Would it be unreasonable to go on a break with friend on my child's birthday?

[Mouth]

Been invited by a friend on a 4-day yoga break that sounds wonderful and is just a yearly occurrence. It sounds perfect and I'd love to go but my child turns 15 during the 4 days. I've never been away on any of my children's birthdays and don't really like the idea of it and I'd feel guilty (plus I guess there will be other similar things out there on other dates) so I probably won't go but I'm a bit tempted. I wonder what people think - would it be being unreasonable to go?

If there are other dates that you could go then I wouldn’t even consider going away over your child’s birthday.

Why would you do that? A guy I dated had his mum always go and do her own thing on special occasions like his birthday and Mother’s Day and even in his 30’s it made him feel small and worthless, like he wasn’t good enough for his mum to see him on those few occasions a year. So putting it in the context of a child - don’t do that to them.

Why can’t you do other dates? It’s not like you share a birthday or it’s your friends birthday or anything - this is about your child.

One day a year is for your child, you have 364 days to choose a different day.

Wouldn’t even consider it…

I would’ve been ok with it as long as I was lavished with gifts beforehand… and a few thrown in after lol

My eldest DC was away on a school residential for their 13th birthday last year, they arrived back at 23.35 so we saw them for 25mins of that birthday. This year my favourite band is playing 2 nights on their birthday and the day before, venue is 100+ miles away so I would normally stay overnight, when I mentioned this to them they were adamant I should not be away on their birthday (even though I'd be back by lunchtime on the day). So from my child it would be a no.

No. They'd be really upset I'd say.

Just to post a different opinion, I think potentially you could. I don’t think I would have minded at 15. Maybe just ask her if she would mind and take it from there?

My husband was away for work on my son’s birthday last year. Couldn’t be helped but he was really sad about it and still mentions it now (he’s about to turn 9 though so different to a teenager). It might be one of the last birthdays they’re in your house though so I’d personally be sad to miss it.

I couldn't do it

I wouldn't do it.

My daughter would be fine with this - we would celebrate her birthday on another day. I promise you I love her very much and we have an excellent relationship! I guess it depends on your child's personality, the amount of weight you put on birthday celebrations occurring on the day itself, in your family.

I wouldn't do it, my daughters bday is v special to me. But I know others who do.

I've done it twice. Children didn't give a shit 🤷‍♀️

Aww I'm sorry to hear that. Was she stressed at the time? I've found stress and being perimenopausal have completely destroyed my memory. Quite often I get the day of the week wrong 😳

My kids wouldn’t have minded at all. They would have been pleased I was doing something I was going to enjoy.

Yes YABU and she will remember.

my dad worked away when i was a child, i couldnt tell you which birthdays (and Christmas) he was at home for and which ones he missed