Any SAHMs feel like they’ve got nothing to talk about these days?

[Dreno]

I always saw myself as an interesting, dynamic person. DH and I always had so much to talk about. But since being home with my baby (another on the way) I just feel deeply boring. When dh and I take the dog for a walk we sometimes have nothing to say after I’ve given a run down on anything interesting the dog or baby did.

I hate it. I’m embarrassed for myself.

Why do you need to acquire ‘stories’ I usually use my own life experiences etc. I wouldn’t sit there sharing someone else’s life that is or isn’t said in confidence. You should have an interesting life to talk about.

Isn't that the pojy of OP? He current life isn't giving her a great deal of "life experiences"

So why bother commenting?
It could be a very interesting discussion about how adult individuals lose what they thought was a part of their ego naturally, when they became parents, not just stay at homes and not having the cementing nature of their job being their identity, a lot of the time that is all anyone asks anyway.

Why don't people talk more philosophically, or in more depth to broaden knowledge or awaken ideas? Well some do but why isn't it more widespread?

Why is "what do you do?" such a popular question? Does it matter if we ended up a the pub the same afternoon for a drink? Does it matter what I do during the week? Or is it to gauge how much more or less they earn than you? Instant top cock pecking order type thing? Or perhaps it's just small talk and they cannot think of another single thing to ask another human being.

There are many people who have the most interesting of lives that pop up in the most unlikely places.

But yeah just seriously get a life eh! Groundbreaking.

So you wouldn't listen to someone else but expect them to listen to you?

Are you able to go out with friends or do a hobby in the evenings or weekends when DH is home? I found that on maternity leave, going out once a week for dinner and a chat with friends made me feel more “me” and a bit more interesting. Was there something you enjoyed doing before becoming a mum that you’d like to get back too? If so, making time for it during the week for an hour or so is the key.

I work part time and that’s a good balance for me, I don’t think it’s necessary being at home with the kids all day makes you any more “boring” than mums who work, for me it’s all about making time with friends or doing things for me outside of work and being a mother

I imagine with a baby/toddler at home OP isn’t reading the papers every day and loads of books. Depending on the age of the child (and I’m assuming not a really young baby since OP is pregnant again, so probably a toddler) museums and galleries may not be ideal either. Probably too old for a baby screening of a grown up film at the cinema as well. And evening theatre will have the same issues as a working mother eg scheduling time and finding babysitters.
OP is at the stage where, given the age of her child and with another on the way, it’s quite all consuming.
ETA - obviously the theatre doesn’t require a babysitter because she can leave the children with their father. But if she wants to go with her partner, it does.

Of look, another thread about SAHMs.

Somebody is riled up this BH weekend.

No all the most miserable women on MN can come out and say SAHMs are brain dead.

What was it yesterday - people telling SAHMs to do more housework? Can you imagine.

Being a human being is so much more than being a sahp or a woth.

Actually yesterday there was the thread about how your child’s childhood must go ever so quickly if you aren’t lucky enough to stay at home and maximise your time with them because of all the time you miss out on.

I felt like this on mat leave. I felt extremely boring and became overly interested in housework. Dullsville.

I was very glad to get back to work and have work problems to solve and colleagues to talk to.

I expect my friends to talk of course but not regurgitating a second or third hand story picked up in a salon!

I was a SAHM for 7 years & i never felt boring or dull. My life is not defined by the paid work that I do. And I consider myself very lucky in that I work in a really interesting creative field & it's hard to her into & even harder to sustain a career in so it's not like I dislike my work.

I just feel that I'm stil me irrespective of any role.

I read a LOT & on maternity leave it spent a lot of my time reading & I love history so read a lot of that.

We were also fortunate enough to travel lot with dhs projects when dc were preschool so we experienced lots of places from Australia to Canada as well as in Europe.

I was in my 30s having dc so had lived lots of life before they came along

My work is sociable & dh & I know a lot of really interesting people so I honestly never felt I had run out of things to say or conversations to have.

I sort of set myself little challenges too- teach myself how to bake - which i did & dc helped with the practicing & eating the results!

Explore a line of enquiry in literature because I was interested in it.

Dh loves philosophy & we have fantastic conversations about it

I think it's whatever floats your boat though. I like to broadly keep up with current affairs but I don't usually enjoy that sort of conversation socially & I DETEST talking about politics or religion.

One friends husband seems like he reads the front page of the paper & when we meet him he'll say 'so...what about the xyz issue' and it feels like an exam question!

What about if they talked about another of their friends that you deemed interesting enough?

Because that's one thing about storytelling it can be interesting even if you don't know the person. The skill is being able to determine if your story to tell is interesting regardless of it's origin. And not everyone can do that, some who work can't some who don't work can.

One of my friends can make a story about popping into McDonalds for a wee the funniest thing you will hear all week, but she's clearly descended from tribal leaders from somewhere. Storytelling at it's finest!

I can really relate! The feeling lasted until DS was about 2, then I feel like I became myself again. I don't know what changed or prompted it though.

I don’t do gossip either. I don’t need to rely on story telling. I have a very fulll life and so do most of our friends. I don’t need to scratch around for content.

I never felt like that when I was a SAHM. I still went out with my children, did lots of things with friends, watched tv, read books etc so I had lots to chat about. I probably had more to chat about as I did more things in my day. Sometimes it’s fine not to chat constantly anyway.

I felt the same way OP. I also felt my mental sharpness was slipping.

I used to get a newspaper a few times a week for the puzzles and also obviously current affairs.

I went back to work for myself and it didn’t really help, it was much better once I went back to work with a team and interaction.

I’m not a SAHP for this reason. I love my baby more then life itself, but I love the days I can get dressed for the office and spend an hour commuting listening to a podcast and grabbing a coffee. I love the days I can have a little gossip and a chit chat, especially with people who haven’t got kids. I find when you talk to others who have kids, the conversation revolves around them. Even though my colleagues without kids are only 3-5 years younger then me, it makes you realise how much your life can change in such a short period of time.
I can imagine this phase will pass for you once your LO is a bit more independent.

I really enjoyed that one too (eye roll). Really makes you feel so sorry for all these working fathers and the back lash they face.