to feel pissed off because DH wants to have birthday party while I'm away?

[vampbaby]

I have to be two weeks away for work in June and dd will have her FIRST birthday while I'm away. I wanted to have a big party to celebrate..make her cakes..balloons, when I come back which will be about two weeks after her birthday. DH says that he will have one for her when I'm away, but I'm really pissed off because I really want to celebrate this occasion with them... I know dd won't care so why doesn't DH understand that I want him to wait having a party till I come back?

dd won't care - dh has no right and is being an arse - this is something for the whole family

have it before you go

thanks for posting. I feel a bit better that I'm not being a selfish mommy. This is our first baby and it's really important to me to celebrate the first birthday. DH is just like some conservative old twat man saying "of course she should have a party on her birthday..don't be selfish, it's her day not yours" I wish I can say something to change his mind.

Well at one years old, actually it is YOUR day - she won't know Monday from Tuesday, birthday from any other day at that age (or up until about 5 yrs old!)

Tell him to stop being an arse and get a life - he is being ridiculously childish and hurtful.

But it's not her day really, is it? She doesn't know or care! We had a huge family party for DD, not because she asked for it, but because we didn't have her christened, and we felt that we had missed out on the chance to get the whole family together and have a bit of a celebrate that there was another person in the family.

Then we realised that DD might get a bit freaked out, being in a huge group of people, most of whom she didn't know very well. She ended up having a good time, but not have as good as us.

Your DH is being unreasonable.

Sounds like hes being an idiot/martyr because you are going away? Is he secretly annoyed you are going?

Seriously why does it matter if its on the day or not at this age? Even if she was older and understood I would still have a big party beforehand and then a smaller one on her actual birthday for her.

YANBU he sounds arsey because you're going away.

Just do the party yourself before you go. If he wants to do another party on her actual birthday then let him but in my experience, men are not really very good at organising parties

I was out of town for a week when my dd turned 3 - on her birthday dh took her out for an ice cream to celebrate. We opened her presents a few days before her birthday, before I went on my business trip and had a little cake that day with a little kids who are neighbours. (No games or anything, just cake and a playing for an hour.) Then we had a big party a few weeks later.
I would have been heart broken to miss seeing her opening presents and blow out candles. DD was happy with all the attention spread out over a few days.