To think this site is obsessed with money?

[YourFirmDuck]

Every single time anything related to this comes up at least half the replies are clearly jealous/bitter and making unsubstantiated claims e.g. the original poster is getting cheated on by DH, is actually dumb and got lucky, inherited it etc.

I can't think of anything which gets the same level of nastiness to appear, even threads about size or the use of weight loss jabs seem to be calmer than someone asking how to save more than the ISA limit.

Am I wrong here?

I think it’s because people don’t talk about money in real life, so it’s an outlet.

I agree, a massive amount of bitchiness which I think is caused by envy but also the fact that most people are not often exposed to people with vastly different incomes and lifestyles to themselves. Some of it will be disbelief "you're a troll for saying you earn £X/annum". There's also the fact that money is such a weird subject, and for many it stems from childhood issues, upbringing, struggles throughout life - it's weirdly emotive. It seems a lot of people can't see past money but then it really does make a huge difference to how situations are handled.

I am also baffled by the number of people that seem to think that those who say they earn over £100k are making it up. Why would they be?!

Also anyone with an income level above the national minimum wage is not allowed to complain about their outgoings or lack of disposable income - always told to “read the room” and that they do not live in the real world (everyone’s personal world IS the real world for them).

To be fair it is absolutely bloody bonkers to see people earning so much money (or their DHs do) complaining about costs etc, when you're used to living on barely a fifth if the amount these people bring in. Or a lot less. It's absolutely gobsmacking to think these legit wealthy people can't find a way to survive, like their brains have just switched off or something.

Me and my partner bring in way, way more money now than I ever thought possible when I was brought up in a world of benefits and severely low incomes all around me. I feel lucky and grateful every day that we can afford to buy food without worrying... And then to see people who are earning 100k more than me and my partner are earning even now, complaining? Absolutely wild. People need to count their lucky stars.

I understand outgoings can be different - but we also choose what house we buy, where we shop, what car we get on finance, etc etc for the most part. Just stop doing expensive things and do things more cheaply if you can't afford it comfortably, it's not as if you can't afford shelter or food at all. And why are people so obsessed with holidays to the point its considered life destroying if they don't go on one? Like that's an actual concern people have, not being able to afford a holiday.

I think it's just a clash of worlds.

I agree but that is applicable to almost every level of society except the very poorest.
When I see threads like the one you describe, it’s mainly posters complaining that their earnings do not go as far as it perhaps should or would have just a few years ago. That’s a pretty unifying grievance across the board. Salaries have not kept up with inflation particularly of house prices. So as young adult you may have dreamt of earning £75K then through hard graft or sheer luck you find yourself at that income level 5-10years later only to find you cannot even afford a house in a not so nice part of town. Sure, they are not on the breadline but I can see how not may be very disheartening and it maybe something they cannot talk about IRL so they reach out here.

I lose sleep at night thinking about how we’ll ever pay the mortgage off on a relatively modest 4 bed house in a good school catchment. I worry about money constantly. It must be nice not to have to worry about money.

Not really.

But definitely a yes on thinking women are automatically jealous if they dare to disagree with something.

The people posting may be very interested in money, it is pretty vital. How much you have, what you do with it, how much you save, how much tax you pay, all compared to other people is pretty interesting. How to pay less tax (legally) is also pretty useful information and some people really don't know too much about or don't understand tax and tax savings, just ignore the mean and jealous posts, nothing you can do about it anyway.

You move once schooling is over and cash in on the catchment area?

We would.

Every loses their bananas about class as well!

Bun fights about class are very entertaining. 🙂

I often think that some people humble bragging that they earn tons but are cash poor is a way of broadcasting how much money they have. They may not be vulgar enough to boast about their money in everyday life, but MN is a safe and anonymous outlet.

It’s important to talk about money, especially for women who make up the majority of SAHP and still suffer from the gender pay gap, loss of income/pensions through parental leave and part time working.

The social etiquette doing so is understandable but an advantage of social media/internet is that we can now talk more freely and with anonymity.

I've gone from bottom 10% as a child to top 0.1% now. Things are no less stressful the more money you have, if anything it is the opposite.

For example you mentioned you're worried about school catchment when some people worrying about food would find that ridiculous.

Completely agree @noworklifebalance - the bunfight/race to the bottom that ensues completely obfuscates that very legitimate universal gripe.
I’ve learnt quite a bit from money threads, particularly around pensions so I’m pleased that people keep posting them despite the negative pile on that inevitably happens if someone has more than one pot to piss in

To understand this, you need to understand what money is. It used to be a way to 'store' labour or resources to keep track of barter.

Now it's a way to keep score to rich people. And to poor people it's an existential threat. Rich people hoard money and resources and have made essential needs like water and housing into commodities like Ferraris and Rembrandts. Debt (and therefore unhappiness) is rife and almost unavoidable. And capitalism works by telling people if they don't work like dogs until they drop, they will be homeless and their children will be in care. Keep them scared and busy so they can't notice. Drop a few crumbs like food banks and you control even the means to feed their kids.

And you wonder why it gets heated. It gets heated because it should be heated. We should be rioting in the streets, never mind having a go at the person on here asking which Caribbean holiday to go on. It's not jealousy, it's fear.

I am starting to wonder if there should be a forum for high earners or maybe not that exactly but for women who want to frankly discuss larger amounts of money/investments/pensions/ whatever. It’s impossible now on this site which is weird.
The other really weird thing is there’s a constant stream of “if you’re so rich then why are you posting here aren’t you rich enough to google”.
I posted about a holiday - I wasn’t moaning or complaining or boasting I was simply asking for holiday advice on the holiday forum and I included my budget. I got lots of useful advice but also a real significant number of posts sort of sneering that if I was “so rich” why was I posting on Mumsnet. Like only poor people can post on Mumsnet because rich = clever and therefore not in need of Mumsnet? Very odd and I’ve never understood the logic.

I think the Mumsnet user base is far wealthy than the average person in the real world, and far wealthier than the average user base of other websites.

I'm not sure why this is? You can definitely tell though.

I imagine people who are new to the site and haven't realised this yet may struggle to believe that every other poster on here seems to earn over 100k haha when in the real world unless you move in wealthy circles you're unlikely to meet many people earning over 100k

I think there are many money (and otherwise) threads on here that people need to realise they don’t need to reply to. People get exceptionally wound up and compare OP to their situation, which is mostly completely irrelevant.

If an OP is asking for budget/pension/saving tips earning 90k a year, I don’t know why people who earn 30k come in spitting about how they manage on much less and it ‘must be nice’. Either share your cheapskate tips or leave! I see it a lot with online dating threads too - ‘get off those apps OP! I’ve been married 40 years.’

Because statistically, just shy of two percent of the population earn over 100k.

And I guess it seems that more than two percent of posters claim that they do earn £100k a year. Which goes against what the stats say.

Unless people mean that their shared income is over £100k, which is far more realistic.

Not all of the population is a member here though. We all know that mumsnet skews higher so it doesn't come as a surprise to me.

That assumes that a representative sample of the population of UK women will be on this site and posting on money threads.

Are you suggesting that the hive mind behemoth that is Mumsnet would not be representative of the population!

Shame on you!

I've only ever earned average wage but I'm always amazed by the fact that people can say they are earning so much, but appear so dim.

I don't understand how you can be earning £100k but have so little idea about money, savings etc. Some people seem to spend every penny they earn on unnecessary rubbish and then bleat on about how hard up they are.

You can definitely earn loads and not be financially savvy.

Agree.

There are definitely some fantasists and bullshitters on here, which over the years has included people claiming to be poor as well as rich. But also, it's not a representative demographic. And the sort of person who earns/is partnered with someone earning 100k+ is disproportionately likely to have the sort of traits that mean they might post on here.

Because if you think about it, anyone who's participating in discussion on MN can read and write English to at least early secondary level and has internet access. There are millions of the population who don't meet these criteria, but pretty much all higher earners do.

The 2% figure can be a bit misleading as well because it's as a percentage of the working age population. So pretty much no FE and uni students qualify, but they're still included in the stats once they're 18. They also don't post much on MN. MNers are disproportionately likely to be of the age where they and/or their partner are around peak earning years. I've also seen some claims this year it's actually 4%, which would make sense considering inflation, but not sure of the source.