AIBU in refusing to show picture of daughters medication

[RaisingWildDragons]

AIBU in refusing for a picture of daughters medication to be send to DH ex?

she is demanding a photo of my daughters medication.
my step daughter (11) and my daughter (9) have the same medication. My step daughter, who has ALN, has told the mum that my daughter is taking her medication, which is not the case. They are both prescribed separately. But take it at the same time every night.
The mother believes the step daughter, and refuses to listen to my husband when he told her that my daughter is not taking the step daughters meds, but her own ones.
in the beginning of the conversation, I didn’t even want to give out the information that my daughter was even on this particular medication.
I am not being unreasonable. Am I? She doesn’t seem to understand boundaries and won’t let it drop.

I have no idea what ALN is but it seems reasonable to send a pic of the prescription label with your daughter’s name on it to end the debate once and for all. I can see why SDs mum is concerned that her daughters medication might be being taken by your dd - surely quite unusual to be on exactly the same prescription medicine but the conversation can be shut down quickly with one photo.

If she thinks that your daughter is taking her daughter's medication can't she just count how much medicine is left in the bottle? Wouldn't that prove that the correct number of tablets are missing?

I can't see it hurting, she's just looking out for her kid.

The ex already knows your daughter's taking this medication, so what harm does it do to send her a picture of the prescription label now?

Is something being lost in translation here between SD and ex? Is SD saying 'my medication' when she means 'the same medication'?
Can you show SD the label with DD name on it? Prove to her that it is not 'her' medication, but is the same as hers.

Failing that, I cannot see that sharing a photo of this is the hill to die on. Unless there is a massive backstory.

I understand where you’re all coming from, but it’s my daughter’s information, which has nothing to do with ex (who has been nasty to me and daughter constantly).
but I’ve allowed husband to do it.
ALN is additional learning needs, and this medication is common for children to be prescribed.
she can’t count the number of tablets because we pick them up and give her a bottle (they are prescribed for 3 months at a time.

Could the mum be concerned that her dd is going through more medication than normal or something like that.
sending her a pic of the label would very quickly put a stop to accusation or confusion. Not sure why you wouldn’t just do that and put a stop to it all rather than drag out all the drama.

I don’t know what ALN is but from a Google it could be additional learning needs, so not really a leap to think the SD could be upset and stressed out that she thinks someone is taking her meds. So rather than have that just put an end to it.

I'd just send her a photo of it tbh. If you'd still rather not, send a picture of her daughter's medication and the prescription date. This should show that her daughter's medication is all correct and in place eg if she was prescribed 30, 2 days ago only 1 or 2 would be missing. This would prove it imo.
I get why she wants proof, if my child said her DSM was giving out medication meant for her, I'd want proof. But I'd probably speak to her dad or come round and talk (calmly) face to face. Kids get confused, misunderstand or lie sometimes.

Just ignore

If you guys pick up the meds and don’t give her the full amount I can see why she might be concerned and she has no idea how many tablets are being taken.

Wouldn't the medication just have your dd name and the type of meds/frequency? Surely she already knows her name? Edit the pic to black out her D.O.B and dosage if that's showing on and you don't want her to know.

I’m guessing they are both on melatonin if they’re taking it at night. I’d be concerned if my daughter told me you were also giving it to your daughter too as it is a sleeping aid. Probably best to send the photo and settle it.

We give her 3 bottles, and we have 3 bottles. The step daughter lives 50/50 with each parent. So the step daughter has exactly the same amount of meds at each home. 1 tablet at night.

Is it sleep medication?
I know of parents who gave their child melatonin that was prescribed to another child in the home.
It happens.
Send a photo, remove any telling personal information.

Yes, it’s melatonin to aid with sleep

Personally I would just send the photo.

This is simple misunderstanding that can be cleared up by sharing information. But hey boundaries and conflict and being right.

So you can choose to feed the fire or smother it.

These girls are sharing a home and have part of their lives together so helping smooth it over is what all the adults in this situation would be wise to do. Not everyone gets this but you might be the only adult here.

The personal information is the fact that she is taking the medication

Thanks all.
I’ve taken the photo and sent it. Thanks for your advice and help. It isn’t worth the drama, and I can see it from the other perspective.

I don't know about the UK, in Ireland it has to be a prescription by a pediatric consultancy or psychiatrist.
I can understand why she is concerned.
I'd send the photo, if she reports it there may be an investigation by SS.

If both children are biologically related it’s not really a surprise if they have the same medication.

They aren’t biologically related.
My daughter is not the child of DH

both are prescribed by paediatrics

You shouldn't have had to send the photos, sometimes it is easy for the sake of peace.
Step daughter made a mistake.
I know she is a child, but I'd be cautious going forward as to what I'd share around her.

Yes, but she knows that already as OP’s DH has already told her.