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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Lie About His Whereabouts

9 replies

Charlysunnysky · 09/05/2025 10:05

I have receptionist duties as part of my job. A lady came to see one of the managers yesterday, and when I told him he started laughing with the other manager in his office, which was right next to where she was stood in the foyer. He told the other manager she a bunny boiler and they kept giggling while he was making actions like a noose round his neck, and said to me 'Say I'm on the phone'. I mouthed 'She knows you're here now, what else can I do?' He shrugged, sighed and laughed and I took that resigned look to mean 'ok, go on'. I felt I had no choice but to invite her in anyway, as they were laughing, and he has a distinct laugh, that she would know. It was totally unprofessional, and saying he's on the phone would only make her wait.

This morning he was in a very sombre mood, and said to me 'I don't appreciate you inviting people in when I've said no'. I explained why I had let her in, and told him that it's me having to tell lies for him, when it would be obvious he was in. And if the office layout was different, it would be possible to avoid people we don't want to speak to without seeming unprofessional, but as it stands it wasn't possible, because I explained that they were laughing.

I also explained that I have been blamed before, when another manager 2 years ago told me to say he wasn't there when someone called to se to him. He then came through to speak to her as I was taking her details, having told her he wasn't in. She turned on me and said I'm a liar. He normally works at Head office, so she just made my life difficult for the few months after as she had a stall near the office, and often used to say loudly 'Here, she is, the LIAR!!'. They terminated her licence in the end, but it made me not want to put myself in difficult positions like this.

I’m paid 25% of these managers salaries, and if they are being unprofessional, it seems to come back on me. Am I being unreasonable to expect them to behave professionally, and not ask me to lie when it’s obvious?

OP posts:
BlueskyCherrytrees · 09/05/2025 10:09

I’m not quite clear who this woman was or why he didn’t want to speak to her but sure the easiest thing to say is “ I’m sorry he’s not available, can I take a message and ask him to get back to you”

it doesn’t require you to lie at all.

Brefugee · 09/05/2025 10:11

you are not being unreasonable to tell him you won't lie for him - especially when it is obvious.

but as pp said, all you do is say "x isn't available, would you like to leave a message?" That is all.

however. There is an issue around what they were saying and laughing about and someone needs to put a stop to that, especially in an area where any visitors could hear it. Hugely unprofessional (not to say misogynistic)

Haffdonga · 09/05/2025 10:13

Sorry, John's not available at the moment.
Or
He's going in to a meeting. Would you like to leave a message?

No lies needed, surely?

CrashSlapHurrah · 09/05/2025 10:15

Haffdonga · 09/05/2025 10:13

Sorry, John's not available at the moment.
Or
He's going in to a meeting. Would you like to leave a message?

No lies needed, surely?

Yes, this. It's a completely ordinary part of a receptionist's job, so I don't know why the OP is getting tied into knots about it.

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/05/2025 10:17

A Receptionist’s job essentially includes “lying” sometimes if their manager has indicated they don’t want to take a call or receive an unannounced visitor. Your manager may have been in the building, but he could have been on his way into a meeting or about to have another client visiting. “John isn’t available right now and doesn’t take visitors without an appointment, please send an email requesting one and he or his PA will get back to you” is a standard stock response to give. I’d be somewhat annoyed also if our Receptionist wasn’t gate keeping calls and visits.

BlueskyCherrytrees · 09/05/2025 10:18

CrashSlapHurrah · 09/05/2025 10:15

Yes, this. It's a completely ordinary part of a receptionist's job, so I don't know why the OP is getting tied into knots about it.

It doesn’t sound like the manager is a particularly nice man, but I agree gatekeeping is a key part of a receptionist’s role.

CrashSlapHurrah · 09/05/2025 10:26

BlueskyCherrytrees · 09/05/2025 10:18

It doesn’t sound like the manager is a particularly nice man, but I agree gatekeeping is a key part of a receptionist’s role.

Agreed -- but fending off unscheduled callers is part of a receptionist's job, regardless of whether the people she's 'protecting' are nice or not. And regardless of whether they're former girlfriends or clients who don't have an appointment.

WhateverMate · 09/05/2025 10:31

I agree with others, you should've just told her he's unavailable and you'll take a message.

My job sometimes includes gatekeeping access to managers, as you really do occasionally get some persistent pains in the arse!

Charlysunnysky · 09/05/2025 10:36

Thanks so much - I'll do that in future. I misread his response. I'm dealing with figures and data all day - I'm covering reception duties because my desk is closest to the foyer, and we are a small team now. I could probably do with a crash course in reception etiquette.

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