11.5 month old ? Autism.

[MummaHud]

My little boy Hudson is 13 months old, but he should only be 11.5months old ( we are told to go by corrected age until 2 years ) as he was premature.

The health visitor at his 12 months review said he’s not doing so good with his communication & I’ve googled, I just want the best for my boy and want to help him in anyway I can. I’m enjoying him so much, I just don’t want to feel like I’m failing him by not pushing ( I feel I’ve already done this by giving birth prem)

Has anyone else’s children been in this situation and what was the outcome? Neurodiverse or Neurotypical.

My little boy;
• doesn’t wave, point or clap

• has no words.

• no want to imitate us.

• he loves wheels of cars / toys / his walker.

• he responds to his name 60% of the time, dependent on what he’s doing.

• he does social smile & laugh, to things such as peekaboo.

• comes over to you if he’s sad and will climb up your legs to be picked up.

• babbles a lot

• gets excited when his sister comes into the room.

• if we are reading a book, he will stop what he’s doing and come over ( that’s not my duck- sort of books, and will touch where we touch )

• he isn’t bothered by different tastes or textures, loves most food but likes to be spoon fed.

• won’t feed himself his own bottle or juice.

• he sleeps very well.

• makes good eye contact

• excited when grandparents come round or are on FaceTime.

• smiles at strangers.

He has had a few ear infections, so was referred to audiology, he has glue ear and has a follow up in 2 months.

I’m mainly worried about the waving, pointing and clapping and lack of words. It’s like he’s rather crawl off and climb the stairs than sit still and learn from us!

Anyone else whose 1 year old wasn’t waving, clapping or pointing ( or words ) I feel I see everyone else doing what he can’t and it’s cutting me up

I’m not a child development specialist but he sounds perfect to me

why do you suspect autism?

my cousin who is extremely autistic had very clear and unavoidable signs by 1 for example he would scream the place down if you spoke to him etc plus all the typical signs and symptoms in extreme form

Hi OP, your son sounds adorable. I love the bit about him getting excited when his sister comes in the room! i don't know much about child development at all but I do know things like glue ear can mean children don't pick up speech as quickly - as you might imagine if you can't hear the sounds so well. He sounds quite mobile as well? Some people told me that kids often do one or the other first and focus on that - walk or talk, then do the other one after.

Oh gosh, I wish I could wrap you up and take this anxiety away from you! I get it so so much, analysing everything because you’re so worried and anxious and just want the best for your child. Absolutely nothing you’ve said here is a red flag for me - he is still so, so little and is communicating in different ways. Don’t worry about the wheels thing - my 3.5 year old has been obsessed with wheels/ anything that spins since he was tiny, and he is not autistic. He was also delayed in other areas (didn’t walk and talk until 2.5 etc) but it’s amazing how much he’s catching up now. He has a very serious medical condition and so is under the care of what feels like every department of the NHS and of course every one and their dog has scrutinised him for autism, but he’s showing no signs at all. He sounds a lot like your son at his age. Putting my professional hat on (teacher) then glue ear can have serious ramifications for effective communication, so it’s great that he’s already been referred - well done! Honestly deep breaths and (this is so trite to say because if only it was this easy) try not to feed your anxiety - it sounds like you’re both doing great x

At my son's 13 mnth check up he was described as a happy and sociable child, good early language skills and engaged. He clapped and made eye contact, sought adult engagement and copied sounds and she described him as bubbly and hoped I was getting joy from him.

He's autistic

You see, we can force the evidence to fit a conclusion we already have. You are worried so anything we say you will either discount or endorse depending on whether it fits your feelings. It's all anecdotal.

Speak to your health visitor. Only they can give you reassurances and there's a whole childhood of worry in front of you, you need to share your concerns with the right people

I wouldn't expect any 1 yr old to have words.

I am not concerned about your little boy at all.

Any concerns about communication, it is always worth getting hearing checked, but not yet.

This is what I was going to say. My DS was a late talker but absolutely no concerns at all.

Nothing you've described suggests autism to me. Your son may be a little slower in some areas of his development but nothing outside the normal range. If you want to encourage pointing, clapping and waving, you can do that through play (Where's Daddy? exaggerated pointing There he is!) Clapping along to nursery rhymes etc but please try not to worry. Your little one sounds fine 🙂

The health visitor told me my DD had concerning speech delay at this age. She never bloody shuts up now. I really wouldn’t worry yet, he’s still tiny.

My ds was diagnosed ASD around 12 months.

I first noticed something wrong around 5 months but EVERYONE just reassured me that their DC were just the same, etc, etc so I didn't follow it up immediately and felt I was making a fuss.

All children are different. Nothing you've written suggests definitely ASD but if you feel there is an issue then please do follow up on it.

I can absolutely relate to the stress you’re feeling right now but please try not to worry. Chances are he is fine. The health visitor is ticking off a check list. Hudson is an individual and is likely to get to where he needs to be in his own time.
When my DS4 was 2 he still wasn’t speaking and had us all worried, then one day he just started talking and now everyone is complimenting the range of his vocabulary and clarity etc.
At this age is it so difficult to really know if anything is a problem.

From what you have described I wouldn’t be worried. Did the HV say what she would like to happen next if she said she thought Hudson is not doing so well with his communication?

Sounds fine to me. I have 3 DC and they all developed differently. Youngest didn't point at all as a baby. Literally couldn't tell you when he started, when he turned 2 he only had 3 words. I wouldn't expect words at 13 months anyway. He's now 6 and never stops talking. He was also a part time name responder - like you say depending on what he was doing and how interesting it was 😂.

Try not to worry, sounds like you're doing a great job with your DC

On the other side of the coin I have a non verbal agoraphobic teen who was a dream baby and we didn’t suspect a thing.

i think what I’m trying to say is that all babies are different and it’s far too early to put developmental variances down to autism, or anything else for that matter.

If he has had glue ear that will have affected his speech more than you perhaps realise. We realised my son had it at 6 when he was really struggling at school and with his speech. After the operation everything turned around but it has taken three years still for him to catch up. So your sons lack of speech at 13 months really wouldn’t be surprising.

i wonder if it also ties in with the waving and clapping. If he can’t hear people saying “hiii!” Or hear them clapping then he might not wave or clap himself? I don’t know though. He sounds adorable.

@IReallyLoveItHere can I ask what you noticed in your son pls

OP first off, he sounds absolutely delightful and nothing the future brings will take that away.

Even if he were to have ASD to some degree he will still be your wonderful baby, there are many variations in how ASD can present and don’t listen to the worst case stories, a lot of the literature is unhelpful.

There is a wide degree of variation within normal development but a couple of perhaps more subtle signs to watch out for - does he copy you? Eg if you stick your tongue out. And does he engage in reciprocal back and forth babbling eg you make a noise, pause for him to make a noise back with delighted eye contact, and then he pauses for you again?

My DC2 was a delightful smiley baby who laughed with joy at me and his brother, read books with us, would hold up his arms to be picked up, but never copied us (he could copy actions eg how to operate a toy, but not our facial expressions or noises) and would do peekaboo but not reciprocal babbling, and did not point till 18 months. He was diagnosed with some differences in social communication (not full blown autism) and was late talking but is still an absolute joy.

Things I found that helped (and will help even if he is NT) is to engage with him on his interests and then try to take those a stage further and be more interactive, eg if he loves wheels try to make an interactive game incorporating that with lots of fun. Don’t try to force him to do things you think he should be interested in, because if he is on the spectrum he will struggle to focus on things that someone else wants him to, it’s much better to start from his own interests and work from there.

Ps I had another one with glue ear so have experience of both. I would say the difference is in the quality of social / reciprocal interaction

With autism likely to avoid eye contact not interact etc. I'm thinking more likely hearing related. If his not hearing clearly to learn words he can't repeat them.

@Ireallyloveithere also interested in what signs your child had at 5 months. I noticed signs straight away with my 5th but couldn't get a referral until he was 3 years old and he was diagnosed aged 6. The paediatrician thought he had a severe sight problem aged 4 months though as he made no eye contact at all and wouldn't smile.

Diagnosed by who ?
In what country ?

Highly unlikely to have been in the UK my own severely autistic non verbal teen wasent, diagnosed until he was three and a half and it was blindingly obvious and it still took 7 months of assessments to get a diagnosis by 12 months the child wouldn't have been old enough to have completed the assessments ,and so much can change at such a young age .

hi lovely, what were the signs your darling son had??? My parents and my partner aren’t seeing what I’m seeing and are pretty much belittling my feelings to the situation

With respect your child is very young and was also.premature so some slight development delay might be normal
At this age I would just keep.an eye on things ,keep.your health visitor,involved with your concerns ,as they can refer you to all relevant agencies if necessary in not trying to dismiss your concerns ,but if there is any Neuro diversity it will become increasingly apparent the older your child gets.

He sounds lovely.
So sorry you are so stressed.
None of mine had a word at 12 months and all spoke late.

The best tip I was given was to get a bag of small plastic farm animals and go the sounds of each every day as a fun game.

These sounds are a foundation of speech and very helpful. Cat, dog, cow, horse, donkey, sheep, duck etc.
Make it fun.
I would be careful of expecting too much of such a small baby.
They all develop so differently.

Mind yourself, you sound like a fab mum.