AIBU to expect RSVP to a year 6 birthday party

[Fireflybaby]

My DS is year 6 and he wanted one last get together with his close friends from school for his birthday before they all go to various secondary schools.
So I organised a "party" at an laser tag activity centre. It's at the beginning of half term on Saturday. Sent invites through my son end of last month.
Most kids invited told my son they're coming but I haven't received one text from parents.
Is it now not the norm to send a text thanking for invite and accepting it or declining it?
I always do when DS gets invited.

I think at year 6 even when I was that age some 20+ years ago we’d just confirm to the friend verbally. I wouldn't be expecting a response from parents.

Yes, I would expect that. Did you put RSVP on the invitation? (Not that it should matter really).

Not the norm any more. Much as I think it should be. Too much like what I have been advised is the norm in the US for non-responses to invitations.

At that age the kids do it.

I would do a group WhatsApp and text them all asking for confirmation. Make it easy for them. They may have mislaid the invite with your number etc.

Recently sent out invites for my child's party (much younger than yours) Had 3 non replies. Texted them assuming they weren't coming. No - all would love to come 🙄

All invitations here are through whatsapp. Those invitations may have not made it home. I would just text the parents.

Please don't do the WhatsApp
They are year 6.... In a few months they will be in secondary.
Honestly. I had the same. Dd arranged numbers in class. I had 2 texts. On the day dd was right. All turned up.

I am also awful. I say to DD to confirm with party child to confirm.

The worst thing is that your party will be mega expensive so you will want to know. But that is a good party and not the usual so don't worry they will all be there

Surely the parents have time for a quick whatsapp to confirm? Rude not to. They'll come a time when the situation is reversed.

I think it’s rude to not reply. My boy is dyslexic and not good with admin type things.

Year 6 was the year I got totally fed up doing birthday parties! Hardly anyone replied so I assumed it was going to be a small crowd, everyone turned up, no parents stayed and I suddenly had 12 hyperactive boisterous boys to wrangle on my own. Never again!

I’d assume everyone is going to turn up, but if you need to confirm final numbers to the venue then chase people up.

Well if that's the norm, then that's fine. I would prefer to know from parents themselves but I do get it.
I don't have the parents numbers to create a WhatsApp group to ask.
Due to covid there were a few years when parties were not a thing, so I get things change.
I did put an rsvp with my number on the invites.
So I guess we'll just see how many will turn up then :)

You sent the invites to the kids through your son.

don’t see any problem with the kids doing it?

They are the ones invited.

Some of the parents may not even know.

I would expect a reply from parents and would be chasing them up if I had their contact numbers. I appreciate people saying that they are year 6, but you have booked a paid for activity and really need to know if people are definitely coming and not just taking the word of a child. Children will often say they are going to things if asked, but I assume they will have parents driving them or dropping them off or who at least want to know where they are! Children might not be aware of other plans (e.g. start of half term so holidays might be booked) and if they do need a lift to the laser place then this might also depend on the parent being able to get them there (no commitments to another child, or whether they are trusted to walk/get a bus by themselves).

At that age I think many of the kids won't have actually told the parents it's an invitation with an RVSP, they just say 'oh we' re all going with Johnny to laser tag Saturday '. If they were paper invites I am surprised though that not one parent found it scrunched up in the school bag and replied

This year for my year 5 son’s party I didn’t write RSVP, I wrote ‘PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE COMING OR NOT!!’

The two who for the past 5 years have never RSVPd but still shown up, let me know straight away that yes they intended to come. So I can only assume they don’t know what RSVP means!

If I had asked for an RSVP then I would expect a reply. 10/11 year olds are not reliable organisers of their own parties, especially when a lot of money is involved and confirmation of numbers is needed! Just because a child says they are coming doesn’t mean they are. Parents might have other plans that child doesn’t know or has forgotten about.

Yes this a is a good point, Be direct. ‘Please let me know if your child is coming so I include them for party bag/food/cake purposes and I have accurate numbers for the venue’.

I’d expect the parents to RSVP

If you are paying for the set number of kids invited I would text parents or set up a whatsapp group confirming times and dates etc and send them waiver info.
14 year old and 12 year old and both had large parties in year 6 and I did confirm as did many other parents. I can’t understand why it would be an issue to shoot a quick breezy message.

Yes I would expect the parents to text you 100%. Can you get your son to say something in an off hand sort of way?? Like "can your mum drop my mum a text, in case I forget to tell her?". Assuming your half term is the last full week in May though, I think it's still quite early for replies, unless you specifically put a super early date to confirm on. I guess kids may have said to their parents' "I'd love to go to X's party" and may be saying they would like to go to your son, that doesn't mean their parents have sorted the inns and outs of half term plans yet!