To take some time off work sick

[flapjackfriday]

The last few years have been tough. Obviously the pandemic was rough in general but I was forced to leave a job that I loved and move back in with my mum. The isolation and stress affected my mental health and I ended up depressed and on antidepressants for the first time in my life (which I still take) and I still go to counselling.
It took me a long time to get another job which was tricky because my relationship with my mum is complicated and very painful at times and without a decent job I wasn't able to move out.
Thankfully I got a job eventually and while I'm grateful, my current job can be very stressful. I manage a team of 11 staff and there have been a lot of changes in our organisation that we've had no control over, often at very short notice. As a result my workload has increased a lot and my manager, while friendly and nice, is a bit ineffectual at supporting me.
I have however just bought my first house which is amazing. But it requires some work before I can move in and that has been exhausting too.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, a lot of my community has changed in the last year or so and I miss a lot of the familiar faces I used to see week in week out.
My grandad died about 18 months ago and just this week my nanny has died too. The family dynamics/relationships with both of them were complicated so I feel a lot of mixed emotions.
I feel overwhelmed with it all and I just need life to stop for a bit. WIBU to phone in sick to work? If I do, how long for? In the last 2 years I've only ever had 1 day off so I'm really not used to taking time off sick

Its life OP.

Grandparents die, sorry, but they do.

Work is stressful, this is what weekends and AL are for.

Take two weeks off, but what will actually change?

Your job will still be stressful and you will still have lost your grandparents.

What will having 2 weeks off actually do for you?

Turn it around, you have a job, a home, you are free to control your own evening and weekends - you are more fortunate than a lot of others

Op, ignore the martyrs

You sound burned out and exhausted. This is a mental health issue. You must put yourself first.

Your manager is not a support mechanism, she can only signpost.

Do you have an employee assistance programme that you can utilise? Some companies offer counceling services, financial, legal and health advice via something like this.

What annual leave do you have? How can you use it effectively to give yourself a break?

Are you safe? From yourself and from others?

OP your health is the most important thing here and if you are feeling like this then yes getting signed off for a reset would be helpful.

It’s often a race to the bottom on Mumsnet! So you won’t get much support here. Stress can have a huge impact on the body and can lead to other conditions. Do not underestimate the impact of unmanaged stress. You need to get this under control in any way you can.

I worry though after the time off that you will be back to more of the same? Can you change jobs? I’d be looking at some long term solutions.

Also ways of dealing with stress - medication, some supplements are good, yoga, sleeping well etc.

You're dealing with grief, on top of stress, so no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed. That is in itself a very good reason to take some sick leave. Treating and getting on top of it now prevents burnout later down the road.

Oh good grief. Take some leave. Unless you are superfluous to the business functioning at which point maybe look for another job.

I would go and speak to your GP about how you are feeling. I think some of the comments you’re getting here are on the harsh side; I’ve been signed off work for my mental health before and was all the better for doing so. It also prompted a conversation and discussion about the meds I was taking which was really useful.

Stress can be very hard and time away from work can be just the ticket. i had 10 weeks of with work-related stress in 2019. You may not need that long but i would recommend going to your GP and getting signed off, that way you have a note to give to your boss rather than just ringing in and they can't discipline you for it.

Alot off stress can lead to mental health problems so you can't say op is not sick!

@flapjackfriday Take a couple of days off sick and see how you feel.

Look after yourself ☕️

As this is a new job, I would be wary about too much sick leave. It might be stressful in work, but being without work might well be rather more so.

Why not discuss your anti depressant regime with your GP?
It sounds as if they aren't really working for you right now - a heavier dose or different medication might help.
Why not just book a couple of days annual leave?

This is what annual leave is for. Book days off. You're not sick, though if you want to convince yourself that you are and are owed some sick leave because you've not used much, then you'll do that anyway and don't need endorsing.

i think only you can make that decision.
would two weeks off make a different to your feeling of being overwhelmed though?
wouldnt it still be there?

You need to take annual leave. Maybe start looking for a job with a lot less responsibility if you can’t manage.

This is just life OP!

Just take a holiday, like the rest of us. Your paid holiday is there to subsidise you having a break from work, not sick leave.

This. I don't know why you are getting such harsh responses, OP. You sound close to burnout and that is not a good place to be. I would be surprised if a GP wouldn't sign you off for a week or two if you explain how you're feeling.