to think this is sub-par facilitating from DP?

[NeedToShareEek]

I have a big piece of work to do for Tuesday. I have to work today.

DP very kindly offered to, in his words, 'facilitate' me to do what I need today.

He said he's do all the cleaning, taking my half as well as his.

He said he'd keep me supplied with tea, bringing me a brew every hour or so, or that I should text him when I want one.

He said he'd do this evening's dog walk.

At 8am, I thought "Brilliant, that clears me the whole day to get on with this work. What a lovely DP I have"

It's 4pm.

He's started the cleaning but the house looks like a warzone with various hoover bits, bottles, cloths and rubber gloves everywhere. It may of course get done by the end of the day but why such a bloody fuss about it?

He absolutely has not provided adequate tea. He made one cup this morning. He made me none this afternoon. I texted him at 2pm with a request for a brew. By 3:30pm he hadn't read the message so I just made it my bloody self.

I'm now out with the dog because the dog's antsy but he can't tear himself away from the snooker at this moment.

This thread is kind of light-hearted. But I am actually a bit pissed off. But I'm also feeling sorry for myself that I have to work today so it might be that.

Just ranting.

Yep, definitely sub-par facilitating! 😃

YANBU. He's let you down.

Sounds like a typical bloke to me.

Not sure I'd be light hearted about it

My exh used to facilitate my lie in on a Saturday.. He would take 3 small dc downstairs and make their breakfast.. Cereal..
Then send them up to play in their bedrooms.. Either side of our bedroom.. While he napped on the couch downstairs..
Exh...

Give him the sack

Not in my experience. Im similar circumstances DH would do what he offered to do. To cover all child/dog/cleaning related requirements in the day so I could work.

I wouldn't be feeling light-hearted in the least about being so let down. Not sure why OP is claiming it's lighthearted.

Call him up to your office for a surprise appraisal :

intention - excellent
execution - requires improvement

Make sure he brings you a cuppa and a biscuit

Awful - he got the kudos with the promise and couldn't live up to it.

Why say he’ll do it if he won’t?

Both the tea and the cleaning. I would almost be more upset re the tea as that affects you immediately and directly.

The dog walk is also shit - but can you almost see the dog walk as a nice thing? Not to let him off the hook but just to save your sanity.

Is he one of those people who love the 'thanks-in-advance' when they offer to do something, then don't follow through because they have already had the thanks so there is nothing more to be gained from actually doing the thing.

It is a kind of fraud in my view. Offer a favour, get attention and thanks and your ego stroked, then don't follow through.

Really annoys me when DH says one thing but does another. In fairness to him, he's great at supporting me when I have a deadline but general stuff he'll say one thing but do another and be totally breezy about it.

I'm still trying to find a way to resolve this. Sometimes it really doesn't matter what it is but the principle annoys me all the same.

Not lighthearted.

All talk and no trousers!

I'm not trying to make excuses at all.

He's always a messy cleaner. It freaks me out. He flits from one task and one room to another. He always does it to a very high standard but it takes him a while and the process is painful to watch.

He's terrible with tea because he's basically a cactus. He doesn't drink enough himself. So it just doesn't cross his mind to make a drink throughout the day. I've tried getting revenge for his sub-par brew performance before by not getting him drinks. I've ended up parched and he hasn't noticed at all. I genuinely think it just hasn't crossed his mind. But, yep, he shouldn't have promised it. Tea is very important to me.

His excuse for the dog is that he'll take her later, she can wait until there's a break in the snooker. Technically true but she's an animal of habit and goes insane if she has to wait too long for a walk. As PP said, its nice being out for the dog walk though I could've used this time on my work which is still waiting for me when I get home.

There’s no point having good intentions if you don’t execute them 🤷‍♀️

He bigged himself up and then let you down. It would have been better if he’d just been honest and said; “I’m going to do half hour of half-hearted cleaning, make one cup of tea and then spend the rest of the day on the sofa. I’ll expect you to walk the dog and finish cleaning the house when you’ve stopped working and then you can cook me dinner.”

If he’s going to be an arsehole, he could at least be honest about it.

Chill. You probably needed a break anyway. Enjoy the walk with your dog.

The cleaning will get done, if past experience is anything to go by. You may do it more efficiently, but that’s his problem.

Who's cooking dinner?

'Cooking' is quite grandiose - he'll shove two fish pies in the oven and boil the kettle for green beans. I'll help plate up.

Yeah he got to feel good by promising all this, but the actual execution is too much like hard work.

I wouldn't be impressed.