To want to leave my husband as hes so grumpy and annoying

[Clairegreenhen]

Just that,
I met my husband after a break up from a long relationship, looking back it was probably a rebound relationship and I put up with more than I would normally. He's just really grumpy most days, hes foever shouting at me and the kids about something and is tired all the time besides getting more sleep than me. Looking back I wish I broke up with him but I got pregnant and we felt the best thing was to marry and now we have two children but I don't feel attracted to him most times and find him annoying and embarrassing, if we didnt have children I'd be gone but I feel obligated to stay as he can be a good father at times. Just feel so trapped and this is not the life I'd thought I'd have, feel selfish for ending it also. Any advice/reassurance?
AIBU to end the relationship?

Life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship. And I'd not really call him a good dad if he's constantly shouting at you and the children. You don't want to teach your kids that this is what a relationship looks like

We all deserve to be happy.

He can still be a good father even if you aren’t in a relationship with him! But I do believe that divorce should be a last resort, after all else has failed. What have you tried so far? Does he have any idea that you feel this way? Could you give marriage counselling a go!

I think the thing is -if you have decided to call time on the relationship
you need to make the decision and stick to it
your partner will probably not be working to enable the transition
don’t be guilt -tripped into not caring for yourself you should try and “fast forward “ to what the future looks like if you stay
will you be nurtured accepted and loved for who you are ?
sounds as if you’re feeling like a hostage and your partner is a coercive controller
you can easily diagnose the mind-set why don’t you look at the Women’s Aid website they have lots of good information and will be able to talk you through the options from a detached perspective
you need a confidante with no agenda
eventually you may see how your experience can benefit others
nothing is wasted

i could have written that post!!! Omg our situations are very similar although my dh doesn’t shout he’s silently hostile and disengaged. Following with interest

Also it’s not good for your DC. Would you like their marriages to look
lile this? That’s what I ask myself. Start formulating an exit plan but maybe talk to him first about how you feel. Sounds like he could be depressed. Maybe he needs a bit of help and some antidepressants

Hi op you won’t be the first or last person to feel this way. The kids might prefer you to split if he’s shouting at them they will always remember there childhood good or bad you have to be the strong one and decide what is best for you and the kids. I bet half the women on here feel this way and we stay for the kids as our happiness is not important anymore but he’s being cruel to them so think how it’s affecting them. Can you afford to live without him? will he want share custody? would he pay his way? If he met someone new how would you feel? Lots to think about can it be saved?