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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry about being left in charge of other people's kids at toddler group/??

43 replies

SmugColditz · 19/05/2008 13:02

I'm not talking about while the mum goes to the loo either!

We hold a toddler group, a very informal toddler group, in the upstrais of a church. On the other side is a preschool with about 30 children.

To arrange their 'numbers', one of the staff brings some children over from the preschool to play in the toddler group - usually the more boisterous ones so she can keep an eye on them - except she doesn't. She laft at 11am today to go to a meeting, leaving a 3 year old little girl on her own with a pack of mums. None of us are CRB checked, or paid or were even asked - she just left! She was gone for 25 minutes. Last week she brought 4 kids with her and was in and out of the room for 5 - 10 minutes at a time.

These aren't her kids - these kids belong to someone who thinks they are being looked after, and I suppose they are being looked after, but not by people who know the mum or the child. We do of course look after the children, but we could just get up and fuck off!

WWYD and AIBU anyway?

OP posts:
guitar · 19/05/2008 13:04

you go and speak to the preschool management team and tell them it is totally out of order, outrageous and if it happens again you will be contacting the LEA and Ofsted as well as refusing entry to the preschool

that is completely out of orderq

Weegle · 19/05/2008 13:07

as guitar said. Outrageous. If that was my child I would be furious, completely inadequate care.

GrapefruitMoon · 19/05/2008 13:07
  • thought this would be a rant about a mum ignoring her child whilst at toddler group!

YANBU - that is a totally outrageous thing to do - sounds like they are either exceeding the numbers allowed by OFSTEAD or are short-staffed. Either way, they are not dealing with it properly...

Original poster
SmugColditz · 19/05/2008 13:07

I think the preschool is affiliated to the church though - in which case we are using 'their' other room.

But we pay £1.50 a session and while I would be happy to do some childcare if the group was free, it's not. It's supposed to be a relaxing group for small children and their mothers to wind down, not for rambunctious 4 year olds to scuttle about knocking the babies over.

But as we use their hall, I don't really know where we stand. It would be awful to lose the room.

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/05/2008 13:13

Completely agree, this is not a one off and therefore needs to be either brought to the attention of the manager or if she is already involved the chair of the comittee. If they are both aware then ofsted input needs to be sought urgently, as if they are cutting corners over such basics what other areas would give cause for concern

It is entirely inappropriate to leave children in their care, FWIW as a memeber of the comitte I have to be CRB checked despite having little or no contact with the children ( my dd is due to start next term!!)Most preschools are volunatary so presumming this is "not for profit".....

Original poster
SmugColditz · 19/05/2008 13:13

Is it illegal to even nip out of the room leaving the children in our care then?

OP posts:
GrapefruitMoon · 19/05/2008 13:14

I think the fact that the preschool is connected to the church is neither here nor there - they are still bound by the same rules as any other similar establishment. can understand perhaps that they might need to use the room that the toddler group is using at the same time, but they can't just dump the kids there and expect what effectively are strangers to look after them...

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/05/2008 13:15

Also normally toddlers have an upper age limit ours is 3so they move to the pre school tyo prevent precisely those problems babies being knocked over older ones being bored...

Wouldn't have thought the toys and activities would be practicularly ideal either....

guitar · 19/05/2008 13:15

doesn't matter - it is inappropriate and faling in a duty of care - the pre-school is funded either by parents or the government - you MUST tell them

it is similar to them taking 4 children out of class and accosting a stranger in the street to look after them whilst they disappear for 25 minutes

how dare they?

Original poster
SmugColditz · 19/05/2008 13:17

I had already had words with the woman (no young slip either) about a little girl getting out and standing in the corridor crying, while she (the adult) was chatting. I saw the girl get out but I completely failed to get the woman's attention, and had to fetch the child myself.

The thing is, we don't want her to come to the toddler group. She seems to forget we're not staff, we aren't extra eyes so she can have a break, and also we have a nice thing going with the tea and biscuits and I don't want the kids to be restricted to fruit, which is what she keeps trying to do. We bring our own biscuits in FFS!

OKAAAAY now I'm getting really petty

OP posts:
Sidge · 19/05/2008 13:17

That's outrageous!!

Surely it's equivalen to a childminder popping down to the shops and leaving the kids with a neighbour?

I bet Ofsted would be interested to know about this.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/05/2008 13:17

I a parent has entrusted the care of a child to the pre school then yes it is effectively breaking ofsted rules ( not sure about illeagal) but they would have the power to take action against the pre school for something so serious

guitar · 19/05/2008 13:18

who is legally responsible for the children? that's the only question you must ask - at a mother and toddlers the parent is responsible for their own child - the school is responsible for the pre-school children if they are not there they are not fulfilling their role - so if a boisterous 4 year old falls over and hurts itself, you do not have the right to put on a plaster or give pain relief

you can speak to pre-shool management nicely in terms of concerned of legalities and risk of harm, not trained or CRB checked, please can you investigate and try to avoid it happening in future

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/05/2008 13:18

If a

guitar · 19/05/2008 13:19

where did it all start with the school bringing children over? that is very odd!

Original poster
SmugColditz · 19/05/2008 13:19

I have a sneaking suspicion the management know and don't reallly care.

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/05/2008 13:22

Just out of interest who runs the toddler group is it mums or do they supply a member of staff..... this doesn't make a difference in the circumstances you describe tho'

Original poster
SmugColditz · 19/05/2008 13:23

Well, they run a creche in there from 11.30, and the woman who brings the children over is in charge of it. So she now still brings the children over, but while she is setting the things for the creche up, there are children running around unattended and she often isn't in the room - she's pottering in the kitchen, or downstairs doing other things. I have a good mind to just stop going because actually I can't handle the confrontation but this Monday morning group is a bit of a lifeline for me and I'd hate to lose it.

The time that she brought and ignored 4 kids I nearly exploded with pent up frustration because I am not very good at tact - I either fume or explode! I wanted to leave, which would have meant leaving a grandmother and her grandson with 4 extras she didn't know.

should I call ofsted then?

OP posts:
guitar · 19/05/2008 13:24

what time does toddler group finish?

Original poster
SmugColditz · 19/05/2008 13:25

Well it used to be one of the mums, but this member of staff has started taking over, bringing fruit and decaf coffee, so I don't know if she is actually 'supposed' to be there.

OP posts:
guitar · 19/05/2008 13:25

just tell them they can come in after you've finished and vacated but that you feel it is out of order for what is happening at the moment to continue and see what they say

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/05/2008 13:26

If you think does that include the comittee or the paid staff (big difference), if both are aware then a call to ofsted is not out of order....

to put the boot on the other foot if your child was one of those left in the care of someone whose background you had no idea of and they did not know you child allergies behaviours etc, what would you want for them..

I really do believe this is an ofsted problem, although I would be prepared to give the preschool the benifit of the doubt and contact them first

Original poster
SmugColditz · 19/05/2008 13:27

Toddler group finishes at 11.30, but it's really informal and we go when we feel like it. If it's a nice day we scrap it and bugger off to the park.

OP posts:
DorisIsAPinkDragon · 19/05/2008 13:30

FWIW our pre school also runs the toddler group they provide a member of staff to organise and circulate toys ( put paints away bring out jigsaws etc and do a song and staory session..... but they would never ever dream of bringing a preschool child to it!

CarGirl · 19/05/2008 13:32

I would think they are breaking ofsted regulations and if anything happened would face legal action so perhaps bring it their attention from a concerned for the point of view?

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