Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Manager told the team I was off with ‘the shits’

29 replies

Chloe992 · 07/05/2025 19:38

As above. I had to call in sick today with suspected food poisoning - I hate taking time off but I had no choice and have been horrendously ill all day.

My friend has messaged me to say that on the team buzz, someone asked when I was expected back and my manager said ‘shouldn’t be too long, it’s only a dose of the shits’.

Now I might be a bit more tetchy than normal given how unwell I feel, but that’s a line crossed isn’t it? For context, there will have been anything from 15-20 people on that call and a mix of genders, some who I really don’t know all too well.

OP posts:
Sunnyglowdays · 07/05/2025 19:38

Manger shouldn’t be giving any more details than off sick.

Dpresst · 07/05/2025 19:40

totally inappropriate. Complain.

thistimelastweek · 07/05/2025 19:41

Personal information inappropriately shared.

KoalaPineapple · 07/05/2025 19:41

That’s so inappropriate I would definatley complain and in writing (via email) so it’s documented. Hope you feel better now

Zanatdy · 07/05/2025 19:42

Completely inappropriate. He could have just said you’re not in today, but he absolutely shouldn’t be disclosing your medical info. I’d ask him not to tell colleagues your private info, but he shouldn’t really need telling should he?

OneMerryOpalHam · 07/05/2025 19:45

I wouldn't complain as it's not mental health or related long term issues, cancer etc, but such vulger language.

I worked with men like that, go into detail about it
Was in legal. Idiots

ilovesooty · 07/05/2025 19:48

He'd no right to disclose information about your absence. I'd be taking it up with him and unless he apologises I'd make a written complaint.

Picklechicken · 07/05/2025 19:48

Horribly unprofessional. There was just no need!

Original poster
Chloe992 · 07/05/2025 19:57

My manager is a woman - she is fairly recently promoted and even before today I’ve been unsure what to make of her. She is very direct and can appear quite aggressive. She must be well thought of as she has jumped two job roles very quickly after joining.

OP posts:
ThisOpenMauveLurker · 07/05/2025 20:01

Do you have an HR dept or person?
I’d email them and relay what’s happened (and you could say you now feel really embarrassed and stressed about returning to work).

New manager needs urgent training on data protection.

Hotflushesandchilblains · 07/05/2025 20:03

I dont think it is wrong to say youare unwell. But the detail and the way it was presented (if that is a direct quote) are horribly unprofessional. To the extent that I cant imagine anyone who would say this would be open to feedback.

Orangemintcream · 07/05/2025 20:12

I would be furious at my medical information being given out regardless of what it was. It is confidential information.

I would be further concerned about what else she isn’t able to keep confidential.

I would be speaking to HR about it. Potentially depending on the organisation I may also request a different line manager.

Itsoneofthose · 07/05/2025 20:14

I’m sorry but LOL. The title of the post! I wouldn’t be happy either. Charming.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 07/05/2025 20:20

I wouldn’t make a big deal of it but I would email HR and say (in a jolly tone) perhaps someone could remind her about confidentiality.

It is strangely aggressive actually, but I’d stick with a neutral confidentiality point in your complaint

ilovesooty · 07/05/2025 20:23

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 07/05/2025 20:20

I wouldn’t make a big deal of it but I would email HR and say (in a jolly tone) perhaps someone could remind her about confidentiality.

It is strangely aggressive actually, but I’d stick with a neutral confidentiality point in your complaint

If I were going to email HR I'd not be "jolly" about it.

She doesn't sound like the type to apologise to you so I'd make a formal written complaint.

CommentHere · 07/05/2025 20:25

I'd be annoyed. I sometimes receive doctor certs as "sick certs" and they never give details. Just "Jane is unfit for work from 1st to 5th May inclusive"
A manager can only say the same, Jane is off sick, hopefully be back soon, or she said she'd be back within a couple of days. Always vague.

lljkk · 07/05/2025 20:31

There's no data protection, confidence violation maybe.

foreverblowingbubbless · 07/05/2025 20:35

It all depends on what you want the outcome to be? I'm not saying you should be scared to complain because she is your boss but think about whether it is worth it for this to escalate to HR. I would be tempted to speak to her privately about it and see how she responds. If it's not satisfactory then report but hopefully she will realise she has cocked up and she " owes you one". She will be extra careful around you in future.

AliBaliBee1234 · 07/05/2025 20:36

Regardless of your reason for being off, it should absolutely not be shared.

Shadowsunray · 07/05/2025 20:40

I would be furious.

JDM625 · 07/05/2025 20:46

Absolutely no need to disclose personal, medical information to the team. Yes you are unwell, but the details are private. What if you'd had an MC, a hemorrhoidectomy, bartholins cyst or anything at all. I'd be speaking to HR.

TortolaParadise · 07/05/2025 20:47

Over share - very unreasonable.

thisfilmisboring123 · 07/05/2025 20:49

foreverblowingbubbless · 07/05/2025 20:35

It all depends on what you want the outcome to be? I'm not saying you should be scared to complain because she is your boss but think about whether it is worth it for this to escalate to HR. I would be tempted to speak to her privately about it and see how she responds. If it's not satisfactory then report but hopefully she will realise she has cocked up and she " owes you one". She will be extra careful around you in future.

I agree.
I’m not sure I’d go to HR without speaking to them first.

Sherararara · 07/05/2025 20:55

Totally unprofessional.

But also hilarious.

JustRollIt · 07/05/2025 20:56

I didn't think a manager could disclose private medical information as to why a person is off work sick. When I worked in an office if the manager wasn't in I could tell a coworker I wouldn't be in but I was told that I could choose to disclose why to the coworker and equally could choose not to tell them.