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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To eat the salad?

23 replies

Greeksauce · 05/05/2025 17:38

On Friday I'd cooked dinner for BF. It's my own fault, but I'd agreed to have it ready for when he finished an activity, I.e. he would literally walk in to dinner in the table. Usually we cook together or he'd at least be here for a chat while I cook. I didn't realise how much I'd begrudge the dinner on the table thing.

Anyway he was late, so I was in a bad mood when he arrived. The activity had overrun and he'd stopped at the shop on the way, bringing dessert and salad to go with dinner. I don't want desserts and he knows that, so if he wants it he does bring it. It annoys me when he brings enough for two as a treat for me....because he knows I don't want it. So I was annoyed about that too. Then the salads, the meal didn't need salad, if it did I'd have made salad....Frankly I had a bit of a tantrum, but I got over it and we had a nice evening.

I've just got back from a day out and the salads are still in the fridge. I'm going to have them for dinner...even though I was cross he bought them...

OP posts:
CorbyTrouserPress · 05/05/2025 17:40

Eh?

ThinWomansBrain · 05/05/2025 17:40

you sound like hard work

AgnesX · 05/05/2025 17:40

Why waste them, of course you should use them. Just "re-plan" your meal.

WinterMorn · 05/05/2025 17:41

CorbyTrouserPress · 05/05/2025 17:40

Eh?

I know!

StarsandCucoos · 05/05/2025 17:41

You sound quite exhausting.

BeEagerEagle · 05/05/2025 17:42

Are you autistic OP? I am and may have acted like this. I hate my plans being changed even slightly and stuff not working out the way I expect. Even little things like food plans!

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/05/2025 17:42

StarsandCucoos · 05/05/2025 17:41

You sound quite exhausting.

And mardy.

Takoneko · 05/05/2025 17:42

YABU to have a tantrum because he bought salads and desserts.

Its also very odd to be stroppy and resentful about having dinner ready on the table when he go home as a one off. Don’t we all do that once in a while? DP does it more often than me because of work schedules, but it’s just normal give and take.

faerietales · 05/05/2025 17:43
Are You High Basketball Wives GIF by VH1

.

StarTwirl · 05/05/2025 17:43

Don’t you mean soon to be ExDP

Theunamedcat · 05/05/2025 17:43

Eat them rather than waste food

I don't know whe people can't understand this salad doesn't go with everything

sweetpickle2 · 05/05/2025 17:43

BeEagerEagle · 05/05/2025 17:42

Are you autistic OP? I am and may have acted like this. I hate my plans being changed even slightly and stuff not working out the way I expect. Even little things like food plans!

Edited

I thought the same- I recognise the rigidness and meltdown when a plan deviates.

NicolaCasanova · 05/05/2025 17:44

You sound petty. Don’t waste food.

Greeksauce · 05/05/2025 17:46

Takoneko · 05/05/2025 17:42

YABU to have a tantrum because he bought salads and desserts.

Its also very odd to be stroppy and resentful about having dinner ready on the table when he go home as a one off. Don’t we all do that once in a while? DP does it more often than me because of work schedules, but it’s just normal give and take.

He wasn't "getting home". He doesn't live here.

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 05/05/2025 17:49

The activity had overrun (ok so maye he could have let you know) and he'd stopped at the shop on the way, bringing dessert and salad to go with dinner. That's a nice thing to do. I don't want desserts and he knows that, so if he wants it he does bring it. It annoys me when he brings enough for two as a treat for me....because he knows I don't want it. You'd be more annoyed if he brought it for one? So maybe its bought in pairs? Hes not force feeding you. This is another example of you being unreasonable.
So I was annoyed about that too. Then the salads, the meal didn't need salad, if it did I'd have made salad.... He may have wanted salad with it. Everything can be garnished. Frankly I had a bit of a tantrum, No shit, you sound unbearable. Toddlers have tantrums. Are you an adult? Maybe you should start acting like one, go on a journey of self awareness and understand your toxic traits and work on them.

Takoneko · 05/05/2025 17:50

Arriving to your home then. My point still stands that getting resentful about cooking for a partner as a one-off (you say you normally cook together) is unreasonable.

IberianBlackout · 05/05/2025 18:06

God, you sound annoying.

FWIW a salad is a side dish to pretty much every meal in my country so maybe your husband also likes salads as side dishes? It doesn’t diminish your effort towards the main meal.

Greeksauce · 05/05/2025 18:17

I don't dispute that I was annoying and unreasonable at the time. I was annoying myself, even as it was happening, but I was cross because he was late when I'd spent the evening cooking and hungry because I'd delayed dinner for his activity, and once I was annoyed, it snowballed for a while with every little thing irritating me.

My (tongue in cheek) question was about eating the salad which I said I didn't want.

OP posts:
Shadowsunray · 05/05/2025 18:34

If I was going around to someone's place and brought salad and dessert and they had a tantrum I would not be pleased. You don't sound very nice.

Greeksauce · 05/05/2025 18:39

Shadowsunray · 05/05/2025 18:34

If I was going around to someone's place and brought salad and dessert and they had a tantrum I would not be pleased. You don't sound very nice.

Yes, I agree with you. I was tired and hungry and he was late. I didn't behave well and I've apologised for that.

OP posts:
Shadowsunray · 05/05/2025 18:43

Greeksauce · 05/05/2025 18:39

Yes, I agree with you. I was tired and hungry and he was late. I didn't behave well and I've apologised for that.

Then I would eat the salad and tell him how much I enjoyed it. I also get hangry so I do get it.

Ablondiebutagoody · 05/05/2025 21:02

Why is it his fault that the activity over ran? And even if it was, who gives a shit? It's just a bit of dinner. You sound nuts.

ThatGreatMember · 05/05/2025 21:37

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/05/2025 17:42

And mardy.

and single v soon.

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