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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Manager Vaping in Work

62 replies

Mortimermay · 04/05/2025 22:29

My manager constantly vapes in the office I work in. He vapes all through meetings and quite often if you have to meet with him, it'll be in a small room with limited air flow which is full of vapour. He is aware its against company policy to do this inside as he doesn't do it in our main site where most employees work from.
I have nothing against people who vape, it doesn't bother me what they decide to do however I have asthma which is exacerbated by vapes. I have asked him repeatedly not to vape around me and explained why and he just ignores it or puts me in an awkward position in front of everyone by asking if it's OK. The last week was particularly bad as I had to have two extended meetings with him where the room was full of vapour before we even started and despite me asking him not to, he continued vaping anyway. I know that other colleagues find it irritating as well.
I really don't want to have to go to HR about this as we are a small team and he will know it was me which could make things difficult. On the other hand, I'm sick of asking him and sick of spending my evenings with a sore chest and wheezing due to spending hours confined in a vape filled room.
I can't understand why he thinks it's acceptable, aibu? And if I'm not, do I just start leaving the room every time he vapes after I've asked him not to or do I take the consequences and just report it to HR?

OP posts:
PenelopeK · 04/05/2025 22:31

How old is he? He seems to have no understanding of how to exist in an office.

If you’ve asked him repeatedly with no change, go to his manager or HR. But I would also make plans to leave if it becomes difficult.

Lovemybunnies · 04/05/2025 22:33

Absolutely report it. I wonder if this could potentially amount to constructive dismissal.

Original poster
Mortimermay · 04/05/2025 22:34

That's the worst part of it. He's almost 50 so should absolutely know better! To be honest I can only assume that he's extremely selfish and ignorant.

OP posts:
UpJacksArseAndRoundTheCorner · 04/05/2025 22:37

Every time he asks if it's ok, say "No it's not. Remember I keep saying it triggers my asthma?"

If he still doesn't give a shit, you'll have to go to HR I'm afraid.

Wholikesbreadandhoney · 04/05/2025 22:46

Second hand vape fumes might not be as lethal as second hand cigarette smoke but are still adversely affect the health of people forced to breathe them.
And the effects on someone such as yourself with asthma are serious.

You should report him to HR. Because whatever salary you earn I'm sure it's not enough to compensate for the possible long term effects of this selfish, ignorant man's behaviour.

NineteenSeventyNine · 04/05/2025 22:49

Go straight to HR. Do not pass go, do not collect £200.

nadine90 · 04/05/2025 22:51

I say this as a vaper and ex-smoker. Go to HR!
He doesn’t give a shit about you, your health or your comfort in the workplace. He’s a shit manager and human. Report him

fashionqueen0123 · 04/05/2025 22:58

That must be illegal. Go to HR. I wouldn’t give a hoot by this point.

TY78910 · 04/05/2025 23:03

It’s sackable

YehRight · 04/05/2025 23:07

Defo disrespectful and something you could report. That said, vapour usually dissipates almost immediately like steam so I'm surprised it's building up in the room. I used to vape in the work van seconds before pulling into the office car park to pick up my boss. Nobody ever noticed.

Ponderingwindow · 04/05/2025 23:13

I have a severe fragrance allergy and asthma. If a coworker pulled out a vape I would walk out of the room and contact hr immediately.

Stand up for yourself. Your manager is 100% wrong

YehRight · 04/05/2025 23:16

Ponderingwindow · 04/05/2025 23:13

I have a severe fragrance allergy and asthma. If a coworker pulled out a vape I would walk out of the room and contact hr immediately.

Stand up for yourself. Your manager is 100% wrong

Are your colleagues allowed to wear perfume or aftershave?

Ponderingwindow · 05/05/2025 03:05

YehRight · 04/05/2025 23:16

Are your colleagues allowed to wear perfume or aftershave?

Show quote history

I rarely go into the office. When I do, I have to ask that no one wears any fragrance. I can’t be around it at all.

it counts as a disability in my case

Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 08:31

YehRight · 04/05/2025 23:07

Defo disrespectful and something you could report. That said, vapour usually dissipates almost immediately like steam so I'm surprised it's building up in the room. I used to vape in the work van seconds before pulling into the office car park to pick up my boss. Nobody ever noticed.

You can't see it in the air but it definitely lingers, particularly in a small room with the door and window closed over several hours. The problem is that he vapes almost constantly, it's not just a few puffs here and there and he has one of the ones that let out huge clouds of vapour as well. One of my colleagues had said she can tell which rooms he's been in by the smell of the vape left behind, which is true.

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 05/05/2025 08:40

I would email him and put in writing your concerns and document what he is doing is against company policy and making younill.

I would then ask for a referral to occupational health if you have one.

Finally tell him not to vape when you are next meeting in a meeting room and if he continues leave

You need to tackle this head on. He is completely in the wrong.

Do you have a Trade Union to support you?

ACynicalDad · 05/05/2025 08:43

Start your video, say on camera you can’t stay in the room with him vaping, walk out. Try next meeting, repeat if needed, send to HR when you have 3 or 4.

Balloonhearts · 05/05/2025 08:57

YABU for not sticking up for yourself. If he asks is this OK, just say no! 'No, I have asthma, remember. ' I can't see how that is a difficult situation.

Walk out of the room if he is vaping and be open about why. You don't have to be confrontational about it, just say that you can't be around him if he is vaping.

Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 09:01

BlueMum16 · 05/05/2025 08:40

I would email him and put in writing your concerns and document what he is doing is against company policy and making younill.

I would then ask for a referral to occupational health if you have one.

Finally tell him not to vape when you are next meeting in a meeting room and if he continues leave

You need to tackle this head on. He is completely in the wrong.

Do you have a Trade Union to support you?

Occupational health might be a good idea actually. The thing is he knows that my asthma has worsened because I told him I'd been given a stronger inhaler and he knows that I've had to go to the Asthma Clinic twice recently due to this. I think its an element of selfishness and a complete lack of understanding of what asthma is. Once when I asked him not to vape as it was likely to set off my asthma he just said well let me know if you're going to have an asthma attack before it happens! It doesn't work like that! That was me letting you know when I asked you not to do it.
I am a member of the Union. That's a good idea as well.

OP posts:
littlebilliie · 05/05/2025 09:01

I would document I and raise as a grievance to HR

ABrandNewFamily · 05/05/2025 09:07

YehRight · 04/05/2025 23:07

Defo disrespectful and something you could report. That said, vapour usually dissipates almost immediately like steam so I'm surprised it's building up in the room. I used to vape in the work van seconds before pulling into the office car park to pick up my boss. Nobody ever noticed.

They'll definitely have noticed, unless you used non- flavoured vapes.

Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 09:07

Balloonhearts · 05/05/2025 08:57

YABU for not sticking up for yourself. If he asks is this OK, just say no! 'No, I have asthma, remember. ' I can't see how that is a difficult situation.

Walk out of the room if he is vaping and be open about why. You don't have to be confrontational about it, just say that you can't be around him if he is vaping.

The problem is that I have told him repeatedly and I have also left the room at times but we still end up in the same situation every time we meet. It's as though he doesn't want to hear that this is an ongoing situation. He acts as though it wasn't OK on Tuesday but I might be better on Wednesday. Its also a bit of a power trip because he will ask me pointedly in a group meeting if I have an issue with it. Its just tiring to be honest. The other issue is that sometimes I do actually need to speak with him/meet with him and don't really have the option as he's likely to disappear or be caught up with something else.

OP posts:
CatsWhiskerz · 05/05/2025 09:08

People dont know the long term effects of vaping or second hand vape yet, but its policy to not bale so he mustn't do it. Can you start by opening a window and door for air flow, and leave saying it's making your chest tight?

I'd definitely go to HR too - you've told him enough times it's affecting your health

PenelopeK · 05/05/2025 09:25

Do you absolutely have to be based where he is? If it suits you, I’m just wondering if you could ask HR/other manager to move to the office where you said he doesn’t vape. Then when you’re asked why, you explain the issues around your asthma (and his atrocious behaviour).

Ideally either they move you and you can only interact with him on phone/video/he visits and doesn’t vape, or they realise how much of an impact this is having on your current office and deal with him properly.

Original poster
Mortimermay · 05/05/2025 09:57

PenelopeK · 05/05/2025 09:25

Do you absolutely have to be based where he is? If it suits you, I’m just wondering if you could ask HR/other manager to move to the office where you said he doesn’t vape. Then when you’re asked why, you explain the issues around your asthma (and his atrocious behaviour).

Ideally either they move you and you can only interact with him on phone/video/he visits and doesn’t vape, or they realise how much of an impact this is having on your current office and deal with him properly.

Unfortunately I have to be mostly based at the office where he vapes so it means I'm more likely to have contact with him there than in the other buildings.
I really didn't want to have to go down the HR route but I think I'm going to have to because he just isn't listening.

OP posts:
Allthegoodhorses · 05/05/2025 10:08

God just reading this is making me cough. I can’t stand smoke or vape smoke. Makes me cough my guts up to the point of gagging. I’m an ex smoker too but I now have asthma following a chest infection. I’m quite wheezy. It’s is absolutely not ok to vape in front of people inside. You are not allowed to do it in most inside venues these days.

To be honest I’m not sure how you’ve tolerated it to date. I would absolutely be going to HR in your case. Does it say anything about smoking or vaping in your contract?

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