Not being listened to re c section request

[angelinamerry]

Hi guys,

32 weeks pregnant. I have been very clear since 16 weeks that I want a c section (have nearly died before during a very traumatic labour so I just don’t want to do it again. However, it feels like no one is listening. My midwife still hasn’t made the referral, I’m supposed to be in consultant - led care but I’ve only met them once and every midwife I’ve seen has tried to put me off a c section. After my recent appointment I’ve been told to wait and see how I feel even though I don’t need to wait as I won’t change my mind and I still don’t have a referral. AIBU to be really annoyed?

Not unreasonable no, your wishes should be listened to re mode of birth. Can you find out who the head of midwifery is at your trust and email them directly? It’s usually a good way of being listened to quickly if you feel you aren’t getting anywhere with your own midwife. Good luck - you have the right to choose your mode of birth so don’t be pressured out of it.

You either need to be very firm with your midwife and repeat that you want a c section, or ask to speak to another midwife, or bring someone along to your appointment to advocate for you. You are entitled to request a c section, as long as you have had the risks etc explained to you. Good luck.

Have you spoke to your consultant about this? I was also dismissed by midwife. I discussed it with the consultant at my 16 week appointment with them (it was a telephone appointment) and they okayed it there and then.
If you haven’t already, get in touch with your consultant at the hospital.

https://www.motherandbaby.com/family-life/influencers-inspiration/louise-thompson/

i heard Louise speaking on the radio recently. Write down what you want and why. Write down that you feel unheard and be very very firm on your wants. Say you want this letter included in your medical records.

You could also read up NICE guidelines and RCOG about c section requests.

Completely unacceptable. Make a massive fuss. Ask to speak to your consultant. Complain to PALS. Email head of midwifery as PP suggests. All of it, very loudly. Bring your partner to your next appointment to help advocate too - shouldn’t be necessary but any means necessary. Tale a printout of the NICE c section advice with you to wave if required. Yanbu, do not let anyone tell you that you are.

I have been known to say “whatever”
They say “ No, because whatever”
Me “ I see. Let’s do that together now” and sit there with a lovely smile on my face and my notebook out waiting for the action.

Alternatively (and medical people really don’t like this), take out your phone and record the appointment. DD’s orthodontist kicked up massively and I just said “my husband is at work right now and he is the one paying for this and he is going to hear all you have to say”. I did have to promise on DD’s life never to show anyone else which was fine. But, I recorded every appointment. And DH watched every one.

Sometimes, you have to take no shit. And just sit there until you are heard. In your case, I would start recording now.