AIBU to think I'm being punished for being happy

Mexcitedfam · 08/05/2025 14:13

and I'm being blamed for the man driving into me

who by?

RocketPanda · 08/05/2025 14:15

I don't believe in Karma so no that's just bad luck.

Original poster

Bighouseinthecountry25 · 08/05/2025 14:17

Mexcitedfam · 08/05/2025 14:13

and I'm being blamed for the man driving into me

who by?

The man who drove into to, I was already overtaking parked cars and he tried to pass me instead of pulling in on his side or letting me reverse. It's going to end up 50/50 as I can't proof I had already started when it was clear, one time I wish my dashboard camera was working

OP posts:

lazycats · 08/05/2025 14:18

Karma doesn’t exist, so no

Echobelly · 08/05/2025 14:20

Sorry you're having such a tough time. I don't think it's karma, just sometimes everything happens at once.

We had an awful patch about 10 years ago with home sale falling through, general sale stress and expense, husband's job on its way out putting us at risk of being able to move at all in the foreseeable future, car getting written off... it was an 'annus horribilis' for sure and I think everyone gets a few. I hope happier times are ahead soon.

Mexcitedfam · 08/05/2025 14:26

Bighouseinthecountry25 · 08/05/2025 14:17

The man who drove into to, I was already overtaking parked cars and he tried to pass me instead of pulling in on his side or letting me reverse. It's going to end up 50/50 as I can't proof I had already started when it was clear, one time I wish my dashboard camera was working

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Why didn’t you stop then when you saw he was moving?

Mexcitedfam · 08/05/2025 14:27

No such thing as karma

this claim will pass, you’ll sort your car and then you’ll be mortgage free snd have a car.

as for risk of redundancy…. Might there be a decent payout?

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/05/2025 14:27

Things just happen. You pick up the pieces, and think about the resilient basis you have to deal with them. If there’s no proof you were the cause of the car accident, that’s what your insurer will find, and it will be a hassle but solvable. And perhaps with the proceeds of the claim, you can buy a new car more suited to your DS’s needs.

If there really was such a thing as karma or “the universe”, then surely they’ve got bigger fish to fry, dishing out good luck and remedies for people in war zones and famines, or to murderers, than ordinary people who’ve made their final mortgage payment and are happy about it?

Original poster

Bighouseinthecountry25 · 08/05/2025 14:28

Mexcitedfam · 08/05/2025 14:26

Why didn’t you stop then when you saw he was moving?

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I did stop, I was checking behind me and all around to see what my options were when he kept driving and hit my car on the side as slightly less room then he thought.

OP posts:

TomatoSandwiches · 08/05/2025 14:35

Try and see it as you have had some bad luck but at least you have the security of your home, that's one less worry to have.

Dotjones · 08/05/2025 14:36

It's not "karma" but down to probability. Most people are unhappy most of the time. If someone is in a good place it's likely that something (or several things) will put them back into the normal position of being unhappy.

What you have to do is look at it the other way round, that all these terrible things are happening to you now but there was a brief period where you were content with life.

That's all we can hope for really, the occasional fleeting moment where our lives aren't a total shit show. Remember that for some people they experience redundancy and car crashes AND their landlord is evicting them, they don't even have the opportunity for a moment of sunshine before the storm clouds gather again.

Mexcitedfam · 08/05/2025 14:43

Bighouseinthecountry25 · 08/05/2025 14:28

I did stop, I was checking behind me and all around to see what my options were when he kept driving and hit my car on the side as slightly less room then he thought.

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Presumably witnesses that you’d stopped? The car behind you?

HideousKinky · 08/05/2025 14:53

No you're not being punished.
You've just been unlucky

Jk987 · 08/05/2025 14:55

It would only be karma if you’ve done something bad. Paying off your mortgage is not bad.

MeltonInTheHeat · 08/05/2025 14:56

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/05/2025 14:27

Things just happen. You pick up the pieces, and think about the resilient basis you have to deal with them. If there’s no proof you were the cause of the car accident, that’s what your insurer will find, and it will be a hassle but solvable. And perhaps with the proceeds of the claim, you can buy a new car more suited to your DS’s needs.

If there really was such a thing as karma or “the universe”, then surely they’ve got bigger fish to fry, dishing out good luck and remedies for people in war zones and famines, or to murderers, than ordinary people who’ve made their final mortgage payment and are happy about it?

Edited

Yes this.

My maternal grandmother used to say whenever something nice happened; Don't enjoy it too much, it won't last'. She was quite a bitter joy--sucking person really. My mother has spent all her 75 years thinking she's not permitted to have any pleasure because karma will get her.

Don't be like that. Swings and roundabouts and all that! Enjoy the good. Deal with the bad.

Icexream · 08/05/2025 15:00

Life has ups and downs. You've had some ups and now a few downs, but nothing terrible when you're in a position of financial security, as you are.

Mostly happiness, through averagely normal adversity, is about attitude IMO.

KurtShirty · 08/05/2025 15:11

Single mum with sen teen, Debt and aggressive cancer here. Meant with kindness- Yabu

20YearsOuttaPractice · 08/05/2025 15:18

Are one of the cars on motability? If so can they not sort you out another WAV whilst yours is being repaired?

ThatCyanCat · 08/05/2025 15:19

Of course not, you're just having some bad luck., an up and a down. Sorry to hear it and remember that this too shall pass.

Augustus40 · 08/05/2025 15:28

I believe in karma but not about everything. Shit happens. Life is mainly a series of random occurrences.

CarmellaSopranosKitchen · 08/05/2025 15:33

No. Sometimes bad things happen. Well done on paying off your mortgage.

Someone2025 · 08/05/2025 15:46

Bighouseinthecountry25 · 08/05/2025 14:08

Last month dh and I paid off our mortgage and I thought we were in a good place.
Since then someone has crashed into both of our cars and I'm being blamed for the man driving into me. I'm at risk of redundancy. We don't have a car between us that can fit my ds wheelchair so everything is a hassle.
Am I being punished by the world for being too big for my boots? Is this reverse karma?

Just keep focusing on the fact that ….you have paid off your mortgage! 👏

ItGhoul · 08/05/2025 16:12

Of course you're not being punished for being happy. Everyone has good things and bad things happen to them throughout their lives. The timing is just arbitrary.

I'm sorry you're having a shit time at the moment and it can be a bit overwhelming when several bad things happen to coincide. But I think the way to look at it is to remind yourselves that it's still better than dealing with redundancy and a car problem AND having a mortgage to pay every month - so in way, if it was going to happen it's better that it happened when you were financially better off.

Hope things get sorted with both your job and your car very soon.

whitewineandsun · 08/05/2025 16:16

Why would bad karma hit you because you paid off your house? Karma doesn’t exist anyway.

Life is just being life. Ebbs and flows.

Berryslacks · 08/05/2025 18:28

@Bighouseinthecountry25 how was your childhood? The reason I ask is because I can be like you and it stems from my childhood. My parents were not unkind but anything that happened to you was always ‘your own fault’. My DH’s parents were the same. We often joke about it. The ‘too big for my boots’ also really resonates with me. It’s all a bit of a ‘pride before a fall’ attitude isn’t it? I recently had a similar conversation with my DH. I was feeling really happy that our house renovations were progressing well. Then I got ill and I am thinking is it something serious? All because I had dared be happy about my new home. It is totally irrational and unless it’s something you experience yourself not understandable to others. Ultimately we have to realise it’s all just coincidental. I hope things improve for you soon.