Shared garden etiquette

[daylightdreamer]

Advice needed!! I live in the ground floor and only have 1 upstairs neighbour.

Now I fully respect he has equal right to the garden as I do but I’m struggling with knowing if I’m just being unreasonable or if he’s a bit entitled. I bought the garden furniture (a sofa and sun lounger) yet every single day he uses it, but not just him his mates as well. I live alone and it is a bit intimidating when I want to use the garden but having to ask if I can use my own furniture. He’s never asked if it’s mine or communal (although it wouldn’t be as it’s an HA property and they don’t even give flooring let alone furniture)! They’ve also been leaving cigarette butts everywhere despite me filling an old plant pot with sand and putting them in there to try to avoid it.

I really hate confrontation and if it was just him I may have said something but I don’t know if I’m the unreasonable one by expecting him not to use my seating? There’s always at least 3 men in the garden and I was sunbathing the other day when they came out and I felt so awkward I ended up going inside.

Is there anything I can actually do?

I take care of our communal garden, because no one else can be bothered... I have just bought, table, chairs and two troughs. We already have a bench, deck chair and a barbecue set... a couple of times a year, I post an update on the inside of our front door about what is happening in the garden, which kind of leaves me in charge. People do use them but are very mindful about it and ask.

Get a bin lock and stop sorting his bins out for him, the lazy fecker

Tell him since you have provided the furniture can he buy a bbq??

This!

you can’t just put sand thing there because it’s what you would do and expect him to telepathically comply

and anyone put your furniture in a communal garden so 🤷‍♀️

tell him to put his own bins out..

I think I would assume any furniture in a shared garden was communal. I'd see it as rude if someone took up permanent space with furniture that was solely for their use to be honest. A folding chair is more appropriate for a shared space if you want to keep it for your own use.

They shouldn't be leaving cigarette butts around or doing anything to make you feel uncomfortable though.

Wheelie bin magnetic lock.
Lock the cupboard. They will only read the meters once in a while and will come back if they can't access

Did you say it was a housing association OP? If so could you ask the HA to divide the garden up by putting some fencing or bushes to divide it ? I love my little garden and wouldn’t find it so relaxing to have other people in it , as it’s my retreat. If not maybe suggest he buys a hot tub or something’ we can all use as you are using my xyz.
Also how about bin night you ring his bell and shout can you give me a hand with our bins please ! Hopefully he will get in the habit . I feel your pain as I struggle to be assertive in situations like this.

I don't understand why people are saying you "cheekily" put the furniture in the shared garden without discussing it with others? Just cos it's a shared garden doesn't mean you have to share the furniture you've put in it! I have a shared garden with my upstairs neighbours and we each have our own stuff in it, I would never dream of using his stuff and he would never use mine either.

I think though it is a bit cheeky to put your own belongings out in a shared garden - it means you are permanently taking up that space, when it doesn’t belong to you. It sounds like OP put them in the garden when the upstairs flat was vacant (fair enough) but then the neighbour has assumed that they are for shared use, he doesn’t have any way to know that they are her personal things.

Just to defend myself slightly here, I will say he’s never once helped mow the grass or do any of the maintenance of the garden. When I first moved in you couldn’t get into the garden because it was covered in brambles. He does know this as when he moved in we had a chat about the previous tenant being a drug addict and I explained that the garden was full of needles amongst the debris and it took months to clear it. So actually I think he is aware the furniture is mine. I will also say other neighbours have had to have words about his lack of consideration as he’s blocked their driveways with his car.

I’ll hold my hands up and say I should be more assertive and I’ve since put the cushions inside and will get a cover for the furniture (I can’t bring it inside as it’s wooden and my flat is tiny). I also get it’s a shared space and I’ll look into asking for it to be divided if possible but I don’t see why I should have to ask his permission either to get furniture or anything? Do I have to ask him before we cut the grass too? One final point is that he has a balcony and I don’t, so technically he has more space.

That’s grand if it’s big enough and you both know. This bloke moved in to a house with a shared garden and there was a seat so he sat in it.

Don't keep furniture or random stuff out, lock it away.

And don't be like my old neighbour and leave your washing out for 4 day at a time when it rains....

Or let your dog crap all over the place.... (sorry am sure you are lovely but recovering from previous shared garden trauma)

@TabbyMOh that sounds awful! Luckily no dogs here, I have a cat but he’s an indoor kitty and doesn’t go outside

He would have paid for the space in his flat

this sounds like a communication issue where a lot has been assumed