My 3 year old at big school nursery - worried he’s too young

[mythreeyr]

My just turned three year old has recently joined a school nursery at a through school.

Before he joined, he was at a day nursery since he was a baby. The day nursery was very small. Small rooms, lots of gates going into the garden - big door system with security cameras and door bells to let you in.

it felt secure. The garden was small and all completely gated off…

the school he’s started at is absolutely huge. Huge playground, Forrest, play areas etc.

during the school day he’s in his nursery room and outdoor area which I’m not worried about. He goes to have lunch in the lunch hall which is also fine as it’s nearby.

but the after school club is my worry. There are children from nursery to year 2 who attend. It’s free flow. Some kids are outside in the yard riding little bikes, others are in the playground near a Forrest and others are inside just running around between lots of classrooms and the lunch hall. It just seems really big for him.

security wise, you just walk up to the door, which the kids can open ( they don’t, but they can ). A member of staff is usually in the room where you pick them up, but sometimes distracted doing stuff with the kids.

it’s absolutely fine for older kids. My older son is at this school too and I’m not worried. But my little one is still so all over the place, I am worried he’ll get lost. The teachers need to supervise him constantly- not like a child in year 1 or 2 of even reception. My older son was nearly 4 when he started so just seemed a bit less ‘ all over the place ‘… my little one is a little menace and loves opening and closing doors and that kind of thing.

It’s a great school, I’m just worried that he may get lost of the teachers will really lose patience with him. He’s a clever little guy, but he’s still in that dangerous phase where you do need to watch him all the time.

does anyone else have experience here, sending a child in this kind of phase to a very big school? Will the teachers be ok watching him so closely ? He’s the youngest child in the school at the moment.

That was just bitchy. He doesn't need any "schooling" for starters, he's THREE in case you missed that in your rush to make a spiteful comment 🙄

@mythreeyr I get it, he's very young and you are maybe worried because it's a "school" nursery they will have school standards/expectations? But if they're open to younger ages, I'd assume they are set up to deal with the behaviour/safety requirements of youngster children?

If you are worried, maybe just have a chat to the staff? I'm sure they can reassure you.

Hi, as per my response to the other poster, I was asking a genuine question, not taking a dig at your spelling, because I thought it might be some new type of nursery activity!
Given English is one of your 5 languages, that's amazing!

A lot of schools don't take nursery children in their afterschool provision, some won't take under 5's. It's good they do, although strange there are so few little ones. I think you need to clarify the door situation. It doesn't sound safe that a child could (in theory) let an adult in without staff being aware.

Christ!!! You ok?

@TheCountofMountingCrispBagsyeah don’t worry and thanks. I am shocked I’ve been spelling it wrong for so long ! I’m glad you pointed it out actually, so now I know.

You still sound like a dick

Wow! Im amazed english isnt your first language, you write totally fluently and I would have assumed it was your native tongue. You must be brilliant at languages, im very jealous! 😄

No, i genuinely did not know what it was

Yeah you did. You can't even that dense to not be able to work it out.

That would worry me as well. I'd definitely speak to them about it. It's concerning that it isn't secure

If that's true, it's an Ofsted safeguarding automatic fail no matter how good the quality of education etc. are. I'd be raising it with the headteacher immediately.

Oh, lovey, you are so very determined to have your view reinforced aren't you?
I do hope being a cow to a stranger makes you feel better, because you seem to need to get rid of some bile. Otherwise, there's 111

If you feel like he is unsafe you need to move him or speak with them. It is their responsibility to mind him, they should not be accepting 3 year olds if it is an unsuitable or unsafe environment.
If it is the case that safety is not an issue but you feel maybe he is a bit overwhelmed then you could give it a bit of time to see if he settles.

Wow. Two sentences promote that reaction. Are you ok?

Generally most kids at a school nursery don’t start until the September after they turn 3 so I’m assuming your school had places to let your child in earlier? Just turning 3 is very young for the change to this environment but the school/nursery will be used to it so I would definitely speak to them. From September there should be more kids their age at the wraparound.

For what it’s worth, My son, turned 4 in March, has been going to his school nursery since September as we wanted him to get used to a school environment (cheaper than private nursery) and it’s been one of the best things we have done. He’s going to the reception at the school from this September but not every child in the school nursery has got a place so if you are having reservations look at the councils admissions criteria as if you don’t think they’ll get into reception maybe you should rethink what’s right for them?

If I had my way again, I would have kept ds2 behind a year, he was the youngest in his year group (July baby) and he was always the kid catching up as he was 10 months younger than his peers.

He is absolutely fine now but I think in hindsight if we had kept him behind a year his schooling would have been a different experience for the better.

thansk for your input.

I know quite a few children that started at the school nursery, just after they turned 3. They do accept them. They need to be assessed before they can go to this school and my son was accepted obviously. I have told them numerous times, do you think he’ll be ok ? He’s small and still all over the place. He has very good language skills and communications skills. But he’s still just 3.

it’s a private school so he will have an automatic place in reception like his brother did.

The nursery sounds good. The afterschool club sounds less appropriate. I would leave him at the nursery but use alternative afterschool care if you possibly can!

• Could you change your work hours to mean you can do pick-ups?
• Is there an independent day nursery that has a wrap around care club and would pick up both your children from school and take them back to better afterschool provision?
• Is there a childminder who does pick ups from the school who could have your kids?

My school have nursery children with reception and year 1 children for breakfast and after school club so this is normal. Do they actually have free access to all the places you mention? In ours these group are kept in one room and if enough adults, then they will allow them to move onto one playground.
The older children is a similar set up, where they are in another room and have access to a larger playground but again they need to wait for a staff member to say they can go out and have the correct level of supervision.

I am surprised at the level of security though. Our nursery building needs a pass to open, likewise once parents have collected after school they shut the main gates and parents have to press a buzzer to collect from after school club and a pass is needed to open the doors.
Do you mean the door to nursery can be opened by the children and they can roam free in the school grounds, or that the school is easily accessed in which case I would speak to the headteacher about how they safeguard children.

You can ask to see the risk assessment they have for the after school club and the younger children especially. You are well within your rights to raise concerns you have about gates being left open and access to the site.

@mythreeyrone of my son’s friends is an August birthday and had been 3 a matter of days before the September term started and he seems to have settled in well. I guess with it being private school (I have no knowledge or experience of private schools) they wouldn’t have accepted your child if they didn’t think they were ready so he should be fine.

so there’s a little waist high gate, that’s always open, which is where you come in.

then you walk to a normal door of a classroom and a lot of children are usually in that room, playing etc. the teachers are usually in there or waking in and out. I think technically the kids can open that door. The teacher just walks up and opens it when they bring your child to you.

I will ask.

then there’s another waist high gate that leads into the play yard etc and some parents needs to go through that gate, at normal pick up time ( not after school ). To pick up children from the actual nursery class.

I need to double check how that gate works as the other day it seemed easy to open, but I’m not 100 percent sure.

there are always teachers and TAs everywhere. But I have wondered recently how they account for all the kids, as it’s so big and there are so many areas they could be.

when I pick up my son, I often can’t see him and they go and find him, he’s either outside or somewhere else inside or in the toilets etc. this is fine, but obviously feels so different when you’re picking up a 3 year old !

Some of our local school nurseries take children from 2 and are looking at taking babies from 9 months.

I would be asking more questions about ratios etc of after school club. Which part of the school is it in? I would assume most external doors would have something like maglock on it so children can’t normally open them but locks released in an emergency

I am more than ok, but thank you for your passive-aggresive 'concern'

I do think school nurseries expect a lot of 3 year olds which was one of the drivers behind keeping my DD at her day nursery until Reception. But they do take 3 year olds so should be set up for them. Is there a member of staff you could talk to about your concerns about the after school club?

I'd find out more details of the after school club.

It needs to be run as childcare if it's taking early years children, so unless a qualified teacher is physically there in the club with the 3 & 4 year old there needs to be a level 3 qualified early years practitioner and a 1:8 ratio. The children need to be supervised - an adult can't just be in and out of the room.