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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that my neighbour was being cheeky in asking me to babysit?

18 replies

cycler · 04/05/2025 20:37

I’ll try not to be too outing and this happened over two months ago now but I’m still a bit annoyed.

I’m a first time mum to a 2 month old baby and have one DSC. We have a couple down the road who we’re not particularly close with but have had a couple of play dates with in the past as the male has a child the same age as my DSC who he sees EOWeekend. He & his partner of 4+ years have recently had some issues and so she has moved out.

5 days after having my DC via c section, my partner received a message from the man suggesting they come to visit that evening. I wasn’t feeling too up to visitors (my own family had only just visited the day prior) but agreed as I know my DSC likes his child & didn’t want him to miss out on a play date. I also know that people enjoy visiting a new baby so partner & I squared up the house etc.

At about 7pm, 30 minutes before couple were due to arrive he messaged DP to say DC was just finishing his dinner & then he’d be dropping him round. At this point DP obviously asked what he meant as we’d presumed they’d all be visiting and CF DNeighbour replied that he was intending on dropping his son off for the playdate as the ex was coming round to “work things out” DP obviously explained there had been a miscommunication and we’d be unable to take the little one for a playdate.

It’s been 2 months and it’s been radio silence, I think we’ve inadvertently offended them. I think it was a little cheeky in trying to palm off a child that you only see for 4 nights a month anyway so you can have an empty house for the evening, especially on somebody with a tiny baby.

OP posts:
SevernWonders · 04/05/2025 20:38

What a CF, YANBU

CaptainMyCaptain · 04/05/2025 20:40

YANBU.

NuffSaidSam · 04/05/2025 20:41

YANBU

How old are these kids that they're young enough for a playdate but old enough to be having one at 7:30pm?!

Blackcountrychik83 · 04/05/2025 20:42

Wow some people really are selfish and only think of themselves . Good on you for standing up for yourself and not just being lumbered with this child whilst they had a free house to “sort things out”

youcannaecallherfanny · 04/05/2025 20:46

Some people have no shame. 5 days post cs? Bloody hell.

you are definitely not being unreasonable

WayneEyre · 04/05/2025 20:55

WHAT?! his he realise you'd just had a baby?!

Either way why not the good grace to apologise?
And what does he mean by 'work things out with his ex'??

Bobbybobbins · 04/05/2025 20:57

Yanbu cfer!!!!!

cycler · 04/05/2025 20:57

NuffSaidSam · 04/05/2025 20:41

YANBU

How old are these kids that they're young enough for a playdate but old enough to be having one at 7:30pm?!

The kids are 4 & 5 so admittedly 7:30 was a little late. Although I was expecting a visit from the parents too so thought it’d be a more tea/cake sort of thing whilst the children played, an hour max and then back home 30 seconds awayConfused

It was the weekend too and we were in no way in any sort of routine by that point! We’ve had their DC over for a playdate before & have had to awkwardly request they were picked up about 4 hours later Blush very wishy washy with timings & it’s hard to lie about having somewhere to be when they can see my car outside Grin

OP posts:
Blackcountrychik83 · 04/05/2025 21:06

Yeah that would’ve turned into an unexpected sleepover . They would’ve had an emergency or they wouldn’t have come back to collect him . You definitely avoided conflict .

DrummingMousWife · 04/05/2025 21:09

He knows he was a cheeky git and is now avoiding you.

Farkinhell · 04/05/2025 21:17

Well no contact since is great - does the job of 'unfriending' for you!

youcannaecallherfanny · 04/05/2025 21:29

These people aren’t friends of yours. They are users.

EdithStourton · 04/05/2025 21:33

Proper CF-ery there, OP.

Now you know what he's like, you can be on your guard if he ever contacts you again.

meganorks · 04/05/2025 21:34

Wow! Glad you spoke up. Absolute pisstakers!

FumingTRex · 04/05/2025 22:06

Oh wow, i would always do a favour for a neighbour, but not 5 days after a c section, and not if they tried to dress it up as “visiting”. CFs!

healthybychristmas · 05/05/2025 00:19

He has realised he can't use you and so doesn't want anything to do with you.

ObsidianTree · 05/05/2025 07:34

Was the ex wife really visiting to sort things out? Or did he want to go out and needed to palm his kid off?

Well, no loss for you anyway op! Sounds like it would have turned into a constant babysitting arrangement

Eldermillennialmum · 05/05/2025 07:38

Well at 7:30 surely he could have put the child to bed and the ex could have come round after that?!

Why are you upset about this OP? Is it because your SDS misses the child? Otherwise I wouldn't worry about it. They were being cheeky! I'd have said my own DS is going to bed so it's too late for a play date. As you say, it's different if they are popping round together to see baby.

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