To feel like being attractive sometimes means people assume the worst?

[MySharpOliveExpert]

I’ve always felt that some people put me in a box - “oh, she’s pretty, so she must have slept her way into this position” or “she’s only here because of how she looks.” But that’s never been how I operate and it’s frustrating to feel like my achievements are dismissed because of assumptions about my appearance.

Have others experienced this? AIBU to think that being attractive sometimes comes with unfair judgements?

This is a perfect example of how rude people are to you if you're attractive.

Thank you for the demonstration.

I think this ‘classification’ says far more about you than you realise, none of it good.

Nonsense. We’re typing anonymously on the internet. For all any of us know we’re all lonely, bearded, balding lorry drivers taking a break in a lay-by.

Both

Beauty often brings awe, status and privilege
Whereas
hotness eg sexiness and crucially, looking sexually available (which I think you mean by trashy) will from an evolutional perspective, sometimes result in being perceived as a threat and therefore inspire jealousy/ resentment/ down playing of other character traits

Not at all. I am an attractive woman.

In a previous comment pp was saying beautiful vs hot as though they were two different things. I don't see it that way.

It was suggested 'beautiful' women had pretty privilege but 'hot' women were perceived badly. I don't agree. I believe 'trashy' women are perceived badly and that has nothing to do with a woman's face or body and more to do with clothing and behaviour.

I didn't get this when I was young and pretty. What I did have was the knowledge that I could look a hot young man in the eyes and know he wouldn't recoil in horror. It was nice. I've lost that now (world's tiniest violin)

We could really delve into the psychology behind some of this and be here until next year. My group of friends are all above average attractiveness. The friend who would be considered the least conventionally attractive is the one who would come out in literal lingerie for attention... and she'd get it. Think day time drinks, we are all in tea dresses or the age old 'nice top and jeans' and she would stroll in wearing a see through mesh bodice. It was embarrassing! Was this insecurity because she needed to detract from the other women around her? Probably. Enough men have picked up on it over the years.

I think true beauty inspires more jealousy from other women and admiration from men because it is rarer and natural, it cant be 'emulated' even with make up. However, dressing trashy and behaving in a more sexually available way around men can be seen as threatening as some of these women are quite happy to follow through with it, married or not. So maybe there is an element of judging people on how trustworthy they are according to their behaviour or assumed behaviour based on how they present themselves.

Cliché example: Would a wife prefer her husband's secretary be a middle aged plain Jane, a young beautiful young woman or an average woman who turns up in mini skirts with her tits hanging out....