Chased through car park - PTSD trigger

OrwellianTimes · 2025-05-03T23:04:09+00:00

No AIBU, just a desperate plea for someone to talk some sense to me as I can’t sleep and can’t stop crying. I had a wonderful morning out with my daughter at local shopping centre and movie, walked over to a big supermarket next door to pick up some bits, and there’s a quiet secluded overflow car park that you have to walk through to get from one to another. As we walked through the path just chatting there was a man with big transit van,parked across multiple bays, sliding door open. We paid him no attention but as we walked past he picked up our conversation and butted in, I politely shrugged him off and kept walking, but he kept calling after us, then started shouting and following us. I grabbed my daughter’s hand and walked faster and he sped up following us. I started to run towards the store knowing there’s always a big tough security guy there, and this man started running after us shouting. i told security but the guy followed us into the store so I ran off and hid in the aisles and found another employee and I called the police. the security refused him entry, and he eventually left and wondered off, and the store staff kindly walked us back to my car, they explained they’ve had a few instances of a man targeting women with children. I’m so shaken, I don’t know how to calm down from this. I’ve got PTSD from fleeing domestic violence when I was in my 20’s and I can’t even tell if I’m over-reacting or not. The police checked the cctv and they could see what happened but he’s parked in such a way they apparently couldn’t get his registration number and he left before they arrived so nothing they could do.

ninjahamster · 04/05/2025 00:19

You poor thing, what a horrible thing to happen. I’m not surprised you are struggling. Talk about it to people if it helps, you need to allow yourself to process it x

WaltzingWaters · 04/05/2025 00:24

I’m so sorry this happened to you and your Dd. Sounds very scary. I’m glad the people at the store were helpful and didn’t allow him entry. How old is your Dd? Is she okay? Try to take it easy and talk it through with someone trusted, and discuss it in an age appropriate manner with your Dd if she seems as though she needs to.
You are not overreacting though and your feelings are very valid. It sounds like a scary thing to happen.

TheFatCatsWhiskers1 · 04/05/2025 00:24

You’re safe now. I’m sorry that happened to you. I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.

Victim Support have a live chat function open 24/7. I spoke to someone on there when I was a victim of a crime and shaken like you. The woman I spoke to was so kind to me.

Original poster

OrwellianTimes · 04/05/2025 00:28

WaltzingWaters · 04/05/2025 00:24

I’m so sorry this happened to you and your Dd. Sounds very scary. I’m glad the people at the store were helpful and didn’t allow him entry. How old is your Dd? Is she okay? Try to take it easy and talk it through with someone trusted, and discuss it in an age appropriate manner with your Dd if she seems as though she needs to.
You are not overreacting though and your feelings are very valid. It sounds like a scary thing to happen.

She’s a preteen and didn’t clock that he was being weird, she only clocked that I was scared, she didn’t really seem to be bothered by it (I distracted her in the store with buying her a magazine) but I’ll chat some more with her tomorrow

OP posts:

WaltzingWaters · 04/05/2025 00:37

OrwellianTimes · 04/05/2025 00:28

She’s a preteen and didn’t clock that he was being weird, she only clocked that I was scared, she didn’t really seem to be bothered by it (I distracted her in the store with buying her a magazine) but I’ll chat some more with her tomorrow

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If she seemed somewhat oblivious to it and not phased by it since you don’t need to bring it up if she doesn’t.

You could of course use it as a way of trying to explain stranger danger and awareness to her if you wanted to, but only if you feel it appropriate and won’t scare her too much. If you feel she’s okay and you’d rather not discuss it with her for now that’s okay also.

SummerIce · 04/05/2025 01:14

Of course you can’t sleep or stop crying - you’ve been through a terrifying ordeal so no wonder you’re still on edge.

The main thing is that it’s now over, and you are now safe. Don’t bottle up your feelings - talk about it and take the time you need to recover.

Apreslapluielesoleil · 04/05/2025 01:29

A horrible experience, your brain is trying to process what happened. You handled it exactly right, sounds like you kept your dd calm.
He’s obviously well practiced at this. As soon as you said he was parked across bays I knew it’d be to avoid cameras.
If you can do it contact the police again. There’ll be other cameras and he had to enter and leave the car park. If they make a bit of effort they’ll find the vehicle. Also maybe speak to the store manager and see if they’ll chase up the police too as it’s happened more than once.

Fraaances · 04/05/2025 01:41

You poor thing! I hope the police grab him!

Original poster

OrwellianTimes · 04/05/2025 06:55

Apreslapluielesoleil · 04/05/2025 01:29

A horrible experience, your brain is trying to process what happened. You handled it exactly right, sounds like you kept your dd calm.
He’s obviously well practiced at this. As soon as you said he was parked across bays I knew it’d be to avoid cameras.
If you can do it contact the police again. There’ll be other cameras and he had to enter and leave the car park. If they make a bit of effort they’ll find the vehicle. Also maybe speak to the store manager and see if they’ll chase up the police too as it’s happened more than once.

Yes it’s clear looking back he’d parked right across the CCTV so that where he was standing he couldn’t be seen.

OP posts:

wrongthinker · 04/05/2025 07:07

That sounds very scary OP. Your actions, getting yourself and your daughter to safety, were absolutely right and I hope that you can reflect on this and reframe some of the story. E.g. "I was able to think on my feet and get us to safety. I am able to look after myself and my family." This might help you to feel more safe, grounded and powerful. It is also true!

Do you have a counsellor or therapist that you've talked to before and found helpful? It might be worth messaging them and asking for a one-off session.

In the meantime, if you are struggling with images going round your head, tetris might help. Sounds daft, but there was research done a while ago that showed playing tetris in the aftermath of a traumatic experience helped people to become regulated and stop replaying the event in their mind.

Original poster

OrwellianTimes · 04/05/2025 08:21

wrongthinker · 04/05/2025 07:07

That sounds very scary OP. Your actions, getting yourself and your daughter to safety, were absolutely right and I hope that you can reflect on this and reframe some of the story. E.g. "I was able to think on my feet and get us to safety. I am able to look after myself and my family." This might help you to feel more safe, grounded and powerful. It is also true!

Do you have a counsellor or therapist that you've talked to before and found helpful? It might be worth messaging them and asking for a one-off session.

In the meantime, if you are struggling with images going round your head, tetris might help. Sounds daft, but there was research done a while ago that showed playing tetris in the aftermath of a traumatic experience helped people to become regulated and stop replaying the event in their mind.

I’ve had a therapist I’ve talked to before, but I’m not sure how easy it would be to go back for one or two sessions, it was hard to bring the sessions to a close the last batch I had and I just don’t have the cash to pay for months of therapy again.

OP posts:

wrongthinker · 04/05/2025 08:46

OrwellianTimes · 04/05/2025 08:21

I’ve had a therapist I’ve talked to before, but I’m not sure how easy it would be to go back for one or two sessions, it was hard to bring the sessions to a close the last batch I had and I just don’t have the cash to pay for months of therapy again.

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I've had a situation with a previous therapist where we did a session over email and telephone. If you think it would be helpful I expect your former therapist would be able to offer something like this.

On the other hand, it might not feel necessary to discuss at length with a therapist. It might be something that you talk about with close friends or family so you can get hugs and reassurance. There are few things more emotionally regulating than a big long hug with someone who cares about you.