Persevere with manual or switch to auto (or electric?)

[ClaretBC]

I learnt to drive at 37 after having 2 kids, mainly because I was fed up of relying on public transport and missing out on days out further afield. My husband drives and we have a camper van too. When he works I feel more limited, especially school holidays. Id love to be able to drive the van and take the kids camping. I was a very nervous learner and thought about switching to automatic but persevered and passed first time in manual.

I then didn't manage to get a car for a few months and I have been so so nervous since. I stalled and couldn't get going again at some traffic lights on a hill and since then I have rarely gone out. I haven't driven the car in over a month. I've not taken the kids for a day out. I feel frustrated and embarrassed every day about this and can't seem to get out in the car at all. It's just there on the drive, costing a lot of money!

I'm looking at potentially switching to automatic but then that would mean I wouldn't be able to drive the van and go camping. Or wouldn't be able to split long journeys with my husband. Although at the moment I'm not driving at all!

Our work has an electric car scheme so also looking at those.

But then I feel weirdly like I'm giving up on persevering with manual?

Anyone been in a similar situation?!

You might find if you got more confident with an automatic that you could then transfer that confidence over to manual / the camper in time.

Thanks Chasingsquirrels, im thinking that might be worth doing. I'll lose about 2 grand on the car I bought in January but I might have to just suck it up!

If you can, stick to manual. Changing to manual after driving automatic would be very hard if you are a nervous driver anyway, because getting the hang of it again would be a knock to your confidence.

What you need is a nice calm friend to come out with you in the car and just sit next to you and reassure you. And put the green P plates on to show you are an inexperienced driver, so people are more patient when you don't get a hill start first time.

I agree with PP. I recently changed to automatic (not really out of choice) and still unhappy about it. And when I’m driving a manual (rental car), it now throws me and takes a few days to adjust - and I have been driving for 25 years. M You should persevere with learning a manual car. It will give you a great sense of accomplishment. Do you have anyone that can go out with you and help you practice?

Being able to confidently drive a manual gives you so much more flexibility so I would try to persevere. Would you be in a position to buy some more lessons? Some instructors do offer lessons to new/nervous drivers and you can get some more exposure to dual carriageways and motorways too. Beyond that you need to have some time every day to go and have a drive out even if it’s just for 15 mins or so.

I voted you go automatic and I think that may suit. That said though getting over the annoyance of stalling and feeling the world is looking at you and getting annoyed if that's how it was is something that happens to lots of us at the early stages. You got a full manual licence first attempt! You're up for driving a campervan! Worth a bit of driving about at a quiet time with a friend to see how it is now!

Pay for a driving lesson to focus entirely on hill starts. That would probably help.

Whilst a lot of people could learn automatic and not miss manual, in your situation I’d persevere. It would be silly to not have the option to drive your camper or the car you have already purchased. Are you practicing outside of driving lessons?

Thanks everyone! I don't get as much time to practice as I'd like and I think that's part of the problem. Usually I'm either at work (train commute to work) or home with the kids and the really early times that I'd like to practice it's a struggle to get someone to come with me or sit with the kids. I think booking some refreshers could help me get some momentum again. Its more money but less than I'd lose selling this car 😁 I am a massive over thinker and feel like I'll forever be conscious of gear changes and stalling but I guess it must go at some point?!

Id always driven a manual then I had the chance to get an automatic through work as a company car, and then an electric car, and now I would never go back to manual! Ever! Automatic is just so easy. Even if you lose some money just change cars (if you can afford to) you'll feel so much more confident!

Make the switch, now. Get an electric car and just get out there. It’s the best thing I ever did! I was a nervous learner at 18, passed my test but didn’t drive consistently for years. When we moved out of London 10 years later and I needed to drive, I had refresher lessons but hated it and felt terrified all the time. Since we got an electric car I’ve felt completely freed. It’s so simple to drive and not having to worry about gears makes it easier to focus on making the right decisions for the road. I used to get paralysed at junctions because I was worried about pulling out and stalling, but now I’m confident which makes me much safer too. The only time it’s been an issue was when we briefly needed a courtesy car and they didn’t have an automatic, so DH had to drive us. But it sounds like that’s what you’re doing anyway so on the odd occasion it doesn’t hurt.

Get in your car and go out somewhere. Your DH can look after the kids.

You’ve passed your test.
You have a car.
Before long you won’t even notice gear changes - you’ll just do them.

You can do this

Now that it’s lighter in the mornings could you get up and go out pre rush hour like 6/7ish? Presumably your DH can cover the kids?

It doesn’t sound like you can’t do it, more that you had one incident of stalling and have now lost confidence and so haven’t tried again?

If that’s the case, then given the camper van situation, I’d persevere. Maybe pay for a lesson just to get confidence back up, and then go out at quiet times on quiet roads just to practice?

If you really couldn’t do it, or didn’t have the van, I’d say just switch.

@ClaretBC you are a better driver than you seem to think… u passed first time so you must be doing something right but i think the stalling on the hill and not being able to start again has knocked your confidence…
My advice would be to go out on short journeys at first and plan ahead so you know you are not going out in peak travel times and hills/ tricky roundabouts / dual carriageways etc… just try and get used to the feel of the car/biting point/clutch control doing a little longer each journey … you will eventually be so used to the car you will be in robotic mode… i think you have done the hard part by passing and you may feel like you have not fully accomplished if you now just pack in the manual for an auto… give it at least 3 months and go out EVERY day before making your mind up … good luck whatever you decide

My DC did Passplus with their instructor which if I remember correctly was two three hour periods driving with their instructor post passing including motorway and city driving.

Unfortunately, lessons teach you to pass your test rather than to drive on a day to day basis.

The sooner you can get two to three thousand miles under your belt the better.

I can only drive automatics now and it has no negative impact whatsoever. In the future there will be no manual drives anyway.

I agree. I had to switch to an automatic for physical reasons but it is so much easier to drive. I can't see the advantage of manuals.

I switched to manual. I just couldn't use the clutch. I don't regret it, I'd already done 2 years of lessons.

I much prefer driving auto! I’m still learning but after 10+ years of trying and failing manual (over and over again!), I feel so much more confident learning in my auto!! So so much easier and less things to remember!! They’re great if you’re a bit nervous about driving, really easy to drive!!
as for the camper van, get a tent and take the kids camping still!

Thank you, I really appreciate all the advice here. I'm thinking of contacting my instructor for some refreshers and being strict with myself about practice, if I still don't feel confident I might look to get an automatic or EV for journeys for days out with the kids and hope to gradually work on the van once I feel a more confident driver.