirlswims · 10/05/2025 10:48

MiniCoopers · 10/05/2025 10:28

Your boss didn’t offer this thinking it would help you. They offered it knowing the other person was leaving and it’s much easier to fill a 3 day role than 2.5.

This is my view too.