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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fell out with my best friend was I in the wrong?!

21 replies

3guys · 05/05/2025 12:36

Hey so on Friday my best friend broke up with her boyfriend (of less then a month) but was very sad and asked me to come over I did with my daughter she has children too. At one point on Friday night she was sayImg how much of a lucky escape and she had seen some red flags and Decided to message his ex off my phone (she found her on social media) to ask if there was a risk the women replied with lots of proof of abuse and therefore she got more upset and she asked me to stay Saturday too. (The tacos between our houses are over £30 and I don’t drive currently. Anyway once her children went to there dads I noticed she went off in the kicthen on the phone she came back and was like Mike (not real name) is going to come over to speak about everything i need closure. I tried to be civil but after a while she began to sit on his lap kissing him and cuddling him I just got really upset that she would one bring a abuser around my child and two make that women tell all her abuse just to get back with him. I’m more angry that her children were hurt in a attack from a previous domestic abue anyway I eventually stood up and said this is soo morally wrong yoh messaged his ex all day and now your sat in his lap and booked a taxi and left.

my friend keeps texting me calling me a shit friend who didn’t Care about her safety but I just felt soo upset I was put in that situation.

do you think I was unfair just feel so bad but also know I reallly don’t agree with it.

OP posts:
Bundleflower · 05/05/2025 12:38

Your friend is a fucking idiot.

BleachedJumper · 05/05/2025 12:38

Urgh, she sounds scuzzy behaving like that with children, desperate for a waster.

Move away from this friendship, people like that will drag you down.

Arlanymor · 05/05/2025 12:39

She didn’t care about your safety, or the safety of your child. She doesn’t have a leg to stand on. I would distance yourself from her as much as possible.

AcquadiP · 05/05/2025 12:44

What were you supposed to do, open a bottle of wine and toast them getting back together?!

She needs to carefully consider the risks she's taking with her own safety (and the safety of her own children) before having a go at you.

Has she considered she may have also put his ex in potential danger?

She sounds stupid and selfish. I would have left as well.

JuvenileBigfoot · 05/05/2025 12:44

I'd have left if I was hanging out with my friend and she invited a man over and started sitting on his lap and kissing him, even without the backstory! Yuk. What is she, 16!?

UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 05/05/2025 12:48

Pretty sure you don't need to ask.

WhereIsMyJumper · 05/05/2025 12:51

Just leave her to it. I would have left too. Very strange behaviour on her part. This is not your problem anymore.

WonderingWanda · 05/05/2025 12:54

She sounds nuts. I would give her a wide berth. You did nothing wrong, she was the one putting herself (and you and your child )at risk by inviting him round and then kissing him. You absolutely did the right thing.

Olika · 05/05/2025 12:59

Well done for leaving. I would just leave her drama.

Cornishclio · 05/05/2025 13:00

God how old is she? She sounds crazy. I would have left once she invited him over

3guys · 05/05/2025 13:02

Cornishclio · 05/05/2025 13:00

God how old is she? She sounds crazy. I would have left once she invited him over

I think that’s what I regret not doing she’s 30!! I was soo shocked I understood the being upset as it’s the first relationship since her last abuse but I was just sat in shock at everything and so hurt she didn’t take me or my daughter into consideration

OP posts:
JMSA · 05/05/2025 13:03

She’s a fanny. An absolute mug.
You have done nothing wrong and were right to put your boundaries in place.

MoominMai · 05/05/2025 13:04

OP you sound so switched on and your friend the opposite. I’m surprised she is your BF. Either way, this is outrageously poor behaviour from her and I would just distance myself. She seems to have little emotional intelligence and limited self awareness. I can’t see a positive or mutually beneficial friendship from someone like this.

3guys · 05/05/2025 14:04

MoominMai · 05/05/2025 13:04

OP you sound so switched on and your friend the opposite. I’m surprised she is your BF. Either way, this is outrageously poor behaviour from her and I would just distance myself. She seems to have little emotional intelligence and limited self awareness. I can’t see a positive or mutually beneficial friendship from someone like this.

We grew up together and had children at the same time so I think it grew a friendship she is very funny and can be very caring. I was just so shocked at her behviour this time. It is true that most my other friends don’t like her and have nothing to do with her so I think I have been to forgiving in the past

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 05/05/2025 14:07

She's a dick with low intelligence and you are better off without her.

Lorlorlorikeet · 05/05/2025 14:27

I’m more angry that her children were hurt in a attack from a previous domestic abue anyway

Jesus. What happened to her children? Did he hurt them? Should social services be informed?

She is a stupid fucking fool.

SunshineAndFizz · 05/05/2025 14:32

This is not a person to be friends with.

ThejoyofNC · 05/05/2025 14:38

Do you know the details of what his ex alleged he had done to her? If her kid(s) are unsafe I would be reporting her. She clearly doesn't care about keeping them safe given they've been hurt in the past.

3guys · 05/05/2025 14:40

ThejoyofNC · 05/05/2025 14:38

Do you know the details of what his ex alleged he had done to her? If her kid(s) are unsafe I would be reporting her. She clearly doesn't care about keeping them safe given they've been hurt in the past.

Yes the facebook messges were on my phone it was things like beat her up till she lost her voice scream at her son he picked her due to past social service involovement so she was too scared to ask for help which is the same as my now old friend. There was lots of it and the craziest thing to me was this isn’t a jelous ex who’s gone out her way to message my friend my friend was seeing signs and contacted her so she is just so stupid. I’m soo upset with her honestly

OP posts:
BMW6 · 05/05/2025 15:05

Well she's an utter cockwomble and terrible mother.

As her children will be at risk I'd contact Social Services and tell them everything you know.

ThejoyofNC · 05/05/2025 15:47

In that case you really have a responsibility to report her to social services. I couldn't forgive myself if I sat on this type of information and a child was hurt.

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