Sisters in law

[clinellwipe]

I guess not so much AIBU more is this acceptable?!

DH announced expecting our second child in autumn - didn’t hear anything back from the two SIL (age 24 and 30). Fair enough. It was DS 3rd birthday and they didn’t say anything/send anything, ok fair enough.

DS in and out of hospital for 7 weeks with bowel obstruction earlier this year, extremely upsetting time, is still under investigations and will be having a MRI of his spine under general anaesthetic in a couple of weeks. Again, no contact from SIL. MIL sent a txt saying “oh dear poor mite”

Had DD by c section last week, was a little bit hairy with her going to NICU but we are home now. I haven’t heard a single thing , no congrats etc. DH had posted pics in his family whatsapp the day she was born and they sent one word responses “congrats”.

I know everyone has shit going on in their lives, I don’t expect my kids to be centre of attention… but in an age (and a generation) where people are constantly on their phones I don’t know why they haven’t sent a WhatsApp over last 6 months to ask after DS etc. AIBU to think this is odd?!

to avoid drip feed - I made a huge effort when meeting them, had them as bridesmaids, I let them pick their dresses and I sent them the money and they knowingly overcharged me to make a small profit (!) which all came out accidentally at the hen so I’ve been wary of them since then

Yeah that's totally shitty behaviour imo... unless there's some huge backstory.

Screw them. They have clearly demonstrated what you and your kids mean to them. Congrats on the new baby. Ignore the arseholes.

It's sad but it sounds alike they are the kind of people who if more involved would probably make your life a nightmare. So focus on a bullet dodged rather than hoping they'd step up more.

I find it's helpful to deal with people based on how they behave rather than how many degrees of connection we have.

My mum showed fuck all interest in my kids.
My stepmum was besotted but more involved with her daughter's family.
My best mate was there for me every step of the way.

Ugh, they sound awful but typically English.

My partner’s half sister (my child’s aunt!) is the same. Not even a word of congratulations. His dad and brother aren’t much better.

Whereas on my side of the family I have 6th cousins of my mother sending beautiful cards, $100 gifts and all sorts.

World’s apart. If I had my chance again I’d marry Irish or American. Far more decent people.

My question would be why are you bothering to have any contact with them at all? They've made it clear that they have no interest in you or your children. If I were you, I would concentrate on my own family and not give SILs one more minute of headspace. And I'd tell your DH that it's up to him how much contact he has with them but don't expect any effort from you!

Thank you for responses! I’m one of these people who doesn’t like people disliking me (and surely they must) even though I don’t like them! Hoping as I get older I’ll care less what people think as it doesn’t deserve my headspace

Thanks everyone

You're a delight.

Sounds perfect going forward
. You need not give 2 shits about fitting any of them into your lives...
If dh wants dc to have a relationship with any of them leave it to him to manage...
Your time is officially your own op.
Haven't seen ils for over a decade and it's bloody marvellous..

I am not English but I disagree strongly with this. There are lots of English families who are loving and caring of families, lots of really tight-knit families who are generous and kind. This is not about race (and it's weird that you've tried to make it about race...)