If you are single and in your 40s

[ThatNimblePeer]

What do you do in the evenings? I feel like I’m past the ‘going out’ age and I was never that into it anyway, but I just cannot take another evening at home on my phone or watching TV. I’m so bored. My friends are all in relationships.

YABU - stay in
YANBU - there is another way

Depends if you're a hobby person or like the gym?

Gardening and word puzzles. I'm so cool. 😂

I do quite a few evening classes. Huge variability in terms of how sociable they are, but you usually learn something interesting.

Go to the gym, take an exercise class, do a hobby, go for a walk, cook a nice elaborate meal…the possibilities are endless!

Join an evening class/activity if you want to be out and social.

Invite people for dinner/drinks. Married people like to see their friends too!

Or indoors....paint, knit, do a jigsaw, a crossword, read, have a really good bath, go to bed early.

What are you interested in? What do you like doing? I’m a similar age and have friends/acquaintances/colleagues the same age, some single some not.
Amongst us we do the following:

Gym
Swim
Pilates/yoga
Dance class
Pottery
Creative writing
Swing dance
Stand up comedy
Story telling
Kick boxing
Have horses and spend every spare minute at the stables
Dog agility
Book club
Burlesque

I’m also lucky enough to live in a place where there’s loads going on; lots of talks and film nights etc in the week; guided walks, exhibitions, pop ups etc etc.

Come to the climbing wall. Open til 10pm

What sparks your interest? Could you get a dog so you have company and take them for walks every night? You can look at local groups, activities, volunteering to join to get you out an evening or so a week. There are also numerous hobbies you can do or try to find some younger friends who may like things likes games nights. Is there an interest you dropped that you could restart? Anything like knitting, crotcheting, puzzles, origami, drawing, painting, paint by numbers, learn magic tricks etc. Reading of course is an easy solo hobby and you can visit your local library. What about maybe fostering cats or dogs if you don't want to own one. There is so much you can do.

I did what I do now. I'll be 60 in June.
I go to the cinema, theatre, gigs, exhibitions, book tours, gym, whatever catches my interest. Not always on my own.
If there is a football match on I'll have a running text conversation with my son. He tries to do the same when there is an F1 race on but I ignore that.

A few times a year we will go to an athletics meeting and occasionally a basketball game.
Weekend days for me tend to be quite busy so I don't mind a TV evening. That said I'm going to the cinema on Saturday.

I do have an allotment so this time of year I spend a couple of evening a week there until dusk. On occasion there may be a takeaway and bottle of wine involved.

I'm learning to be a Dungeon Master as well as doing all the housework/laundry.

I'd love to exercise more but the gym expensive around here and walking/running alone is not really an option for safety reasons.

I'm in two Amateur Dramatics groups that rehearse 2 nights a week each and often have social events.

I do tap, jazz and lyrical dance classes on another night.

I work late one night (boarding school).

I'd be way too selfish to give any of that up for a husband and children!

I’m not single, but evenings I do these activities without my husband. I don’t do them all in the same week…..

Agility with my dog, pickleball (sport), competitive obedience training with my dog, language class, book club, dinner with friends, bingo at the local church with random and often quite amusing prizes from the supermarket, netball.

Thanks everyone - some good suggestions here. I’m in the countryside which doesn’t help. I need to move.

Countryside here. I get in the car and go to the things that interest me.

I’d gotten into outdoor swimming at leisure centre no. 2 at least 3 times a week. Would fill in for an hour at least until past 8pm.

I meet a man also in his 40’s at the pool and the last swim I had just before Easter we were swimming up and down together, although his hygiene was a lot to be desired which was a great pity. Everyone said he lost his stammer around me.

Other evenings I’d be off out to the other leisure centre doing classes. 😊

So many questions...

What I do on weekday evenings:

Knit
Read
Take a sewing class
Pilates
Yoga
Running club
Watch crap on TV
Take long baths
Hang out on the sofa with my cats

Things I do now DC is away at uni:

Go to the gym three evenings a week.

Meet friends for drinks or dinner.

Stay longer at work and/or go to networking or professional development events (I deeply and genuinely love my job, I’d do it even if I was a millionaire so it’s no hardship).

Lots of cooking.

Read lots of books. I’m in two book clubs, one virtual (fiction) and one monthly in-person (a fairly niche area of nonfiction!)

Studying for an MA—halfway through!

I’m on the Board of Trustees for an arts nonprofit.

I’m in a virtual Wim Hof community and do Zoom breath work sessions and cold water immersion at home.

Research. Tons of stuff interests me. At the moment I’m in several deep rabbit holes: how women’s suffragists and the abolitionists worked together in mid 1800s America to further both goals; city design trends and population density around the world; some spirituality/woo things; and various methods of organisation to try to streamline the more tedious parts of my life!

Online window shopping, just as good as buying things most of the time.

I’ve recently started learning blackwork embroidery.

Planning holidays and city break itineraries. Love doing that!

Go to friends quite frequently, enjoy peaceful evening walks, watch films, hang around forums, read the news.

I must do something more educative like learn cards. I think this every time I see someone playing cards in a film.

I still go out - just not to the pub. (I'm in my fifties though). I go to gigs, to theatre, to comedy, to the cinema. Last Sunday I went to one of those 'an audience with' type events, I went to see a singer-songwriter the night before. Sometimes I'm go with friends, but more often I'll go alone. Tonight I'm going to see a play in a different city, so I'm planning to find somewhere to eat beforehand too.

I go for walks and bike rides. Visit friends and family. I don't go out to eat at much as I used to, as I'm calorie counting at the moment.

When at home I cook, read, spend too much time online. Occasionally I'll do a craft activity.

I honestly love being single (people here don't seem to think that's a thing, but it is). I've got so much freedom to go where I want when I want, I don't have to compromise on what I go to. And I don't spend a fortune on it. Tickets to the gig this coming Friday were £11.50.

I'm just into my 50s so I suppose that still counts.

I started up a little sideline business and do work on that a few nights a week. Keeps me busy and I earn a few extra pennies.

Otherwise I cook, hang out with my dog, go in store shopping rather than order groceries online.
Do some gym sessions either at gym or at home.
Potter around in the garden as I've planted some veg.
Change up things in the house.
I do also binge watch some series though at times.

I can't think that I get too bored really. But if you are newly single and/or the dc have recently flown the best, you just need to find your new normal.

And no doubt you are able to do this more peacefully now, it's just an adjustment.

Reading - I'm in 2 book clubs - 1 at work and 1 I saw in the village newsletter that I went along to. I used to go to the gym, but don't have the childcare (or the money) to go any more.

A friend volunteers with the local scouts (which also involves a few weekends away camping).

Another friend is in a rock choir singing group.

Another friend volunteers with a "[place name] in bloom" group, maintaining local flower beds and planters in her town.

I guess it depends what you're into and whether you want to meet people in the evening or just have something to do.

Meet-Up website and online dating might also be worth a go? Your local church might also be worth exploring (there is a lot in my village that is centred around the church, fundraisers, fetes, fun days, choir groups, coffee mornings, bake sales. Not everyone involved is religious, it's just a central point with enthusiastic people who like organising stuff).

Currently I try not to throw up from chemo 🙄😂.
but before this aggravating turn of events, I did a few evening classes here and there. I also signed up for online learning classes.
I enjoy long drives exploring roads I’ve never been down in my local area in the months where we have more sunlight (I do live quite rurally though and appreciate this is probably less fun in central London or similar!).

I’m in a ladies walking group, that’s 2 evenings a week and sometimes meet for extra things. I catch up with old friends for meals a lot, and the other evenings I just browse the web and watch TV. Never lonely or bored.

I’m very sorry about the chemo
@TheOriginalEmu, wishing you well. The driving idea is intriguing - I love driving country roads!

Thank you everyone for all the good suggestions