The reality of co-parenting

[MummatoP]

Posting here for traffic.

Please can those who are either living it, or been there and done it let me know what co-parenting is like. Ideally child age 2 upwards. Alternate weekends etc. Ignoring the finances element

It's fine if you can both always be led by what is best for your child. You'll find that contains the answer to most disagreements you may have. I am very happy and get the best of both worlds - one on one time with DS and time to be me. Do you have specific questions?

It's fine once you find the schedule that works best for your child and if you remain living close to each other.

It can be tricky at the start when the emotions of a relationship ending are still raw. But years on as long as both parents behave reasonably, communicate and are a little flexible it can work out.
I get on fine with my ex-H now and our routine is very long standing. But we can swap around if need be and are all happy to do this. We also talk and agree plans on any difficulties that DC’s might be going through. Recently agreed to make changes at both houses to help DC’s.

My ex-p continued to hate his DC’s mum for years after she left him and they don’t ever get on or see eye to eye, so there’s still a lot of drama and unnecessary upset. He’s also prone to being incredibly selfish and behaving like a child himself which makes it hard for all involved. Although not me anymore as it was one of the reasons I left him. I do feel sorry for his DC and her mum as his behaviour means it will always be difficult and it doesn’t need to be.

challenging at times but for the most it’s absolutely fine. Both parties need to be child-focused and respectful to different opinions but you don’t have to do everything exactly the same in 2 houses.
Also some rules about future partners etc is a good idea to avoid problems later on.

It all depends on whether both parents can be reasonable, flexible and child centric.

My ex was great. There was the odd issue caused by my eldest which is the joy of parenting teens!

I think it depends on the personality of the parents and kids. My kids like structure and routine, my ex is a selfish, disorganised, chaotic mess to put it bluntly. Unless reminded, he’ll forget what days he’s having them and arrange things for himself instead. If I won’t change my plans to have the dc, he’ll just drag them along to his stuff. He regularly forgets basic things like what time to collect the dc (so is often late) their school start time (been the same for 6+ years!), to brush my dd hair, to give my ds his meds (that’s he’s been on for 9-10 years!) so in that respect it’s not great. I still have to pick up his slack and manage a lot of the parenting and life admin to ensure the dc are ok, but my ex calls it ‘co-parenting’ as if he does an equal share. In his head, it’s a perfect co-parenting relationship and he’s a great dad because he sees them once a week and buys them Pokémon cards. However I imagine that if both parents are actually equally involved in the minutiae of dc daily life then it would work much better for the RP.