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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you’re sounding the horn all the time you’re the one with the problem?!

37 replies

cadburyegg · 04/05/2025 19:38

Whilst driving home today there was a queue at a junction. We were all turning right and there was lots of traffic travelling fast in both directions, so it took awhile to pull out. I was about third in line when the driver of the car behind me started sounding their horn. Carried on doing this with each car in front. It got to my turn and sure enough after a minute or so the driver started up again. There really hadn’t been any chance for me to go! I looked in my rearview mirror and they (and their passenger) were gesticulating rudely.

i see so many impatient drivers but AIBU to think if you’re beeping your horn at everyone then maybe you’re the one with the issue and you need to be more patient?! I don’t understand this complete lack of self awareness. I can’t remember the last time I used my horn!

OP posts:
feelingbleh · 04/05/2025 19:42

Yanbu I could count on one hand the amount of times iv beeped my horn in 15 years of driving. It's there to warn other drivers of dangers not because your inpatient as it doesn't help it just stresses people out and a way of drivers to bully other road users.

Badbadbunny · 04/05/2025 19:53

Yup, it's just mindless bullying. I've been driving 43 years and probably sounded my horn less than a handful of times, always as a warning of "I'm here" as per the Highway Code rather than in an aggressive manner. Once or twice another driver has sounded their horn at me for a genuine reason, i.e. not noticing the traffic lights had changed. Luckily, I've only had relatively few bullies using their horn in an aggressive/bullying manner, but I just ignore them.

Brefugee · 04/05/2025 19:54

yeah, i tend to "stall" on those occasions and miss 2 opportunities to go. Just because.

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

Flipflop93 · 04/05/2025 20:02

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

I don't think thats rude. Cyclists should sound their bell to let people know they are there. It doesn't mean get out of the way. Or that wasn't my understanding.

Motherknowsrest · 04/05/2025 20:03

Yanbu. I hardly ever beep my horn, probably a handful of times in my life. I think it's usually just when someone is about to do some daft reversing in a car park.

Brefugee · 04/05/2025 20:04

Flipflop93 · 04/05/2025 20:02

I don't think thats rude. Cyclists should sound their bell to let people know they are there. It doesn't mean get out of the way. Or that wasn't my understanding.

agree, if a cyclist is coming up behind someone (shared path, or they are walking on the cycle path) it is important to let them know you're coming up behind them.

Seeingadistance · 04/05/2025 20:06

Flipflop93 · 04/05/2025 20:02

I don't think thats rude. Cyclists should sound their bell to let people know they are there. It doesn't mean get out of the way. Or that wasn't my understanding.

I appreciate the warning that a cyclist is coming up behind me, and thank those that ring their bell.

Or do you mean those that ring their bell when you are able to see them?

Mumteedum · 04/05/2025 20:06

I sound mine fairly often but I live near a dangerous mini roundabout and I'm doing it before the asshats from my left plough into me becoming they don't look!

faerietales · 04/05/2025 20:15

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

That's just good manners, isn't it? Confused

Itsjustgonenoonhalfpastmonsoon · 04/05/2025 20:22

I’ve had my car for 12 years and I don’t think I’ve ever used the horn. The same for my previous cars. Bleeping horns may be the soundtrack of NYC but it’s damn infuriating elsewhere. Rarely are they used for the purpose they’re meant for.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 04/05/2025 20:25

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

See this I don’t get. How am I supposed to alert them to my presence then?!

Yatzydog · 04/05/2025 20:30

I got dinged today and it was a definite "get out of my way", otherwise they would have slowed down.

SnakesAndArrows · 04/05/2025 20:31

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

If you’re approaching a pedestrian from behind on a shared path you absolutely should sound your bell. Cyclists who pass without making their presence known well in advance are a menace.

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:25

SnakesAndArrows · 04/05/2025 20:31

If you’re approaching a pedestrian from behind on a shared path you absolutely should sound your bell. Cyclists who pass without making their presence known well in advance are a menace.

If It's implausible to pass they should loiter behind. If it's plausible they can just pass

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:26

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 04/05/2025 20:25

See this I don’t get. How am I supposed to alert them to my presence then?!

If there is room to pass you don't need to

SunnySideDeepDown · 05/05/2025 08:27

Id have stuck my reverse lights on. Then intentionally have taken longer! better yet, I’d they could see me, I’d laugh.

They have anger problems and are trying to intimidate you. Silly twats (them).

malmi · 05/05/2025 08:34

There are signs on the canal towpath telling cyclists to ding twice and pass nice. It’s just a way of making sure walkers stay on one side or the other of the path. For everyone’s safety.

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:36

faerietales · 04/05/2025 20:15

That's just good manners, isn't it? Confused

Maybe some like it, I don't

SnakesAndArrows · 05/05/2025 08:57

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:25

If It's implausible to pass they should loiter behind. If it's plausible they can just pass

As I said, cyclists who do this are a menace. Have some respect for people who don’t want to be surprised by you suddenly appearing at their shoulder.

Seeingadistance · 05/05/2025 09:00

GotToWearShades · 05/05/2025 08:26

If there is room to pass you don't need to

I don't always walk in a straight line though - I might move to one side or the other as I walk along, maybe to look at something or to avoid something on the path. Pedestrians are not stationary objects!

Throwingitallaway24 · 05/05/2025 09:04

I had this last week, fast flowing traffic from the right of me on a busy roundabout and it’s as simple as you just have to wait for a good gap. I only drive a C1 and had my toddler in the back so can’t just pull off quickly all the time and wouldn’t take the risk with her in the car anyway. Two men in high vis in a car behind me beeped me for not going (genuinely wouldn’t have made it across in my car!) called me a stupid cunt out of their window and then when I did proceed they followed close behind and beeped at me all the way around the roundabout. Wish I’d remembered the reg but didn’t. But they’re the ones with the issue I do that roundabout daily and have done for the last 8 months, never had any sort of incident before that.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 05/05/2025 09:07

GotToWearShades · 04/05/2025 19:57

Also cyclists who can't share a path without dinging their bells at pedestrians. I'm both a cyclist and a pedestrian and don't ding my bell at people

Well you should, I'm perplexed as to why you wouldn't warn pedestrians of your approach.

StrawberrySquash · 05/05/2025 09:10

SnakesAndArrows · 04/05/2025 20:31

If you’re approaching a pedestrian from behind on a shared path you absolutely should sound your bell. Cyclists who pass without making their presence known well in advance are a menace.

The bell tells me not to suddenly veer left or whatever while they are passing. Long as it's politely done I welcome a bell; it helps us share the space sensibly.

StrawberrySquash · 05/05/2025 09:14

YABU, OP. If there's a nervous driver in front of you the worst thing to do is make them more so by beeping your horn! I don't mind a quick toot if the lights turn green and I appear not to have noticed as that's my fault. But I don't do it personally as you risk the person panicking and driving off as the lights go red.