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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so angry at DSS

54 replies

guidedoptionaldestiny · 03/05/2025 18:56

DSS is 17. He stays every weekend . Last night he went out with friends and got back about 3 am, was noisy and woke us up and was loudly telling us how he had to walk home then was exclaiming he needed to tell us something else before falling asleep so we just left him on the sofa as seemed the best thing.
He woke up at 130pm and started to talk again about on his way home how he saw 2 little kittens and that they must have been less than 8 weeks as were smaller than our cat when we got it. Said that he knew ‘not to touch them or move them as the mother cat would come back for them and would reject them if they had a persons scent on them ‘ 🤦

I tried to ask him exactly where he saw them and he wasn’t sure, I asked him where he had been drinking / had he been to any of his friends houses etc so I could work out exactly where these kittens might be. Eventually narrowed it down to a road between a golf course and some fields and immediately went looking . DSS refused to come as was hungover and felt sick. I looked for nearly 2 hours no sign at all so I went back and told him he had to come with me to show me where they were . He did and we still
didnt find them. I started to think maybe he imagined it but he said he was with his friend who he called and confirmed it. I’m so cross with him that he didn’t just pick them up and bring them back with him and I’m going to worry about them now and I couldn’t find them.

OP posts:
ChristmasIsComingVerySoon · 03/05/2025 18:58

But surely this could be a good thing? They're not there because they're with the mother?

Original poster
guidedoptionaldestiny · 03/05/2025 19:00

ChristmasIsComingVerySoon · 03/05/2025 18:58

But surely this could be a good thing? They're not there because they're with the mother?

I hope so but there’s nothing there except fields and a golf course and people drive down that road far too fast . Plus why weren’t they with the mother when he saw them I’m worried maybe she’s been hit by a car and hidden and that’s why they were out ? I honestly feel like going back again just in case

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 03/05/2025 19:03

You are under reacting to teenage drinking and overreacting to this absurd drunkard’s tale.

EmmaJane2025 · 03/05/2025 19:04

Yeah this rumour/myth that you can’t get your scent on them or the mother will ‘reject’ them is such utter nonsense. It may be true of some specific wildlife but not generally the case. Poor kittens

Original poster
guidedoptionaldestiny · 03/05/2025 19:05

pikkumyy77 · 03/05/2025 19:03

You are under reacting to teenage drinking and overreacting to this absurd drunkard’s tale.

We have spoken to him multiple times about the drinking. He will be 18 in 6 weeks time and looks mid twenties so it’s hard to stop him if he goes out. His mother allows him to to drink at home and we have told him he can’t drink in our house till he’s actually 18

OP posts:
EmmaJane2025 · 03/05/2025 19:06

pikkumyy77 · 03/05/2025 19:03

You are under reacting to teenage drinking and overreacting to this absurd drunkard’s tale.

Oh give over! He’s 17 not 13! Besides, you’ve no idea how OP or her DH have handled the teenage drinking ffs. She hasn’t posted I ask advice on that…!

Original poster
guidedoptionaldestiny · 03/05/2025 19:07

I wish it was just a drunkards tale as well but his friend who is generally sensible confirmed it . Im going to go back for another look because we have so many foxes round here and I’m worried

OP posts:
JudithOnHolidayAgain · 03/05/2025 19:10

He woke you at 3am and slept on the sofa until afternoon.
I would be focusing on that!!!

Walkerzoo · 03/05/2025 19:10

So... You aren't allowing a teenager to drink responsibly where you can monitor it but you are concerned about cats.

Good luck to you when he turns 18 and it is legal to drink and that that means

Lorlorlorikeet · 04/05/2025 07:42

guidedoptionaldestiny · 03/05/2025 19:07

I wish it was just a drunkards tale as well but his friend who is generally sensible confirmed it . Im going to go back for another look because we have so many foxes round here and I’m worried

You’re really focusing on a weird part of all this 🤣

Gall10 · 04/05/2025 07:45

It’s you diss that needs sorting out, not those cats!

Hercisback1 · 04/05/2025 07:45

You're the bonkers one chasing round after a drunken tale.

Next time shove him in bed and leave him to talk to himself!

Doveyouknow · 04/05/2025 07:48

The mum probably left the kittens to go hunting. If they are not there now the chances are they are back with her. Not taking them home was probably one of the more sensible decisions you DSS made that night.

JMSA · 04/05/2025 07:48

She’s not bonkers at all. She’s clearly an animal lover who is trying to do the right thing.
Plus, her stepson is a twat.

Hercisback1 · 04/05/2025 07:51

À 17yo having a few beers and leaving the kittens isn't a twat. What's he done wrong? The OP is the complete over reactor.

ImustLearn2Cook · 04/05/2025 07:55

@guidedoptionaldestiny When our cat had kittens somewhere outside in our backyard she carried them one by one into the house. It is possible that the mummy cat came back and carried the kittens to her home.

MrBallensWife · 04/05/2025 08:04

I think your SS did the right thing by leaving them,imagine if the mom was in the process of moving them one by one to a safer place and she comes back to find the last 2 gone?,she'd be distraught.
I'd try and take it as a good sign that they aren't there anymore and move on.

HollidaySunshine · 04/05/2025 08:10

Stop worrying. The mum most likely moved them

ThatShyRoseViper · 04/05/2025 08:14

What a weird overreaction to some random cats that are nothing to do with you.

IglesiasPiggl · 04/05/2025 08:18

I mean, do what you can to help kittens but you're massively overthinking this. You went to look for them but didn't find them. That's really all you can do, you have tried.

Megifer · 04/05/2025 08:21

People who are drunk dont often make the best decisions unfortunately op.

When i was 17 and pissed as a fart on Moscow Mules I brought home a tiny mouse that I rescued from a cat, kept the little thing in my bag, proudly showed off it to the taxi driver.... (Mouse, not bag). Got home and insisted mum helped me make it a home for it there and then which she did bless her.

So opposite of your DSS but still not a great decision tbh.

Mouse was ok btw.

Fullofquestions1 · 04/05/2025 08:21

cant believe you actually went looking for some random cats I honestly wouldn’t have given them a second thought let alone go looking for them. Sounds like DSS had a good night and got home safely which is all that matters.

pinkdelight · 04/05/2025 08:32

There will be many animals in the world in peril right now that you can't do anything about. This story of a knocked over mother cat and foxes at large around abandoned kittens is all in your head and you need to get perspective. You've looked and there's nothing. It's fine and if it wasn't, there's nothing you can do now. Donate to the Cats Protection League and get on with your day.

Smallmercies · 04/05/2025 08:34

Either the mum moved them or they're dead. Stop fretting about it. The world is full of kittens.

Temporaryname158 · 04/05/2025 08:36

So you aren’t angry about being woken multiple times but are fretting about some kittens. This is madness and you are being totally unreasonable to DSS to be angry at all with him