AIBU to be so so tired?

[ThreenagerCentral]

I’m trying to get an idea of whether this is normal to be expected tiredness, or whether I need to see a GP. Sometimes I worry I’m just making something out of nothing and other mums cope fine. I’d be really interested to know what you think.

I’m a single mum (no Dad on scene) and my son is 3. I work in education so I’m on my feet most of the day rushing around and it’s one of those jobs where there’s just not enough time. I have an additional responsibility at school so this also takes up emotional energy and time but I’m quite good at not bringing it home. So I’m on my feet all day rushing around. I get up at 5.30 and don’t stop until my son is in bed at 7.30pm. Quite standard for most parents though right?

I’m exhausted. I’m so tired that i have naps in the car where I can sneak them, for example I arrived at my son’s nursery 15 mins early yesterday so I slept before collecting him. I go to bed at 8/8.30 and am so tired I can’t keep on top of the house. I make sure there is clean clothes and the dishwasher is on but this is all I can do. At work I’m so tired I struggle to think and plan ahead, I’m constantly surprised by things that are entirely foreseeable because I’m just on survival mode, trying to get through to bedtime. At the weekend I can get an hour here and there for myself but for the most part I’m parenting my glorious energetic son, we’re out at the park or swimming.

So is this normal tiredness? Would you be this tired if you had my schedule?

IABU - this is normal tiredness, you just need to accept this is life

IANBU - this is not a normal level of tiredness

No wonder you’re exhausted. It’ll get easier as your boy gets older.

In the meantime, solidarity. Look after yourself. Take vitamins, and keep grabbing naps when you can. Sounds like you’re doing an amazing job all round.

Are there family members around who could have him for an afternoon on the weekend now and then?

I don’t think that’s normal even for your schedule, it’s the having to grab naps whenever that stands out to me. What time are you going to bed at night? Is child night waking at all?

YANBU but only if you have done investigations into it? If I were you, I take myself to the doctor and get full bloods done including my thyroid levels. And then go from there and see what your results look like once you can rule out anything underlying then I would start taking a multivitamin or tonic, magnesium etc. I don’t know what your diet is like, but perhaps have a look at that and see what you can do to eat better and believe it or not try exercise more. All of these factors can help with fatigue.

It sounds massively exhausting but a simple blood test would tell you more. Worth getting anything ruled out.

I think its normal to be so tired with such a busy life, as in I don't think you need worry about an underlying cause, as your circumstances are very likely responsible rather than your health. However that doesn't mean that being permanently exhausted isn't going to cause issues for your health. If you are regularly experiencing difficulty in thinking and planning and are going to sleep at odd times, it's a sign you need to find a way to slow down. I know it isn't easy, but reducing your workload is better than making yourself ill.

Hi OP, I was very similar to you, lone parent, working, very active child and felt so tired all the time. A couple of times I fell asleep at work, it was ridiculous. I went to the GP, had blood tests and was phoned the next day as my B12 was the lowest she’d seen. I had a course of them and now have them regularly. I still feel tired at times but it feels much more ‘normal’ and manageable. So I would definitely get checked out just to check there is nothing else going on.

Hmmm, it sounds like you have a full on day. However there are many people that get up that early, commute, have busy full time jobs, come home, cook tea, deal with the kids and then only have an hour or so in the evening to relax before the whole thing starts again the next day. All without needing naps and to keep grabbing time to shut their eyes for 15 minutes. I think that's the thing that stands out to me.

If I were you I would just go get some blood tests done just to rule out being low in something or possibly being anemic maybe?

If you’re getting 8 or 9 hours sleep a night which it sounds like you are I think you need to see a GP to check B12/iron/Vit D levels plus anything else - deficiency in any one of those 3 alone could make you feel exhausted all the time.

Also get hormonal levels checked if you can, and if you suspect perimenopause....
I have been really fatigued and have nothing like your levels of activity or responsibility recently, needing naps often in the day and feeling like wading through treacle. HRT, firstly Oestrogen/Prog patches but more recently Testosterone (which had to be privately prescribed) has helped quite a lot. Especially the testosterone for the fatigue.
Only mentioning because all my blood tests were basically normal, till I had a hormone test (and NHS don't really do these, I had to go private for this) and discovered my oestradiol levels were low and testosterone levels extremely low.

Op I think I would ask for a blood test as the tiredness seems extreme.

When I was this tired it was due to low vitamin b12 as my body cannot absorb it so needed injections.

I would ask gp for a blood test and get a cleaner to lighten your load at home

Are you going to bed at 730 since you are up early or do you carry on doing stuff / watching the telly ?

I used to be up at 7 and bed by 930 to get me through

if you are and still that exhausted a few blood tests would not be amiss

I don't think that is normal tiredness and you should visit the GP. I had a similarly busy job and was a single mum in a v similar situation to you. It is very tiring, no doubt. I was usually in bed at 10, also really struggled with the house admin, cleaning etc. BUT I didn't feel the level of tiredness you are describing. I would say there are likely supplements and other things you can do to feel better but with that level of tiredness I would visit the GP to check there is nothing else amiss, get some advice on what you can do/take to feel better and to reassure yourself.

Good luck-eally tough times, but they do get easier.

i agree with others I don’t think this level of exhaustion is normal if you are getting that much good quality sleep per night. I’ve recently been diagnosed with under active thyroid which was found coincidentally when I was checked for something else. I wouldn’t have classed my level of fatigue as abnormal prior to being diagnosed but am less tired now I’m on meds. It might he something simple like a deficiency somewhere that you can take supplements or meds for.

Ask to have your iron levels checked by the GP, you might be anaemic. Also thyroid like others have suggested. Good luck x

Yes, please go to the doctor and explain. Get a proper blood test.

Your schedule sounds tiring but not enough in my
opinion to explain your tiredness. I’d definitely speak with your gp and ask for some tests to be completed.

Thank you all so much, I really appreciate your thoughts. I was worried I’m just lazy and that everyone experiences this, but I’ll get that blood test and go from there. I feel a bit more confident having that conversation with the GP now x

You're getting 9 hours of sleep a night and still needing to catch naps? You def need to speak to a Dr. It's probably something simple like a vitamin deficiency x

Same as what some others have said. I'm a single parent of 4yo twins so I understand the work/home toddler juggle exhaustion. And in my experience that often leads to not having the best diet which impacts my energy. However, it's worth getting a blood test. Extreme fatigue can be brought on by a lack of iron so (this is my situ)... so if that's the case there may be a simple solution to giving yourself (a tiny bit) more energy.