To want to leave because of my kid?

[fuelledbycalpol]

And notice please, please, please, I’m saying I want to, not that I will …

but my child is just bloody awful and he’s not even school age yet but he is openly hostile to me and goes out of my way to make life difficult (yes I get some of it is just him being a child but some of it is more purposeful and deliberate than that) and fucking DH constantly undermines me.

What is the point?

Sounds pretty terrible. Can you take break? Have a weekend away to recoup?

I'm sorry you are struggling. I have a 4 and 2 year old so I understand it can feel like they are trying to make your life difficult, but they are far too young for that.

Their behaviour can absolutely be difficult but no small child is horrible, they are just learning to navigate everything about the world and how they fit into it.

Without knowing more about your situation, it's impossible to know whether you're just having a hard time and venting or whether you might need to see the GP about how you're feeling... but If you genuinely think your child is awful and trying to make your life difficult it would be a good idea to get some help.

Your DH undermining you is a different matter. He's an adult who is responsible for his own actions. Have you sat down and told him how you feel and made a plan of how to present a united front?

I don’t have anywhere to go and I can’t leave my children (I have more than one but only one is horrible to me!) with DH.

Virtual hugs.
Tell us a bit more, we might be able to give you some tips or share experience?

Sorry, posts coming.

My child is just … jeez I know challenging behaviour happens but I feel at the moment I rarely or never see the nice side of him to the point where I’m not sure there is one.

It sounds like you’re really struggling, and not getting support from your DH. These are two separate issues. You clearly need to sit down and have an honest and open talk with him and figure out how you can work together more as a team. I just hope for your sake he is open to that.
I have a 3.5 year old, but I’m a single parent. But I understand how difficult it is not having support when things are tough, whether that’s because you’re alone or because the person you’re with just isn’t seeing you.
I’ve had times where parenting has been so difficult. My child’s behaviour to me was so bad, and honestly I felt I was drowning in stress at times. But as you well know, responding from a place of stress/frustration just escalates everything.
Now, I know our situations may be very different but what I found helped massively for me was taking time to work on regulating my own emotions because I recognised I can’t regulate my child’s, if I’m living in a place of stress. I recognised his behaviour wasn’t personal or directed at me, he was having a hard time with certain changes and not understanding his own feelings and frustrations, so I took time to help him understand his emotions. I made sure to make extra time to engage more with him, more play time, being silly and laughing, being more on his level. I keep at least 5/10 minutes first thing in the morning and again last thing at night to cuddle and be silly to make him laugh. When he’s angry I now don’t react, I just ask if he wants a cuddle and 9 times out of 10 he says yes and that instantly diffuses the situation. It’s not always easy, but it’s become a lot easier since putting these steps in place, over time.
Everyone’s situation and dynamic is different but I thought I’d share what helped me, in case there’s anything there that might also help you.
I hope things improve for you soon x

Are your other kids older or younger?