AIBU for wanting a little bit of privacy?

[SingleRoo123]

Hi 👋 My daughter takes my phone without me knowing or she will just grab it from me to check on Instagram or X/Twitter for example. She looks through my photos and looks on my apps. She is almost 13. I’m single and have joined all the usual dating apps. My daughter goes into them or checks my messages and starts asking about them or who a certain guy is. AIBU to want a little bit of privacy? I am constantly guarding my phone and hiding apps. I have set up Face ID for some of the apps so she can’t get into them but it doesn’t really make a difference as she knows my passcode. My life is basically not my own to be honest. I have spoken with DD and asked her to stop taking my phone but it’s like talking to a brick wall. I am even hesitant to post this in case she takes my phone and checks my emails and sees I have posted this. Any advice would be appreciated 😊

Seriously, stop being such a wimp. Change your passcode and stop letting your daughter behave as she wants. This is a ridiculous situation to be in and you’re acting as if you’re powerless. Parent her. Have boundaries.

edited: and yes I did see the ‘changing passcodes is hard for me.’ She’s not your ex. She’s your 13 year old daughter. Change your password and stop letting your child dictate to you and walk all over you.

No, you’ve had a tough time - but you do now need to get tougher with her. Mine would have had serious consequences if they had done this.

Change passcode now and make sure she doesn’t see you entering it. Tell her firmly that access to your phone has stopped. If she doesn’t respect that, she will lose her phone or whatever will have the most impact.

She needs to learn to respect other people’s privacy. That includes her mum’s.

Sounds like she has seen OP’s ex-partner going into OP’s phone so has never learnt that phones can be private.

Well, your daughter is showing some controlling behaviours, which is very worrying.

Parent your child.

She's THIRTEEN, you're making excuses.

And considering this has been posted before, the OP knows she needs to change the phone access and start doing some parenting.

I can't be the only one reflecting on what my mother's response would've been to me taking ANYTHING out of her hand or without permission. I never dared - but it would only have happened once...

But it’s not impossible? And it’s the obvious solution

Sometimes you have to do hard things.

Look at it differently. You need to teach your DD that taking and checking someone’s phone without asking is not ok. It’s a sign of control and abuse. So tackle it before she gets herself into trouble with friends.
Also she might need a bit of extra reassurance about how you love her and less info about your dating life. She is probably worried that’s why she is checking.

Silly thread.

Dont be so ridiculous! Wake up and parent for the love of god

Isn't it?

Have you tried, maybe… parenting her?

She obviously thinks it is normal behaviour, since that's what she has seen from your ex

Tell her " new rule. Dont touch my fucking phone".

Has she got her own phone?

Can you use fingerprint ID?

She's 13, not 3 🙄

And since her mother keeps telling her to stop, she'll be under no false illusion that it's 'normal behaviour'.

Hi, lol I’m a teen pretty rare find on here. F 14.

Nah, not that rare.

Although many 'F 14' posters and similar have been banned over the years for trolling, oh and for calling other members 'actual assholes'.

You're spitting pearls! I'm taking notes.