Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Kids out Late with Dad

21 replies

LIzo1234 · 09/05/2025 21:34

This isn't a biggy, but I just want to get some perspective on this for myself... My partner has been taking our two boys (9 & 12) out to the park after dinner every night this week. This is partly because our eldest really wants to do some exercise. This is obviously a good thing and Im chuffed they're getting out in the fresh air and enjoying the lovely evenings. However, they've both been a bit poorly - in fact, they've both been off school today, and I'd rather they got back at a reasonable time to get to bed.

Tonight DH said he'd get them back around 7.30ish but they got home at 8.30 and they're still awake now. This keeps happening and I'm getting frustrated that they don't get home earlier. I tried bringing it up tonight and he just said "It's not a problem, is it?" Which I find so frustrating, as it feels dismissive and we ended up having an argument in front of the kids. Not a massive one, but still.

On the one hand, it's good they're living life to the full but I just would like to compromise and for them to be home slightly earlier. DH thinks I need to be more laid back about it - but that makes me just feel the opposite! This is quite a common thread for us...

The other caveat to this is that my eldest is ND so he needs loads of time to wind down and get to sleep and on some school nights they haven't been back till after 9 and then his bedtime gets really late.

Any thoughts... ?

OP posts:

Springadorable · 09/05/2025 21:39

If they aren't sick then fine. If they have been ill enough to be off school then they are too ill to be playing late in the park in my book.

CaptainFuture · 09/05/2025 21:42

You take them to the park and bring them back at an 'acceptable' time?

Temporaryname158 · 09/05/2025 21:43

Agree that if they are too ill to go to school, they are too ill to go to the park.

other nights however, I don’t think 8.30 is late to return home for a 9 and 12 year old. It will be doing them good going to the park and how lovely their dad is wanting to spend time playing with them. This is a none issue.

my 7 and 10 year old come home at 8 from a club once a week. 8.30 for a 9 and 12 year old is fine

StormCloud52 · 09/05/2025 21:54

Surely it’s completely normal for a 12 year old to be awake at 9:30pm? Especially on a Friday.

beAsensible1 · 09/05/2025 21:58

8.30 is fine for 9 &12. He’s getting them
moving , developing some good habits and away from the screens of an evening time.

it’s also an opportunity for them to chat, bond and open up in indirect ways.

they will find a rhythm and maybe get the ND one into a shower before bed to help him unwind if he needs.

it’s ok. It’s different to what you may do, but it’s perfectly reasonable.

he’s their father let him parent.

Croquembouchiere · 09/05/2025 21:58

I think this sounds nice. My dh does this too and I think it's great for the kids. Dh likes it as well as he doesn't get to see the kids in the week otherwise. As long as they aren't too tired in the morning it's fine.

MrsPinkSky · 09/05/2025 21:58

They're 9 and 12.

If they're getting up for school on time then leave them alone.

When you take them to the park, then you can have them back at a time of your choosing.

Temporaryanonymity · 09/05/2025 22:00

It’s sounds like a great thing to do, particularly in the summer months and it’s so light and sunny.

cadburyegg · 09/05/2025 22:02

I don’t see the issue, they’re not toddlers anymore. Surely this is just what happens as kids get older. My 10yo is still up reading

BethDuttonYeHaw · 09/05/2025 22:08

StormCloud52 · 09/05/2025 21:54

Surely it’s completely normal for a 12 year old to be awake at 9:30pm? Especially on a Friday.

Absolutely.

My 12 yr olds doesn’t even go to bed till 10pm.

Mandylovescandy · 09/05/2025 22:09

I would find it a bit late for my just turned 9 year old. We are usually finishing up stories in bed by then. Every now and then or weekend I would be fine with it (like when I was camping with them last weekend) but not as a regular thing on a school night. Also ND and the time required just to get through getting changed and brushing teeth would make bedtime super late and once or twice wouldn't impact but regularly he would be tired and have a negative impact. Agree it is nice he is getting them outside for exercise though

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 09/05/2025 22:11

The timings wouldn't be an issue for me, but I wouldn't want kids going to the park if they had been too sick for school.

sunshineandshowers40 · 09/05/2025 22:36

It sounds like a nice way for him to spend time with the DC. My youngest (12) is up till 10pm most week nights although when his siblings were that age they were in bed earlier.

MummaMummaMumma · 09/05/2025 22:39

7.30 for a 9 and 12 year old is late?
What time do they go to bed?
My kids are younger and their after school clubs finish later than 7.30 almost every night.

Hankunamatata · 09/05/2025 22:41

If they are too sick for school why on earth are they not in bed instead of the park??

steff13 · 09/05/2025 23:29

I think it's fine. But if they were too sick to go to school, they probably should have stayed home.

maximalistmaximus · 09/05/2025 23:43

Everything that is wrong with 2020s parenting.

stichguru · 09/05/2025 23:47

What evidence have you actually got that they are going to bed too late? If they are difficult to wake at a reasonable time for school then yes, that is the reason your DH needs to get them home earlier. If they aren't then there's not a problem. When you wrote this at 20:30 would have been an hour before my now 12 year old went to bed as a 9 year old and an hour and half before he goes to bed now as a 12 year old. Given it's actually not a school night, maybe even longer. Obviously they are your children, I don't know them, but unless there is evidence in their behaviour that they are getting too little sleep, you seem to be fussing about them going to bed at very reasonable/slightly early times. Even if your ND 12 year old is not back until 21:15 is 45 mins to an hour not time enough for them to wind down?

MrsPinkSky · 09/05/2025 23:52

Hankunamatata · 09/05/2025 22:41

If they are too sick for school why on earth are they not in bed instead of the park??

Edited

The OP says 'they've been a bit poorly'.

Perhaps they felt better and the fresh air and exercise did them good.

Not everyone who's a bit poorly needs to be in bed.

BlondiePortz · 10/05/2025 00:20

Why is it a problem and to be perfectly honest who made you boss?

Is there any actual issue caused by it or have you made it up in your head?

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 10/05/2025 05:07

Who did the parenting when they were off school sick?

Flip